I used to be really particular about things like that also...the worst was when my mom had this apartment with REALLY hard water. THere would be little bits of minerals floating in the tub, it was AWFUL! I never freaked out like that, but I was older...
I agree on the showers. Can you try just saying "Either take the shower to avoid them or take the bath you want to play in and use this net to scoop them out yourself"?
Butter, 8, is really about having choices and control, so for her, just telling her that it's her choice, shower or bath, has eliminated alot of the power struggle type issues. Even if it's anxiety, maybe that could help?
I also agree, they don't really need a bath everyday usually. My life became so much easier once I came to that conclusion
