I had a heart to heart with my DS5 and we listed his rights (what we as parents must provide such as food, shelter, etc.), responsibilities (obey parents, don't hit, be respectful), and his privileges (long, long, list).
When he realized that he "only has to do 3 things to get 20+ privileges" it helped. Now when he falls short on his responsibilities, he loses a privilege from the list for a period of time. It is on scratch paper on his bulletin board.
I have a friend who took this concept a step further for a teenager by adding legal language "Whereas..." and making into a contract that the parent and child signed. Her list of privileges is hilarious including such things as brand name shampoo and text messaging service on the cell phone.
