Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Death Threats in Public School-Homeschoolers HELP!

Toxic is right. I thought because he is an only child that he needed to be around kids for socialization. But upon reading some blogs about children who are bullied at school, so-called "negative socialization" can actually be experienced by kids that are different. I suppose since DS is such a soft heart and nice to others, I naively thought he would avoid that.


I do have a special art that I want to share with him now that he's old enough. I think that having him home will free up considerable time to train him in that art. That makes me REALLY happy.


He loves anything to do with computers and the iPad. I think he would enjoy learning how to write code during his down time, but if he does cyber-schooling, I don't know if I would be thrilled with more screen time!

My child homeschooled 1st through 4th grade and there was a younger sibling aged 1-4. Not sure of your child’s age but we instituted after lunch quiet hour. No one had to take a nap (I certainly did most of the time) but there was no noise and everyone had to retreat to their own room. Reading, quiet play, napping were all acceptable—nothing electronic. I set the timer on the stove for an hour (sometimes if they weren’t watching I would set it for an hour and a half). Omg the joy of one hour of no one talking to me....recharged me for the rest of the day.

Also, in my area we did twice a week homeschool PE. We did one through parks and rec. and we did one gymnastics one at a gymnastics gym. Oh, we also did one kid fit program at my health club. Look around for programs in various places (parks and rec, health clubs, ymca, libraries). One city over had PE, art programs, and science nature programs weekly for homeschool students through the parks and rec department. Museums, science centers, libraries are all good places to look for programs.

Along with all the excellent suggestions and support above, I suggest that you implement music lessons and martial arts into his schedule for multiple reasons - his own enrichment as well as decompression time and a break for you. For music lessons, if he is old enough to handle his daily practice with just a little oversight from you, that could be time that you spend on your own. Many music teachers are so busy in the evenings when public schools let out - so, it would be very easy for you to get a great teacher because of the flexible schedule that you will have.

And martial arts is not only an excellent sport, it is also great in instilling self-confidence and self-esteem. You can either drop your son off at martial arts or you can join him in the classes.

I think that you can incorporate a lot of such activities in his schedule to make time for you to decompress, get alone time and also to do things with your son if you would like to.

Everyone has covered the "homeschooling" angle but what have been done for his HSC? The home schooling and online schooling just for me seems to put off your child's problem. I am not trying to be insensitive if it comes out that way.

Do you mean it puts off his ability to deal with escalating bullying and a death threat? How many adults would appreciate being forced to endure an environment like that? They wouldn't. They would get a divorce, find a new job, move out of an apartment building, etc. Sure, some would get a restraining order, but if the perp continued to violate it, and the police said they can't do anything about it until he commits bodily harm, what would the rational response be? To leave the situation.

It's ironic that the school's walls are plastered with colorful anti-bullying posters and yet it continues with teachers looking the other way. The Sheriff also told us that he couldn't do any more than talk to the kids and write a report. A crime hadn't been committed. Yet.

So, while you may not mean to be insensitive, your thought that I should continue to place my child in that environment day after day and tell him he needs to "deal with it" would be taken as very insensitive to his need for understanding and above all, his need for us to be his safety advocate.

Is it any wonder kids feel the need to bring weapons to school for protection when the adults in their lives refuse to protect them?

I did not see nicoledad's post recommending that you place your child in danger. I understood the post to be gently questioning why you did not ask other parents on the forum what action(s) you might take to help a Highly Sensitive Child (HSC) learn better ways to manage himself, deal with disappointment, etc, which in turn may avoid situations such as A child crying in public* at age 10 is a problem to be addressed. Have you talked with him about what he feels before he cries and what other actions he might choose to take to express his feelings and remedy the situation? For example, if the class is coloring and someone took a crayon color he wanted to use, does he cry? Does he choose to color another part of his picture and ask to have the desired crayon next? If the teacher calls on him and he wasn't paying attention, does he cry? Etc.

* there are a limited number of situations under which a person may be given a pass for crying in public. Death of a parent, sibling, close friend, possibly even a pet are some examples. Sudden severe injury/pain may be another.

This line of thinking is problematic: call it revenge or retaliation, it is wrong. There is no extenuating circumstance which makes it OK to justify this.

People need to learn to handle disappointment without losing their composure or lashing out at others. Learning to anticipate the likely consequences of one's actions is key to conducting one's self appropriately. Many people learn by observing those around them (as if by osmosis) and others may need or benefit from direct teaching, counseling, therapy, etc.

Escalation to violence of any type is not acceptable. Use of weapons of any type is a course of action which does not resolve a person's bitter feelings but rather results in further social isolation.

Indigo. You are correct. My intent was never meant to put a child in danger. I also agree with both of your responses

I did not take that quote as justifying violence. The poster may have been saying that they are intervening where the school failed to — which does model an acceptable way to get out of a very dire situation (without using violence).

THIS is a parent describing intervening where the school failed to:
THIS does not model an acceptable way to get out of a very dire situation (without using violence):
The phrase "Is it any wonder..." is typically used to justify, support, side with, show understanding and empathy for... whatever follows that phrase.
In the specific case at hand... justifying a child bringing a weapon to school.
Not OK.