I hear that you are frustrated and feel like you are spinning in circles. It sounds like you think that homeschooling would be a good educational placement for your AS child in many ways, but you can't seem to figure out the logistics of how to make it work for your family.

I do want to point out that you don't have to homeschool both children just because you homeschool one. I know a lot of families who have one or two children homeschooling and one or two others in public or private, because the children need different things. We had one child in public school (at her request) and one child at home for three years. It worked out fine.

I also want to mention that homeschooling doesn't generally take up the same amount of time each day that public school does, because all of the time that is spent on logistics such as changing classes, handing in and passing out homework and tests, going over material that some kids are having trouble with but others aren't, etc. doesn't happen in homeschool.

There is also no law that says that instructional time has to happen between 8am and 3 pm. As long as your son has someplace safe and appropriate to be during the day, he can do "school" any time that it is convenient for your family. My husband and I both worked for part of the time that we have been homeschooling. We managed to arrange our schedules so that we could "tag team" most of the time, and filled in as needed with grandparents, friends, etc. so that our son was always with someone who "got" him, and we both did academics with him when we weren't working. I would further point out that, if your child reads well, much of what teachers provide in elementary grades is essentially babysitting services, so you don't have to feel guilty if you can't find a way to provide direct in-person academic instruction for 7 hours a day.

There is an incredible wealth of resources for homeschooling available for free or at very low cost online and through libraries, and we have never relied on homeschooling groups for instructional support, so we never worried about what other people were teaching. The public schools around here have their fair share of Young Earth evangelicals in instructional roles, so homeschooling actually helps us avoid this. If you don't know of any inclusive or secular homeschool groups in your area, it is pretty easy to start one using Yahoo! groups and the public library as jumping-off points. You say:

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I have asked around and around and around and I cannot find a school here that gets high marks for Asperger kids. Most parents and students are dissatisfied and many are homeschooling.

It sounds like others have already done your research for you, and found that there really isn't a lot in your area for someone like your son. This is either grounds for a class action suit against the district, or a signal to stop beating your head against a brick wall, depending on your level of energy and crusadership. It also sounds like these people might be a place to start in terms of finding homeschooling support in your area, if that is something that you decide to pursue.

Of course, you need to do what works for your family as a whole, and that balance can be the most difficult thing to figure out, particularly since it is generally a moving target. BTDT.

I wish you the best of luck in your quest.