Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion sigh: update

So, we just had our parent-teacher conference with DS5's K teacher. She is working as hard as she can to differentiate for him in the classroom. But she was basically quite blunt, while also being a lovely, sweet young teacher. What she said was, "He doesn't need to be in kindergarten." I basically found myself politely arguing with her about why we think he should be in K (we had not been looking for a skip).

At the same time, she made it clear that we have little hope of a skip due to the principal at this school. Note that I barely know the principal, so I can't really say anything one way or the other. But it was obvious that she believed it would be nearly impossible. She has also obviously been talking to many other teachers about him, as their opinions were discussed as well.

We have really hesitated over a skip because, as I have said elsewhere, that would mean he would enter the gifted magnet next year, where expectations are quite high. This teacher does not really know what things are like at the magnet because she teaches gen education kids. But she is making it very clear that she feels he does not belong in his assigned grade.

She IS working to send him to 1st for some of the day. Apparently this is not going to be easy, but she feels he needs it. She warned me that the admin does not want to do this and told me we needed to push for it, so I have sent my email. We will see.

I don't know what I am asking for here. I feel a little sad and confused. Basically I have felt like things were okay because this teacher is so great and is trying so hard. (She is buying stuff out of her own pocket for DS!) DS is not unhappy, although we do hear the occasional complaint. But the take-home seemed to be, "This is not enough. He shouldn't be here. But there is no solution that I can really see."

Note--I have no IQ or achievement numbers for DS.

It sounds like she's really trying to help.

Oh, she is! Don't get me wrong. She is wonderful.

So on the one hand, there is my fear that next year's teacher will NOT be amazing like this one. And we KNOW from pre-K that DS can seriously fall apart if school is not working for him.

But on the other hand, skipping does freak me out. My instinct is that DS is a high 130s/low 140s kid. Not DYS. In a different school system I would skip him. But due to where we live, our kids do have the option of entering into a self-contained completely GT/accelerated system for the rest of their school years starting in grade 2. The level of work is not necessarily so hard, but the AMOUNT of work is massive. It has been tough on my motivated, hard-working age-appropriate girl with excellent writing skills. Developmentally, it really might be a mistake for him. So, I guess I have been thinking that the risks of skipping outweigh the possible benefits. Then again, I have a teacher basically waving a sign in my face that says SKIP. When does that even happen?

I guess what I really need to do is get him tested and get the IAS. He will be IQ tested at the END of K by the school.

It sounds like she might be reaching the end of what she can do for him. Can you have him tested privately, and then move him to 1st grade mid-year if needed? That would give him more time in the "regular" school program before he entered the gifted program.

Maybe even have him spend most of his day in a first grade classroom before doing it officially to see how it goes? First grade is more challenging even if children know a lot (or all) of the material just because it has a lot more writing and worksheets than K, and of course the reading is at a higher level. One of my sons wouldn't have been ready for a grade skip from K to 2nd based on his writing ability alone, regardless of his knowledge, achievement test scores, or IQ. Even he says he is not ready to skip although he doesn't feel he is learning anything new. (His twin was campaigning for a grade skip this summer and they discussed it with each other a few times.)

I'm sorry - this sounds like a really tough decision.

Interestingly, his writing skills seem to be really impressing her, although I would say that is his weakest area. In fact, she specifically wants to send him to 1st for writing. He has been working on writing stories independently in a story journal, and she told me she has been showing the journal to other teachers. She said they told her he is probably above the level of their most competent 1st graders. I am surprised by this--he still forgets to capitalize sometimes, for instance, and is not always fully legible-- but achievement is relatively low in the gen ed section of the school.

I thought about testing privately but we really don't have the $$ for that right now. It seems a little nutty, given that we know the school will test him this year. But if we could try getting him into 1st more of the time, that could be good. The thing is, there is just such a gulf between the expectations in the gen ed program and the magnet. There is no way around it.

Ultra, what if you send him to 1st now, and then evaluate proper placement with the gifted magnet later? It's hard to plan ahead for a kid like this, but I'd think that getting him what he needs now is a good start.

DeeDee

You mean, possibly send him to 1st now and then 1st again next year?

I HATE the idea of losing this teacher. It seriously makes me want to cry.

My guess is that he'll probably test higher than you think. But even if he doesn't, a child doesn't need to be DYS level to need/warrant a skip or some acceleration.

At any rate, you'll have more information once you have the IQ info and the IAS done. Then you can weigh everything again. Also, one of the biggest components is would your ds want to skip?

I don't know if he would want to skip. I don't think he would understand how to weigh in on that yet.

His sister tested MG, so that is part of why I don't think he will test super-duper high. The full-day gifted program is working for her. Could it be better? Yes, but it is working, and I no longer worry a lot about school for her.


The issue is that the IQ testing will not be done till year end. His teacher seems to be saying that she is feeling like things are just not right for him now...in October. If we can get him to 1st part-time, it may work. The other concern is that she was clearly letting me know that a skip would be a huge fight.