Sorry, realised I had accidentally posted under my partner's account so have deleted my last post and I am reposting to avoid confusion (or maybe create it!):
(Thanks or your reply to what I've reposted posted below, St Pauli Girl. I have an appointment with the school next week so I will see how we go - I'll definitely give the positive approach a go).
Thanks for your responses. I absolutely get what your saying and certainly we're not worried about the situation as it stands at the moment, more looking to build in it. I am thrilled that she is happy and if we get nothing more than that for now we're completely ok with it. What I think about though though is that she has never really been challenged and when I think about the kids in kindergarten that I used to help with reading, they were were getting that challenge every day, learning that it's ok to fail and ok to not to know something straight away, satisfying to enjoy the success that comes from overcoming a challenge.
What I guess I am curious about is whether anyone has had any luck with helping kids (particuarly girls) past that underachieving for social reasons thing, helping them past just doing the minimum. I don't mean a short term fix so it I can have her putting in 110% every day (she's 6.5yo), but the messages or strategies people might have had success with over time?
On the one hand the social stuff is kind if her thing, but having underachieved all through school and having to play catch up now, I just don't want dd, over time, to sell herself short. She does do out of school activities that provide some challenge. I more keen though to help her feel she can own her abilities, successes or failures in a more public setting too. Perhaps I should look in to some team sports (she does individual activities currently)
(And I know I am being greedy wanting more than happy at school - we've left a situation where dd was having panic attacks about dying each day before school because she wass so unhappy so I am extremely, extremely grateful for 'extremely happy'!)
Thanks again.
