The psychologist my son works with specializes in autism and giftedness (along with anxiety disorders and adhd). She did her dissertation on the topic and spent years working in an autism assessment clinic. Her practice focuses on working on social skills with kids who have ASD and/or who are gifted. So I trust that she has the right experience. She has also spent a lot of time with my son in various settings. She is confident it's not autism and has said that doing a full evaluation would be a waste of our time and money.
My son is getting help with social skills because his preschool said he could use some support. When he turned four his preschool teachers said that while he does fine one-on-one, he didn't play with the whole group at school. He is also sensitive to noise. They said he could use some extra help with social skills before starting kindergarten. We went to the psychologist and after evaluating my son and observing him at school, she concluded that he was just just "exceptionally bright" and that he wasn't connecting with the kids at school because he didn't have any peers and was talking about physics and engineering concepts that were over the kids' (and teachers') heads. He was also acting out in the classroom because he was bored. The psychologist recommended sending him to a gifted school and predicted that he would do fine socially if he was with other gifted kids. Since then he has met a couple of other gifted kids (through the group) and he has developed a strong connection with them. The psychologist feels that my son doesn't need the social skills support any longer but that we should continue through the first quarter of school to provide him with any needed support during the transition.
That said, my son is quirky and I often think we are missing something. He's such a unique kid and most people he meets are instantly aware of that and they often comment on it. After particularly difficult weeks, I have often met with the psychologist and asked if she's SURE he doesn't have ASD and she's pretty confident. She has said that he may have some other kind of learning disability that will become apparent once he starts school but she doesn't see signs of anything yet.
I'm not sure why, exactly she has ruled out ASD. From our last conversation about it (I bring it up every six months or so, after having a hard week), I seem to recall that she was considering the fact that my son is flexible and tends to like new experiences; that he doesn't have narrow interests; that he is interested in social relationships, is empathic (perhaps excessively so), is good at understanding others' perspectives and shows pro-social behavior, even if he is socially awkward.
If you were me, would you still seek a second opinion? Or would you just wait and see how school goes?
FWIW, the psychologist who did the IQ testing was annoyed with my son because he kept kicking her pant leg during the test (he often swings his leg and kicks the table so I've experienced this before). He picked up on this and thought she was angry because he didn't know an answer to the test. I know this because when we talked, months after the test, she made it clear that she was still annoyed by the memory of that test.
