This is how Aiden (5) became just before we pulled him out of school. It got so bad that the kids at school would come tell me when I fetched him. Since being out of the school environment, he is MUCH better, and even sometimes lets his younger brother and friends who are here for play dates etc "be the boss/leader of the games"
Aiden's therapist told me that it is his way of trying to control something, anything because he feels so out of control in other life areas. So we gave him more control where he could have it - eg he chooses when he will bath and if he will bath or shower, he chooses his own clothes, he chooses his own breakfast every day, he chooses what we do for home school each day, he chooses outings when we have the opportunity to do so etc. One night a week we have family choice night and every family member takes a turn to choose the family meal. Everyone has to eat it cheerfully, and the person choosing helps to make the meal. and other things that I recon are not critical, life or death kind of choices.
So essentially we have given him control over the things he can control, and it means he feels more secure and confident.
It has worked for him/us.
