hi moomin! i have an odd question - you mention that age-peer group play is scary for your daughter. does she do well playing in groups where the kids are older?
i wonder about this because we worried a lot about our girl (5) re: social anxiety (her dad is a classic case, so we've had an eye on the issue.) a lot of observation and some work with a psychologist revealed an interesting, if unfortunate, dynamic at school.
as it turns out, age-peer group play is a particular problem for her because no matter what game they're playing, she either adds on more complex rules or layers in a storyline. tag is never just tag - it's a contagious virus sweeping the world and she's a virologist who can un-tag the current carrier and steal being "it". she's only trying to make it more interesting for everyone, but in the process, she often loses the other kids and winds up alone. based on this pattern, she has concluded that they all hate her. (they don't - i get about 6 playdate requests a day for her and her teachers say she's the most popular girl in the class - it's quite a paradox!)
so... what looked like a serious fear of group situations turned out to be somewhat true, but it wasn't quite the whole story. there was something very specific that was causing the trouble, and as soon as we knew what it was, it was a bit easier to tackle.
i do think it's amazing that your daughter integrated the neuropsych's advice about the restroom so quickly - that's a VERY good sign. with social anxiety (again, with the husband!), it's so hard to break out of old patterns and try a new strategy. your daughter may even have some ideas on how she could improve her situation - she sounds like such a great kid.
ps - i LOVE the idea of going out the window - it feels like the beginning of a great adventure novel.
