OTGmom,
It needs to be a chore that doesn't involve any thought. You can pull weeds without thinking which leaves your brain free to think about the problem at hand. It's not enough to determine what the issue was, they need to come up with a solution. The weeds just give them a reason to actively think about what's going on.
If you send them to their room they will sleep or listen to music instead of working toward a solution. During the winter they stack firewood. If the problem involves schoolwork or grades, it makes the subtle point that manual labor waits for those that don't use their heads. I can't stress enough the importance of leaving the emotion out of this. If they refuse to weed, all privlege goes away...all of it. No TV, computer, ipod. No friends, phone or fun. Don't get mad about it...remember "It is what it is". Want your fun back? There's the weeds...
If a child is clear that there WILL be a consequence, it becomes easier to comply. Teenagers are lazy, they will take the easiest path.
