I think much of that is a grey area Val.
DD is not a bad eater when it comes to fruits and veggies. I give her blended fruit every morning and make her drink it. It is a fight every day. But I will not let her go through life eating croissants with cream cheese, which is her choice. She can actually have that if she finishes her fruit and eats a bowl of yogurt. I force her to have her nutrition and then she can have crap.
Her chosen exercise is dance and she takes dance 3 times a week in a serious program. I expect her to integrate dance into her life as a life long habit of regular exercise.
She is rarely sick, she is strong and active and I think this is my role as a parent, though I push her hard to get her nutrition.
Just like I push her in some other ways. She was in Russian music school and although she has serious talent and did a concert at Merkin Hall at 7, it was too much. I let it slide, but not drop. She hated piano, but I paid for lessons once a week, didn't push the practice but kept a thread going. After almost 2 years, and now with a Jazz teacher who is easing her along, she sits at the piano, composes, seriously composes, says she is really liking piano again.
If I had let her quit totally, sold the piano, she would more than likely never found her way back. As her parent, I knew she had a serious talent and felt a responsibility to try and nuture it back into something she loved. I admit the Tiger Mom was misguided by the Russian school that told me that she was this prodigy and classical training was the way to go so she could play Tchaikovsky at 7 well enough that people would pay for the tickets. She did love the performance part of sitting behind this massive grand piano in the concert hall but the practice was way too intense for her at that age.
It was my decision to think keeping the piano alive until she could enjoy it again. It is my decision to make her consume fruit everyday to keep herself healthy. And I taught her to step off a 150 ft bridge. That was one of the better choices I made I think. Although I had a heart attack on the way down, before the rope swung out, and she was scared out of her mind too but was so happy after that she did it. You can train your kid like a seal but they also have to be able to go out there and take risk to succeed. And I think that is the bigger problem. Opportunities do not knock on your door very often.