Wow! What a weird experience. This meeting could not have been any more different than the horrible one in June. Where to start...
First the meeting was not held in the usual conference room where everyone is squeezed around a small table. The last 2 meetings I was forced into a corner of the table without even having a spot on the table for my notebook. I assume new DSS and/or new director of pupil personal services decided to change the location to indicate there was a new atmosphere. They ran the meeting and the principal was indeed marginalized. Her attempts to be included involved her expanding on what we were asking for rather than being obstructionist. Someone clearly had discussed this matter with her. In a very serious manner. Perhaps including that she may have placed her job at risk. The difference in her attitude and demeanor was that dramatic...
Anyway - to the important stuff. No color chart. There will be another IEP meeting next month with the neuropsych. I indicated concern that "someone" (I made absolutely certain not to mention the principal by name) might interpret this to mean that they would be free to alter this plan the following day. It was expressed over and over that they understand just how big an issue this is for DD, that they are committed to providing her the best opportunity possible to access her education and that they want to create the best plan possible for her. I expressed that if this was in fact their position I was very happy to hear it. I also pointed out, though, that this could not be more opposite than what we experienced at the June meeting.
When the new DSS said that was in the past and she is interested in moving forward I pointed out that almost everyone present was new, and they did not experience what happened before. However if you violate someone's trust there are ramifications. You cannot expect that person to forget what happened and simply accept that things have changed. That trust, once lost, will take time and serious effort to reestablish.
DH and I explained in pretty good detail just how DD's anxiety presents itself and what some of her triggers are. We spent much of the meeting drafting a behavior plan that will be in effect throughout her school day. Surprisingly it was the principal who objected to wording about DD's primary classroom and said she felt it had to be expanded to include all parts of her school day if they are going to be successful in containing her anxiety.
I managed to let people - especially those new to the situation - know just how inappropriately the entire situation had been handled without actually stating just how badly the principal had behaved. Those who knew what happened got it - those who are new to the situation know something REALLY bad must have gone on but don't know what it was unless someone inside the school fills them in.
The new teacher didn't say a word - I don't know any more about her now than I did before the meeting. The new SW is *very* eager to help - we'll have to see how that plays out. I hope she is not too eager... The new director of PPS seemed to really get it - that the principal's behavior and plan for DD was totally inappropriate, that she had placed the district at risk of major liability and most importantly that this is a child with unique educational needs that will require a unique plan. I pointed out that the "I" in IEP is for "individual" and it would not be appropriate for "anyone" to expect her to round off her square edges in order to fit into the pre-made round holes that currently exist at the school. That she is NOT going to be penalized because her needs differ from standard protocol and/or are outside standard school policy.
So we have a plan in place that will entail increased services in her areas of need as well as twice a day "enrichment/anxiety breaks" that will allow DD to spend some time on her areas of strength. The details are still being ironed out because they admitted that they have never had to incorporate something like this before.
After the meeting our consultant said that if he had written a script he couldn't have asked for a better outcome. Hopefully DD has more of what she needs than before we met. The principal got the message loud and clear that her behavior was totally unacceptable and I am not the "forgive and forget" type. I'm sure it won't all be a bed of roses but it HAS to be better than it was by the second half of last year. I believe there is at least a good chance that DD can have a good year as opposed to the 100% guarantee of a train wreck if I hadn't fought them.
