I've probably documented the difficulties we've had with DS's art teacher, but today we decided to pull him from the class. He'll do art at home with my wife.

The art teacher is rigid and inflexible (the irony there is overwhelming). DS was bored today, was walking around talking to other kids, and the art teacher told him to sit in his seat. He refused (the two of them have a history), so she called the office and DS got an earful from the assistant principal.

I cannot justify DS's non-compliance, but we just had an IEP meeting one week ago in which we discussed alternative ways of dealing with DS when he resists following directions. She could have engaged him in something else or let him read a book. Instead, she entered into a battle of egos with a 12yo.

Anyway, this will be our first shot at homeschooling. Luckily art is last period, so my wife can just pick him up early.

My frustration with our school mounts.

I'm impressed that your school is letting your DS drop art and let him be picked up early. Hopefully that will make everyone happier. Crazy to have art be a stressful class. In my district you could probably drop art but would need to replace it with a different elective. They are really sticklers that ALL students have to be there the entire day until they are at least juniors in H.S.

I can't figure out why the rigidity in art class? My older DD took a basic art class in H.S. and she hated it because according to her the teacher "treated them like Kindergartners".

BSM, I'm glad you have a workable solution and hope it relieves stress for your family!

DS has not enjoyed art since he left the Montessori school he was in -- although the teachers seem nice, there seems to be a lot of emphasis on doing things a certain way. When that doesn't work for him (usually because he can't do it perfectly as some classmates can), he feels badly. He's pretty much given up on art. At 9.

I hate that that has happened to your kids BSM and ConnectingDots… I have a degree in art and my son is very talented at drawing. A lot of people have suggested I put him into art classes, but I won't unless he asks me to. Art is a wonderful outlet, and putting too much pressure on it (just like on a hose) stops the flow of creativity. We had a wonderful art teacher at our school, but she retired last year, and the new teacher is not liked by the kids..

Thank you! We're not putting any pressure on him at all with it. It's a shame, as this is the same kid who loved to create all sorts of abstract, very beautifully colored art when he was younger. Our hope is that he will pick it back up again sometime. He likes the teacher, but has looked at the work others create and decided his "stinks."

Sorry this happened. DS here had a horrible art teacher last year who had no compassion and said, "I ask that he be treated no differently than others" when DS was in bad shape and I asked for help (nothing major--preferential seating) while waiting for psychiatrist appointment. I thought it was ironic for an art teacher to be so uptight, too.

I have a personal working hypothesis about how soul-sucking it must be for an artist to teach middle school students, and a less generous one along the lines of "those who can't do [fill in blank]."

Glad you removed DS--in some cases, life is just too short.

How is DS doing, otherwise?

Ugh, we've had DD's art thrown out by a teacher and done again to make it "right" which goes against everything I feel art to be. It's not art if you're just making yours look exactly like the example. It's forgery
And don't even get me started on what they consider good writing, where every second word must be an adjective

That's just awful, AvoCado. Hurtful--I still remember a similar incident that happened to me in kindergarten, over 40 years ago! People need to stop and think about how vulnerable kids are. Even the nonconformist or noncompliant ones.

BSM--I saw a quote on FB recently, "Your child is not giving you a hard time--he's having a hard time." Another variation--your child is not a problem, but has a problem. Or the old standby: Children need our love most when they deserve it the least.

I know that's kind of schmaltzy stuff, but it would be nice to feel like the adults have better skills in place than the kids, wouldn't it? On a most practical level, this would be a good model of problem-solving for our kids when their coping skills aren't equal to their emotions.

You know, I think you ought to talk to him about the Impressionists. The Salon wouldn't give them the time of day because they weren't doing what The Salon thought was "Art" so they started their own little club and look at how that turned out… the Fauves were called the Fauves because the critics said their art was like art done by "wild beasts."

In his lifetime, Vincent Van Gogh created 900 paintings and made 1,100 drawings and sketches, but only sold one painting during his career. So your DS shouldn't compare his work to his contemporaries, it means nothing So it sounds like it's less about the teacher and he's just having a rough bit with perfectionism. Maybe the teacher, since he likes her, could work with him on that?

Our state allows homeschooling on a class by class basis. We've considered something like this before for other classes, but with art is has become a no brainer.

And he doesn't mind doing art projects. He's not in love with it but he'll do it. Last year he liked the teacher and enjoyed art. This year the teacher is new and very inflexible.

That is so sad and we've heard the same from DS. When school ruins a kid's interest in a topic, it really makes me wonder why we bother with it at all.

Ok. Overall, better than a couple of weeks ago, but we're sort of waiting for the other shoe to drop. PTSD you know?

We're still waiting to see what the district proposes in terms of editing his IEP. In the mean time he's doing well in his academic classes.

