I am so glad to have stumbled upon this site tonight. I am getting very worried about school next year for my daughter. She's currently in Kindergarten at the neighborhood public school, and her teacher is one of the best in the district, but she has still complained of being bored.
I hate to think of what next year holds for us, when she is in school a full day instead of the 2.5 hours she's there for now.
She is reading at a mid-second grade level, and her math and writing skills are at the end of first grade. This is all according to the tests my husband has administered to her, and his assessment of her work. He is a second grade teacher. We have not had her formally tested at all yet. My husband was not a gifted child and really does NOT want to deal with the possibility that our daughter might be. He wants her to be "normal" and has brought that up several times. I was a gifted child, and I am terrified that my daughter is going to have the same negative experience in school that I had.
She's very creative and writes imaginative, detailed stories. She's also very sweet and nurturing... too much so, IMO. She tends to be something of a doormat with her classmates. We happen to live close enough to her school that I can actually see the playground when she's at recess, so I can watch her interact without her being aware I'm doing so. I have only done this a couple of times, so hopefully it's a fluke, but I've noticed that she's very much a follower on the playground. The other little girls run around holding hands, and she runs behind them, but they don't seem to include her.
She's very, very tall for her age, which adds to her being "different" (a full foot taller than most of her classmates). She's also an only child, and young for her grade (May birthday), which might also contribute to what I see as the differences between her and her classmates.
She also totally lacks the "killer instinct" that you usually see among little girls. When we take her to the park, any child there is her "friend" in her eyes - she does not differentiate between "friends" and "non-friends" at all. And while I love that she's so willing to be friends with anyone at any time, I think she's headed for a world of hurt on her current path.
In our school district, they don't even start testing for gifted education until second grade, with programs starting in third grade for highly capable students. But the programs are all pull-out programs - they do not have separate classes. And they are very big on "balancing" the classes, meaning they want an equal number of highly capable students, average students and struggling students in each classroom. As far as I'm concerned, that does a disservice to all of the students, but especially to the highly capable students.
I am writing a novel here, but basically I'm in need of some guidance as to what to do here. I don't want to watch as my daughter falls down the black hole, and I feel like that's where we're headed right now. My husband, bless his heart, is indoctrinated in the public school teacher philosophy, and his opinions are influenced by that. He frequently comments about what is best for all of his students, and I have to remind him that I don't care about any other student in his class or in our daughter's class. My concern is what is best for her, and my obligation is solely to her welfare. Sorry if that sounds harsh... I sometimes feel like I'm fighting a battle on all fronts.
Anyway, we've talked to the principal, who basically said that we can't even request a specific teacher for next year, but that her current teacher will assess her and put her in the best classroom for her. I like her teacher, but I don't trust her to put my daughter's needs first over everything else. They balance classes to have an equal number of boys and girls in each, and the balance out ability levels, too, so even if one teacher is better equipped to handle highly capable students, there is no guarantee my daughter will be placed in that classroom.
We've discussed fighting with the school to skip her a grade. This is what I wish my parents had done with me, and in retrospect, my mom wishes she'd done that as well. But I was a December birthday, not a May birthday. I'm not sure skipping would be the best option for our daughter because of her age.
The nearest private school that is geared towards gifted children is a 45 minute drive from us. My husband is pretty adamant against private school in general (being a public school teacher...), but he's especially adamant against taking her so far out of our community and away from the neighborhood children.
Homeschooling isn't really an option for us. My husband is totally against it because she's an only child and he wants her to be in school with her peers. I work from home, so I'd likely be the one doing the homeschooling, and I can't see that working out well. I don't have the teacher gene at all.
So, if you made it through all of that, bless you! If you have been in my shoes, what did you do? Any guidance or suggestions for where to look next would be very, very appreciated. I have a feeling this won't be my last sleepless night wrestling with this subject.
