Hi MtMom...it sounds to me like you are handling things very well and that she is actually handling things well when you consider the amount to stress she is subject too just getting through her day. She sounds like giftedness is part of the mix.
She also has a history consistient with Sensory Integration challenges. Have you come across books on that topic? OT evaluation might teach you some stratagies for helping her get less overwhelmed.
I also like a book for parenting tips calledm '_ransforming the Difficult Child Workbook' by Lisa Bravo.
Smiles
Grinity
