It's been a long time since I've posted. My DD (almost 13) is finishing a rotten school year. Not all of the reasons are 2e related, but the "if you're so smart, then why can't you..." attitude has been more prevalent than any previous school year.
She's angry. I'm angry. DH is angry. The teachers and administration are frustrated and I've crossed over into being "that parent." The latter is problematic because I'm employed in the same district.
The main foci of our spring semester were DH's diagnosis of MS and subsequent hospitalization and DD's brief psychiatric hospitalization (both occurred in Feb). Her school was sympathetic to her needs for about a week after that and then started back with the focus on compliance rather than content.
DD finally got a 504 meeting (ADHD & GAD), but the teachers disagreed with the need for accommodations. There has been quite a bit of subjective interpretation of DD's behavior as laziness, taking advantage, manipulation, etc. They don't see how hard she tries to comply, but DH and I do. On top of everything, she's bored to tears and under stimulated. How do we even start the 504 plus more challenging content conversation?
I don't know where to turn for advocacy. She's just under the DYS criteria on the SAT CR (570/560/550, 8 on the essay - 7th grade). She missed 5th grade EXPLORE criteria by a similar margin (English, reading, and composite were each 1 point too low).
We don't have formal IQ testing, but we do have extensive medical bills now, so I don't see it happening soon. I'm actually a little afraid to "bargain shop" for a tester since I think a 2e specialist would be our best chance of "proving" that she's PG (she's a Ruf LOG 4 based on milestones).
I'm afraid we're losing her. The school just doesn't see what DH and I know to be true. We're just another "my kid is special, can do no wrong" whiney self-deluded set of parents, the kind teachers make fun of in the lounge at lunchtime. I shot myself in the foot by sending some emails before I waited to calm down. I really wish I hadn't... I'm hoping I'm not the only parent here who's wished there were an undo button for that.
FWIW, she's identified GT and enrolled in the GT elective. She loves that and band. Past that, the GT pop is served only through pre-AP and AP coursework. Rules for acceleration are rigid and require high scores on multiple-choice tests... DD will always do well on these, but not as well as a PG non-2e kid, I think. She tried one, didn't clear the hurdle, and is too afraid of "failure" to try again.
Assuming there's someway we could figure out how to get a qualifying DYS app put together, does DYS help with the 2e aspect at all? Does DYS consider 2e issues and lack of exposure to advanced content when looking at achievement testing? (She's never been accelerated other that her own personal pursuits.)
Maybe she's not PG or even 2e. But everytime I let myself believe that and stop trying to help her, something she does smacks me upside the head and says "you're her only advocate and you're not allowed to quit."
What would you do? Scrape together the money for testing? I hate middle school. Just as much as when I was a middle schooler.