I think he's still in a fragile state and could easily go off the rails. One of the observations I've made (and I think I've mentioned this before) is that he gets very stressed when assignments are vague or confusing. The school knows about this and hopefully will be working to avoid those situations. But I'm not holding my breath....

It is a good strategy that I try to use with adults too. Being a parent of a 2e kid has taught me a lot.

But yeah, our school is not equipped for compassion apparently, just discipline.

What do you think set him off in the art class?

Does he actively or passively refuse to comply?

As my DS becomes a little more aware of his process--we've made some helpful discoveries:

He does not do as well in unstructured classes. This year it's more an academic issue (he needs explicit systems to hand in work), but last year it was behavioral. In a class where it is sometimes okay to mill about and socialize, and sometimes not..."time and place" did not compute. He's improving in this and it's because of explicit instruction and also his new (self-chosen) default of "when in doubt, sit down and shut up."

As an aside: I had a revealing conversation with a teenager, yesterday, who has significant anxiety--primarily the social type. She is more of the shy/retiring type but she explained to me that it is very confusing and upsetting when teachers have "pets" who can do no wrong, but there are other students in the class who are called out for behaviors everyone else is doing, also. She isn't one who is in trouble (she's quiet) but the inconsistency increases her anxiety, and she feels sorry for the kids whom the teacher appears to have targeted.

I don't know if any of that applies, and I know you want your DS to learn to manage his behavior better and not be so triggered in these situations. That's obviously an appropriate goal for him, learning to be more flexible and regulate emotions better.

It seems like it would be important to identify what the antecedent is in this situation. FWIW, I think it's fine to pull him since you have a workable solution and bigger fish to fry than an inflexible/inexperienced teacher's inability or unwillingness to consider his unique situation.

Not sure any of this makes sense--still working on the coffee.

Thought of something (IEP related). Has your DS had an FBA? If not, I'd request that. Of course, I did request that for my DS and was flatly denied. It seems to me it would be difficult for your son's school to refuse, how could they justify that?

I'm not 100% sure but I think it was a combination of boredom, and his history with this teacher. They have been at odds all year, as she is strict, swift to discipline, and he has difficulty in those situations. Both myself and my wife have spoken to her on multiple occasions, but she does not seem to view DS as having a disability or skills issues.

DS will actively refuse to comply. He has problems with anyone telling him what to do, especially if it is in the form of an order or command. He will take direction when it is gently given and he feels like he's being treated as an equal.

I may try some role-playing with him this weekend to see if we can get him to follow faux-commands in a safe setting. A poor man's CBT if you will...

He has had an FBA, and it does a reasonable job of characterizing his issues, but I'm not sure if anyone at the school has looked at it recently.

There is certainly some perfectionism at play. In the sense of judging himself lacking versus his more apt (in these projects) classmates. We talked the teacher last year, when he was actively unhappy with the class and she assured us she talks about how everyone has their own style, etc... Hmm. Something didn't compute for him.

Great examples, thank you. We have a book or two on those artists and will share them with him. I did notice some robot or alien drawings on his desk this morning, so perhaps he's just going undercover. ;-)

Since we haven't had this, I don't fully understand it--but isn't the whole point to figure out alternate ways of dealing with undesirable behaviors? Maybe school needs a refresher.

In FL the districts I have taught in or been a parent in have had two parts...the FABA...the assessment piece. And the BIP...the behavior intervention plan. And it is ongoing...you assess, you plan, you implement, you evaluate implementation and results ....if everyone is happy you keep status quo ...if new things pop up you start over again....but in addition to the intervention usually there is an additional teaching component of some sort of skill that is lacking.

But it isn't a one time event

As far as I know, the FBA is just a way of trying to figure out the antecedents to his behavior. It is an FYI for the teachers and staff, assuming they actually read it. It is also a recipe for his ongoing therapy at school, which is probably helping to a small extent.

So are you saying you had the FBA but no formal behavioral plan? I thought the point was to develop a plan. A plan customized for the child when the "usual and customary" systems aren't working. I don't know a lot about it, but why even bother with FBA if they don't use the information to help the child learn better skills?

I should have added that there is a BIP as well. My concern with both of these is that they have not been followed, and probably need to be updated. Our recent IEP meeting was a triage and we ran out of time before we discussed the FBA and BIP, though there was some agreement that should probably impact the BIP. Right now we're waiting for the edits to the IEP, and we'll take it from there.

An update.

Heard this from another 2e parent who is a trusted source, though I may have missed some of the nuances since the info is secondhand...the art teacher that DS fought with until we pulled him has stated she treats the disabled kids in our program (a magnate program for profoundly gifted children) is if they were mentally disabled - she made an analogy to Downs Syndrome.

This is not a good thing, but explains a lot. In any case, we've already decided that we'll proactively homeschool him in art next year if she is going to be the teacher.