ABQMom - I like your advice and it is pretty inline with how we've been raising our kids...it's just hard when I know he could do so much more. Our concern is that everything comes easy to him - and i mean just about everything. I am really hard pressed to think of something that he hasn't been able to just watch and then do...sometimes a video game will make him frustrated - but other than that, it doesn't matter if it's physical or mental, it all comes easy. -And if it doesn't come easy, he doesn't want to do it (which seems to be the case with reading - although, it's not like he struggles with reading, it's just that he might need help with one word, and that means, "I can't any of it - waa! I'm so stupid - waaa!" (We would *never* say that to him - he cam e up with that on his own...) Anyway, my point is that I'm worried that he will go through life never doing more than is expected and not knowing how to handle it when something is presented that he might have to actually work at. My hub. went through life like that and while he is fine and aware of that 'area of improvement', ds has a much more volatile and emotional personality and may not be as well adjusted. that's my biggest concern. And I want to make sure he knows what he is capable of - does that make sense?
-sorry, I have so many things I want to say, that it's all getting jumbled and I'm rambling...it's just so nice to find a website that actually has parents that understand what it's like - it seems like everyone hears the term "gifted" and they think, "oh poor you - you have a smart kid. that must be so hard." If only they knew how challenging it really is...!
I had this same concern for my son, and when it comes to academics, he never struggled despite taking a rigorous load in college. And so I finally had to ask myself what it was that I wanted for him to gain out of struggling (since I was frustrated that he wasn't), and I realized that my goals as his mother were to prepare him for coping with situations that were overwhelming, help him develop a good work ethic, and help him develop characteristics that would make him a valuable employee or boss some day. Academics are just one avenue to learning those traits.
To help him develop the things I thought were important, we found a sport that he liked and also challenged him, required that he get a "grunt" job during high school where intellect wouldn't really be necessary (he bagged groceries), and made sure he participated in philanthropic endeavors. All three helped round out his personality and gave him opportunities to develop traits that I thought were important.
So I guess my perspective is that while it is our job to push our children beyond their comfort zone at times, it isn't always fair to continue pushing out children academically just because we think they should be pushed to the point of struggling in a subject. It doesn't mean they should have a license to be a slacker and play video games for 7 hours after they breeze through homework, but neither should they be given harder and harder work when perhaps they'd rather finish their assigned work and then pursue an area of passion.
Just some thoughts from hindsight about what I wish I'd known 12 years ago.
