All three of my kids act much better in public than at home
Even at 12
That said, my youngest dd (8), like your dd, never seemed to outgrow the huge temper tantrums that you typically expect to see in a much younger child. Yet she's an angel at school all day long.
I'll be honest, I have no advice!!! Lately we seem to have hit a patch where she's learned a bit how to control her temper - but fwiw, I do think that handling frustration and keeping control is going to be a challenge for her throughout her life. Is it a part of something more that we should be concerned about? I'm not really sure. For our dd, she's always been an anxious child, and she's HG with a slight dash of 2e so she's got those extra little challenges thrown in, along with a good dose of needing to be in control. One thing that helps with highly emotional children is simply time - as they get older they are better able to understand what is happening within themselves as well as better able to communicate it with parents. We took dd to a counselor for a few sessions this winter and it helped having a different adult (other than a parent) go through some simple concepts with her re feelings and how to recognize and deal with them. To be honest, the counseling sessions seemed beyond tedious to me because the counselor talked to her as if she had an IQ of a typical 3 year old... and here she is an HG 8 year old... but it helped!
Hang in there,
polarbear
