We are at the end of my son's first week in kindergarten and I've already been summoned to a meeting with the teachers. I would appreciate some advice in following up with them.
The teachers (there are two because he's at a private school) sent out a questionnaire before school started and we let them know that he was introverted and gifted with slower processing speed and that he preferred to observe initially and doesn't do well in noisy/chaotic situations. The teachers followed up two days ago asking if we had any insight/advice about encouraging our son to participate more in group activities. They suggested we talk in person so I met with them today. I felt the teachers were open and welcome additional ideas or feedback but I don't know what to tell them. I was hoping to get some feedback here, especially if your child was similar in kindergarten.
Here is what the teachers described to us. First, the kids were asked to draw their "hopes and dreams for kindergarten." All the other kids drew lovely, colorful pictures that had captions like "make friends" or "have fun" on them. My son's first attempt was two or three black lines on a piece of paper. The teachers pulled him aside during a rest period to work with him one on one and said they saw that he was "brilliant." He drew a machine and told them his detailed plans for a salt harvester that he intends to build this year. It included a description of the components and the various uses of the machine. He didn't write this out (he hates to draw and write) but the teachers wrote his words under his picture. They posted the pieces outside the classroom and said all the teachers and staff had come by to comment on my son's piece because it was so unusual. The teachers acknowledged that my son is bright and creative but weren't sure how to encourage him to produce work with the group.
I asked my son about this and he said he couldn't think anything up initially and then he started and messed up and got frustrated and gave up. I will note that he is a perfectionist and that he doesn't enjoy writing or drawing.
The teachers told us about another experience with a similar project. The kids walked around their new school, finding shapes. Then they came back and drew the shapes they saw. The other kids all covered their paper with lots of nice, neat little shapes. My son drew a green scribble. I asked him about this and he said he wanted to draw a shape nobody else was doing and he tried to create a "really complex, unusual four-sided shape and I messed it up so I scribbled it out." I explained that the object wasn't to draw something nobody else had thought of, but rather to show that he knows his shapes and can reproduce them. He didn't realize this. My husband finds this funny and said he was the same as a child.
Here is what I think is going on: my son has some anxiety and that he is still settling in. He is an introvert and takes a while to become comfortable in a new setting. He is going from four hours a day in preschool to an eight hour day at a new school. He hasn't been eating much and comes home tired and starving. (I told his teachers he hadn't been eating so they checked today and he ate more and was much more cooperative). I also think he doesn't understand exactly what the expectations are. He came from a Reggio preschool that is very play based and the children never did crafts where they were expected to produce a certain kind of art. They were allowed total freedom to express themselves (or not) with art materials. I think my son hasn't been in a situation where he is expected to produce a specific thing and that once he learns those expectations he will do better. I told my son that he doesn't have to draw well or make a perfect triangle, but we do expect him to participate and try and that scribbling isn't really acceptable.
Was this the right approach? Am I missing something? I'm writing to see if anything here sounds familiar or if you have any ideas about what might encourage my son to cooperate/participate better. Anecdotes and encouragement welcome, too! Thank you!
