I am not sure where to go from here. When do you stop trying to fix things and just let your beloved child fail?
My DD18 has some kind of mysterious debilitating writing issue that is about to ruin everything for her. She can write very well but not on cue, that was the problem that got me searching for answers 2 years ago and led me here. We had the full eval and received a diagnosis of ADHD (I) and PDD-NOS (Asbergers)...LOL spell check just came up with "Beefburgers"
Anyway, she also has suffered from serious insomnia, chronic stomach pain, depression, lack of organizational skills, motivation and anxiety. If any of you remember, last year she was admitted to an awesome college that she desperately wanted to go to. We knew she would love it there but we worried about the writing issue. She tried ADHD meds over the summer, found a dose that seemed to work and went off to college.
Last semester she did great for about 2 months, then had an existential depression crises when 2 classmates with whom she had really bonded (after years of not having friends) left the school suddenly. She only managed to pull through by turning in a couple of very late papers at virtually the 11th hour. She informed me that she had quit taking the meds because they stopped working 2 months into the semester and she wrote both essays without meds. She is extremely happy at school for the first time I can remember, she has real fiends, is doing much better organizationally and is just doing so well in many ways but we are now at the end of the Spring semester and she is in the same boat or worse as last semester. She has turned in no written work at all.
The Assistant dean has told me that she will not be able to return this fall if the large freshman essay was not turned in (and it wasn't). My DD seems to have no appreciation for the reality of the situation and she insisted that she will be going back in the fall. Looking back, it seems that things fell apart about the time she quit taking the meds.
My Husband has made it clear that she may not move back in with us (in his house) if she is not going back to the college this fall (long story, but I feel that he is not being unreasonable in this). Her other options are a bit bleak and she is not ready to be out on her own. I fear if she moves in with her grandmother or her father she will become isolated and depressed and just waste away on the computer.
She agreed to try meds again and go to counseling "if that's what you want". The college has a contract with a local Psychiatrist but she has way too much anxiety to go to a strange place to see a strange person so far away from home. I have looked around for local counselors but it seems the recommended ones have no available appointments for months and I don't even know where she will be living. I thought about getting an apartment for her in the town that I work in so I could check in on her but that would compromise my ability to pay the tuition should she get to go back. Also, while part of me feels like I haven't done enough, I don't want to be an enabler by constantly coming up with the "Plan B" when maybe she just needs to fail and pick herself up. I really wish we had been able to try CBT or some kind of therapy with the meds but we didn't have time last summer.
I appreciate any thoughts on this, I am really not at all sure what to do. I feel like a bad parent either way neglecting or enabling - sigh!
