I think "Raising Your Spirited Child" by Mary Kurcinka is a great book. It helped me see my DD's qualities in a more positive light. For example, "stubborn" has a negative connotation but "persistent" is positive.
Here is a list from the book:
Negative:Positive
demanding:holds high standards
unpredictable:flexible, spontaneous
loud:enthusiastic
argumentative:assertive
stubborn:persistent
nosy:curious
wild:energetic
extremely emotional:tenderhearted
inflexible:traditional
manipulative:charismatic
impatient:compelling
anxious:cautious
explosive:dramatic
picky:selective
whiny:analytical
distractible:perceptive
It's pretty hard (impossible!) to change your child's personality. But you can work to channel his natural tendencies toward their positive aspects.