I have a 6 year old daughter (just turned 6) who I suspect is gifted. We are going to test her this summer to see if she qualifies for the G&T program. She knew all her letters and sounds by 20 months without instruction, was sounding out words larger than CVC words by 24 months, doing 100 piece puzzles at about 2 1/2. Wanted to learn chess at 3 and also sounding out and writing words at 3. She started to read a little at 4 but then lost interest. Now in kindergarten she is reading at a DRA level for 3rd grade level according to her teacher, but at home is reading 4th and 5th grade level books such as Diary of a Wimpy Kid. They are doing minimal math in school but at home when presented with math problems she figures them out on her own or once explained she gets it. So I'm not sure where she falls for math. Right now she's really into bugs and is reading books about them and always saying "did you know that...." it's so cute.
Anyway, back to the purpose of my post. At school she is an angel, never is a problem for her teachers, is very mature, gets along well with her classmates, and is basically an ideal student. At home though it is a completely different story. I have had behavioral problems with her starting from the time she was a small baby. She literally came out of the womb with temper tantrums.
I have always described her as passionate when it comes to her emotions, whether she's happy, sad, frustrated, or angry, it's as if her emotions are very intense for her.
The problem I am having is now that she is 6 I feel that the amount of temper tantrums should have subsided by now. There are days where she can have as many as 5 or 6. When she was younger (2-4 years old) I would rock her in the rocking chair and that would calm her down. But for the past 18 months I have told her she needs to go to her room and scream and when she is calm she can come out. I never give in to what she wants and I'm always very matter of fact about it. She doesn't fight going to her room or staying there. However, she'll march up screaming and stomping and slamming doors like a teenager.
She can get frustrated when toys don't work the way she wants them to and will easily have meltdowns because of it. She also has problems with her frustration and anger when it comes to her older sister when they are playing which also leads to the temper tantrums. I have tried telling her she is old enough now to use her words instead of resorting to screaming, hitting, biting, scratching, throwing things, etc. But just recently when she was angry with me about something she grabbed my shoulders, somewhat squeezed them, and it seemed as though she was trying to 'stop' herself from hurting me by making a contained growling sound. If that makes sense. I always tell her that this behavior is not okay, etc, etc, etc, and that she needs to say sorry, and go to her room to cool off. But apparently my technique is not working.
This was something I thought she would outgrow and have never been overly concerned because it never happens in school or when she was in preschool.
I don't want to give the wrong impression though, because she can be extremely loving and caring as well. One time when she was 5 I accidentally pinched her finger and she was doing everything she could not to cry. When she had a few tears I asked her if she was okay and she said she wasn't crying, that she just had something in her eye. I believe she didn't want me to feel any worse for hurting her than I already did. I will wake up with her in bed with me stroking my face or hair. At the park she will be taking care of little kids and babies and watch over them, etc.
I'm just wondering if this is something I should be concerned about even though it doesn't happen at school. Is there something I am doing wrong, or can do differently?
