I just came in to grab a piece of advice, but I will stay for this one!
Obviously all our kids are different even though they may show some of the same traits. You know your child best.
We have struggled for 4 years (ours turned 8 last week), trying to figure out what is up and we are just now getting to the diagnosis she needs in school, which is "disorder of written expression." It took us 4 years to get here, and that is despite the fact that my husband has dysgraphia himself! Nobody ever pointed to that before because she can sometimes write neatly. But, honestly, first graders don't have much to write--and they don't have to think and write much at the same time. Her writing looks like a lower than average boy's writing. What it looks like is not the problem.
She sounds a lot like yours too--and absolutely in no way, shape or form has autism, although she does have share some characteristics with autistic children. They are also characteristics of anxiety, embarrassment, loneliness and shame.
Our first neuropsych (at 4) did not catch the problems of DCD and dysgraphia. In fact, he told us her IQ would probably go down. We believed him. He did some fine motor tests (pegboard) that she did terribly on and others (Beery) that she did okay on. Whenever her writing is tested by OTs, she does fine on everything but copying a block pattern. We continued taking her to specialists that weren't that helpful. Finally DCD was diagnosed by an OT (which was a no brainer for us). Dysgrapha or diagnosis of written expression was never a concern of anyone's (except ours).
A couple of months ago (at almost age 8) we took her to a psychologist who specializes in gifted kids, who showed me the serious difference between her processing speed/coding score and other elements of her IQ. Now that the numbers are there, people can see the problem--even though her writing still just looks like bottom of the class (but acceptable) writing.
I'm not saying that your child has DCD or dysgraphia. But I do wonder if a second opinion so quickly will give you the information you need. Sometimes I do think you need a wait--and if your gut tells you it is something other than autism, maybe it is. We discussed the possibility of autism (dr. said no) and the even more possible NVLD (dr. said possibility), but neither ever rang true to me, mainly because she is such an incredibly flexible thinker. What rang true to me was "motor planning or executive function, but she's got something." Dysgraphia also rang true to me, even though she doesn't have a lot of the symptoms.
The only other thing I would say, is that I would be wary of saying what is acceptable and what is not acceptable. My daughter is now in 2nd, and she still draws those squares while everyone else makes beautiful, labeled pictures. Drawing is not something she does well, and we are figuring out how to help her cope with it. But she has been told for many years by many people that it is not acceptable not to try--and because the whole time she feels like she has been trying, she doesn't really understand what trying means. To her it means "I will succeed." So she will tell us she will TRY to try. She's become very ashamed of writing and drawing over the years because the adults don't think she's trying and she's learned that her trying isn't really trying because it's not good enough for them. Does that make sense?
Anyway, this is not to make any predictions about your child. This has just been our journey.
It sounds like your teachers care a lot. That's great! I am finding that most teachers do not understand the dysgraphia/really verbally bright kid combination--even the ones who care. But honestly, I don't think WE even truly understand what it is like to be her, and we've been living with it ourselves for decades!
