I would be real clear on the purpose of the mtg. I know some folks who they mtgs went poorly and it did mess things up. In part in one case because the a question was asked about going to class with big kids vs friends. of course this upset the kid. I just personally wouldn't want to be in a position of talking about decision in front of my child.
That's a very valid point. Go there to meet her, to find out more about the school, to get a feeling for the place and to show it to your son, but not to make any decisions. Use it to set up another appointment, but do not discuss the placement in front of your child. I go as far as trying not to discuss our 5 year old in front of our 3 year old.
You can use DS as an excuse and if DH is not attending then I would also use "I need to discuss it with my husband." Good luck.
