Hi RaSha,
In our experience we weren't able to find a preschool that had any academic challenge. The best we found was billed as a montessori but offers a lot of free play and is mixed age.
Evemomma -- We are now in the same boat as you as our DS is 5. 1st is not a current option for him due to poor fine motor skills, and emotionally he's not ready for 1st either. But a caveat to assuming K will be a relaxed environment. When we looked at the best rated public K in our area we found that it was not a relaxed playing/social year at all. In that district they want all kids reading by the end of K (and retain any who are not). This helps protect the school's test scores down the road. As many kids come in barely knowing letters this means a monotonous curriculum built around learning to read, many hours a day are devoted to it leaving little time for other stuff. This school has a gifted pullout for one single hour a week for kids who can add, they get to learn simple subtraction, still not right for DS. Peeking into K rooms revealed wholly a group instruction method, no kids doing their own thing. Basically to me it appeared K and 1st were not different in their teaching style or expectations for behavior. K was a mini 1st grade with a basket of toys in the corner for kids who arrive to school early.
So for us the outcome of observing a bunch of K classes at various schools is we are having our DS return to his preschool for another year of play. The school nominally has a K program he will attend but mainly it will be another year of play as well as working on his fine motor issues. Additionally we'll homeschool a bit.
I worry that making him go to a public K with an academic program set at the wrong level, that has high expectations for "good" behavior, would only convince him that school is worthless. He may get that impression later but i'd like to put that off as long as possible, I think our school system is more likely to differentiate better later on when his writing and maturity level are better. K is a year where there are actually some alternatives out there in our community, whereas 1st is not.
Polly
