I dont' know too much about Dyspraxia, except that my son was treated for it by an OT. I always thought it was a sort of OT thing.
'Problems with planning motor skills' and
'it's natural for most kids to learn to move their bodies by watching others without any thought - just the opposite for your kid' and
'once the behavior becomes automatic, it's just as good as for any other kid, but the process of getting the behavior to become automatic - well, that's very unusually difficult for your child.'
are how I think of it.
My guess is that being a social kid has (at least) two components -
1) The motivation to be social with other children
2) Being good at learning, and then doing, what works well when trying to be social with other kids.
I can see that poor motor planning would get in the way of #2 in all sorts of ways. Like adults, kids probably unconsiously mirror the body language of others as a way to fit in. Kids complained in 2nd grade that my son didn't smile, and his face wasn't expressive. Some kids 'know' how hard to push and when to back down. In elementary school, my son appeared not to be recieving those social signal, and also not particularly motivated to head them. Tone of voice requires muscles to be controled, and if one hasn't internalized what it takes to add color to speech, then it's going to be more difficult to interpret that color in other peoples speech. Sarcasm came before he caught on to other people's sarcasm.
My son was a social kid in the sense of the first component, and sort of average in the second component. Was he using his great motivation and his PG intelligence to compensate for his difficulties in the second area? I'll bet. Since we had no idea about how unusual his strengths were back then we had no way to know.
Here's our list -
Yes - on a behavior plan in 1st grade - Difficulties in adapting to a structured school routine
Yes -Difficulties in Physical Education lessons
Very Very Yes -Slow at dressing. Unable to tie shoe laces
Yes - Barely legible handwriting
Yes - except he was so perfectionistic that he outright refused to do these - Immature drawing and copying skills
Some said yes, some said no, he did eventually get a diagnosis of ADHD-I - Limited concentration and poor listening skills
No - Literal use of language
Huh? You can give 7 year olds 3 instructions at once? I'd be happy to have 1 instruction obeyed. In fact, if I am in a hurry, I must fein relaxation to get DS to do anything. So that means 1 instruction plus a feeling is too overwhelming! - Inability to remember more than two or three instructions at once
No -Slow completion of class work
School thought he ways hyperactive, no doubt about it. - Continued high levels of motor activity
No - Hand flapping or clapping when excited
Compared to what, any of my family members? No. Oh, compared to agemates. Ok - Yes! -Tendency to become easily distressed and emotional
LOL yes! - Problems with co-ordinating a knife and fork
Strong No -Inability to form relationships with other children
LOL again. Strong yes! -Sleeping difficulties, including wakefulness at night and nightmares
Not at home, but at school, Yes! The school nurse was one of his best friends. Ug! Reporting of physical symptoms, such as migraine, headaches, feeling sick.
The OT helps with a lot of this. The book, Transforming the Difficult Child Workbook, helps with a lot of this also. Medication for ADHD-I has been a big help. Time was a great help. 2nd grade was the worst year, and having a teacher who got how smart he was, but didn't know that gifted kids could be behind in other ways sure didn't help.
She slipped in one of our many many meetings and said,with passion "If only he tried, this is baby stuff" and then choked off the words 'baby' stuff. So there is was, an admission that the work was way below what he needed intellectually and an admission that she saw his lack of output as a character flaw issue rather than a disability.
Did he internalize the idea that he was lazy and didn't try hard enough? You bet. Did he internalize that he was 'broken' - you bet. Did we overcome all of it eventually? Absolutely. But it wasn't something I'd want to do again. Being informed and surrounded by support is much better.
Well, that's my story, that's what keeps me hanging around and trying my best to make it easier for other families.
Love and More Love,
Grinity
