I agree with st pauli girl's advice. I'm also curious - is the gifted program housed within your dd's current school, or is it a pull-out at a different school or a full program at a different school? If it's not housed in your school, I'd try emailing the person who is the "gatekeeper" of the actual program, and letting them know about your dd and her qualifying scores. You might find (in this type of scenario) that the people in charge of the actual program are more than happy to admit your dd, but your school staff is the stumbling block.
I am certain your child is not the only gifted + not-speaking-out in class student in the gifted program! Plus... fwiw... I'd be tempted to remind the people who are telling you she's "not showing signs of leadership" that being outspoken isn't the only way to demonstrate leadership. What about paying attention in class, doing what is expected of you, being kind, being a good citizen - seriously, make up a list of all the ways she's showing her gifts as a leader in school *other* than raising her hand in class.
Good luck!
polarbear
