Thanks to everyone for the kind words and advice.
She's not a good referral for special ed services (currently has straight A's, although by the skin of her teeth and Herculean emotional effort when the GAD is prominent).
Credit by exam for acceleration is not even on the table for DD at the moment. That's the kind of thing that has to be *her* idea or she won't be cooperative at all. It would also skip her from middle school to high school if she were successful across the board. I'm sure there are 2e ramifications of such a change that I haven't even considered.
Is this a crazy idea?: what if we re-envision public school in our family's worldview as a place where you go to see friends, get to play in the band, etc. We'd require her to "play the game" as it were. Keep up an A/B average and not get in trouble. In return, we, the parents, could spend this advocacy time and energy (and what little financial support we could throw at it) on afterschooling. Sort of a live and let live with the school until she can get access to the wider range of high school curriculum? I certainly can't be the first person to have thought up such an arrangement. Does it ever work? Will the boredom and "spaciness" still cause her friction and pain?
I think with the lack of money and the need for both of us to continue working full time (DH is currently well but takes super-expensive medication... maintaining access to traditional health insurance is sine qua non) means that I'll have to just get creative.
I'm really tired of trying to make her fit the school's paradigm. Trying to get the school to even look at a new paradigm has only been an exercise in conflict.
