Hi, Mom0405,
For a long time, we kept three lists on the fridge (they have been displaced by the boys' artwork, but I may move some more of that to the walls so I can put the lists back up again).
My lists were kind of hokey, but the kids liked them, and so did I. They were called "Gratitude is the Attitude!" (everybody, grownups included, had to write down something for which they were grateful every day), "I did something Nice for someone today!" (each of us had to write down one thing we had done each day which we thought had been specially kind or helpful), and "I love my family!" (we each wrote something we particularly appreciated about at least one other member of the family on that day).
This kind of stuff seems to work better for us at our house than saying "no" (which is certainly my default setting--hence the lists! I was trying to pull up my own socks, as much as theirs.) There's been more bickering around here lately than usual (lots of stress, with two sick grandparents), so I think I'll put my lists up again, and see if it helps!
peace
minnie
