Epoh, I think the eval is a very good idea. The full workup will tell you the full picture and probably give you some insight on what to do next. It's especially urgent that you get some help **right away** for the "wanting to die" part-- those words should always be taken seriously.
On paying: talk to the neuropsych's office about this issue. They are likely to know: (1) what billing codes are accepted by your insurance, minimizing any out of pocket costs (2) any county or state funds that can be applied for to offset the cost of evaluation. Some neuropsychs have staff that work very hard to make sure they can serve families that need them.
In our county, there are specific funds for diagnostic work-- i.e. they won't pay for therapy, but they can be drawn on for the eval. Then there's separate money you can apply for that covers some of the therapy, for certain diagnoses.
HTH, hang in there,
DeeDee
