DD5 is just absolutely nuts if there is a speck of anything in her bath water. A hair, it's the end of the world. A tiny speck of dirt or fuzz or anything, she freaks out. She screams at me until I come and get it out. She leaps up to stand at the other end of the bathtub.

I've told her that she is bigger than any of the things, but she doesn't listen. I tell her that she needs to either deal with it or get out, and she pulls the plug and gets out.

Is this a "normal" sensory issue type thing, if there is such a thing as normal for that? It makes me crazy.

I don't see this as a sensory issue, but as a perfectionism issue. My DD7 did/does this, but not quite to that level. But by drawing a line in the sand there, you might be making it worse.

Five is a good time to start transitioning to showers, and that would solve this problem. If your DD is reluctant to try it, you could tell her about how the shower would rinse all those little yucky things down the drain.

Another way to go would be to give her some tools to remove those little fuzzballs herself. That's how I got my DD to relax about spider webs on her outdoor play set. I gave her a magic wand (old scrap of PVC pipe) and showed her how to wave it to make the webs disappear.

I think it's anxiety--she sees something unpredictable and uncontrollable, and she's not sure whether it's a danger or not.

You don't want to cater to this sort of thing-- because then she will believe that the danger is real. Better to ride out the yelling, IMO, while remaining calm and reassuring...

DeeDee

Oh man, I've tried everything! I didn't mean to imply that my current solution is the only one.

I've showed her how to catch the fuzzies, explained to her how much bigger she is than them, showed her what each one is (it's amazing how many odd little fuzzy things and specks of this and that can be in a clean bathtub -- even if I use the shower to rinse the tub first, something still shows up from the washrag or one of her bath toys). I put bubbles in every time I can get away with it, because it keeps her from seeing things, but she doesn't want bubbles much lately. I've tried showing her how cute the fuzzies are, because she's a sucker for tiny, cute things.

She does take a shower about half the time, which works better, but she loves to play in the bath -- except for the blasted fuzzy things and hairs. Arrrgh!

We haven't had the bath thing here, but I have a nephew who totally freaked out (and I mean FREAKED lol) when he was 3-8 years old if any food that was remotely non-white in color appeared anywhere near his plate, or if any of his foods touched on the plate or if.... oh my.... anyone dared put bread on his plate with the crust still attached. The first time I ever met him, he was two and he had a thing about car seats - he didn't like the way the arms of the seat hugged his body. We had to ride together in the car for 20 minutes and he screamed non-stop the entire time... which was apparently typical for him.. in a car seat. He was also not fond of sleeves, and refused to wear coats in mid-winter. Some of it may have been sensory, or maybe it was just quirkiness (I don't know his IQ but I suspect it's sky high based on what he's accomplished in school and based on conversations with him). It wasn't anxiety and it wasn't something that was just the typical type of reactions a parent could help the child work through.

So I can't help with the bath situation, but I can let you know - my nephew grew up to be just absolutely the coolest young adult ever! And he's so mellow now too... and he even eats foods of different colors, wears coats in winter, and doesn't scream in the car. He outgrew most of the quirky stuff at around 9 years old, and fwiw my sensory dd also outgrew a lot of sensory-related quirkiness at around 8 years old.

polarbear

Isn't that why you use bubble bath? To hide all the dirt? My 7 year old still hates showers (new house doesn't have a bath) so I've just had to give up on the shower-a-day concept. I'm happy if she has 2-3 showers a week and washes her hair once a week!!

jojo

If they are little (prepuberty) and not filthy dirty a daily bath really isn't a necessity (says the mom whose kids screams through baths some days). That said, give her power over the fuzzies. Get her a fish net, the type you use to remove fish from tanks. It gets dubbed her own personal fuzzy and/or hair remover. Now she has power over the situation. Things like that help my little guy (also five).

I used to be really particular about things like that also...the worst was when my mom had this apartment with REALLY hard water. THere would be little bits of minerals floating in the tub, it was AWFUL! I never freaked out like that, but I was older...

I agree on the showers. Can you try just saying "Either take the shower to avoid them or take the bath you want to play in and use this net to scoop them out yourself"?

Butter, 8, is really about having choices and control, so for her, just telling her that it's her choice, shower or bath, has eliminated alot of the power struggle type issues. Even if it's anxiety, maybe that could help?

I also agree, they don't really need a bath everyday usually. My life became so much easier once I came to that conclusion