We split the process up; first, I insisted that he wipe himself just once first, and then I did the rest; we shifted into him doing it, and me checking and finishing off if necessary; and then he started checking with a mirror instead of needing me to check. Wetwipes do make it easier, and the mirror also helped. If you still don't get cooperation for the smallest step forward you can think of, you just insist, using whatever technique you use for things you have to insist on!

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