DS 3.3 is the younger brother of my PG DS 5.4. I have a couple of issues that really confuses me and hope somebody has experience with this.

1. DS 3.3 is an EXTREME perfectionist. He is very reluctant to answer any questions when he doesn't absolutely know the answer. He will whisper it if he says anything at all. I am thinking this might be due to his older brothers constant criticism of him not knowing what he "should" know. (his brother, who is a crazy workaholic at age of 5 will say "You play too much, you need to work more") The other day he was writing and made an A that he didn't like. He freaked out crying trying to erase what he had written. It as written with a marker so that didn't work. He begged me to rip the A out of the book. DS5 was nice and said that "Your A is nicer than mine" trying to calm him down.

Any suggestions how to deal with this and make him relax a bit?

2. This is what I am really wondering about. He is EXTREMELY sensitive to what he sees. Examples: The other night I was about to put on a new pajamas that was camo pattern. He got very upset, crying saying he didn't like the pattern. He refused to let me put it on him. I asked why he didn't like the pattern and he said "It looks like people that are crying". (He is very sensitive to others feelings) Looking back to when he was just over 1 years old he wouldn't wear PJ's that had ears on the feet either. Cried hysterically.

He is also not wanting to go to school because they have a new circle time rug that he doesn't like. He says "I don't like the new one because it is blue with letters, I want the red one with NO letters" It is very upsetting to him. I am sure he will get over it but still...

He looks at paintings around the house saying "Why is that deer staring at me", "What is in that water" (upset wondering).

Tons of other things too. Hard to explain, but he will look at things and wonder why it looks a certain was, see things I had never thought of and ask questions I can't answer. Sometimes he is upset, sometimes just curious. Just seems he has an extreme intensified view of the world. This goes for things he hears too, like music.From about 1 years of age he has been very particular about what songs he wants to hear and will cry if there is a song he doesn't like. I have always thought, you are a toddler, how can you pick up on this and CARE??

I was thinking for a while he could have SPD and talked to the pediatrician about it. She said he doesn't fit that profile at all and suggested the sensitivities being because of overexcitabilities. We do not know that he is gifted at this point although we suspect it. He has no tactile issues, mild loud noise sensitivity, somewhat sensitive to light but none of the other check marks that comes along with SPD.

It is just mostly emotional. He gets very upset when there is even a HINT of criticism, condescending and has been like this before he was 1. Extremely observant to others feelings, things going on around him and REALLY sympathetic, to the point where he will cry if something happens to a character in a book etc.

Just wondering if anybody has had a kid like this, how you handled it and what the reason was for this behaviour. I am not wanting to accept that it is just part of his possible giftedness until I explore other reasons, if there are any.

Thanks all!