My DD is 2years and 8 months and can read sentences now. She was ready to read five months ago I intentionally delayed it. But can't do that anymore she opens a book and starts sounding them. So I had to get her bob books. She can read them very easily. She thinks reading is play.

I am excited that my daughter can read and understand addition and subtraction etc etc etc... I am worried at the same time. I don't want her to skip grade when she is in school and be with older kids. Socializing skills and intelligence are two different things I think.

What do you think? This question bothers me a lot.

Sounds like how I was with my DD. I delayed her quite a lot just because she wasn't "supposed" to be reading at 2yrs. But she kept teaching herself and I finally realized it's what she needs. She thrives on it.

The school factor is a huge issue.. with a lot of people. However, it may not be as bad as you would at first think. If your daughter is advanced in many more areas than just reading then older kids may actually be the right peer group for her. My 3 year old gravitates to 5 & 6 year olds... she knows they are her equals.

How do you delay reading in a child who has taught herself?

I think that means... you don't encourage it and you don't help knowing helping would advance their reading skills considerably.

How could you not? You could hide all the books but she would start reading labels! Seriously, gifted children "crave" knowledge and is just a neccessity as food, water and love.

And about grade skipping later on, my daughter has been held with her age mate peers for years and is miserable. Finally, got the word, she will be skipping next year. She is very excited. But you still have years to worry about that one.

How could you know that?

If "discouraging" means not teaching, then I think discouraging is a great idea at 2. If "discouraging" means removing books or scolding, then I think it's an awful idea at any age. If "encouraging" means reading to a child, and listening to a child read when the child wants to, I think it's a great idea at any age. If "encouraging" means explicit, parent-directed teaching, I think it's a terrible idea at 2. JMHO.

I think you should try to keep an open mind and remember that whatever accommodations your DD may need in school, they aren't going to be because of something you did or didn't do at 2. If she is going to need a grade skip, no amount of holding back is going to prevent it. If she isn't, no amount of pushing will cause it.

That's good to hear. That means their emotional abilities will be advanced too right ? Did anybody have an experinence where you thought your child was not emotionaly mature enough to be with older kids though she or he was very intelligent?

The rate at which my DD is going right now I think she will be very advanced by the time she gets to first grade. Do the private schools give some kind of scholarships? I just want to know this for the sake of information.

She is who she is.

What you fear for her is not what she will come to fear.

Right now she does not know or think that she has to associate with age peers. When she has nothing in common with them, but comes to feel guilt because she cannot please you, then she may have a fear that she does not have now.

Here is a short article on peers.

http://www.dukegiftedletter.com/articles/vol4no1_feature.html



I recommend Dr Ruf's book as a starting point.

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Losing-Our-Minds/Deborah-L-Ruf/e/9780910707701

Our son at 26 months is a lot like your DD. We just take one day at a time. He is who he is.

You are in a great position knowning this so early. I didn't really know our situation until 2nd grade.

My suggestion is read everthing you can on the Davidson website and their book "Genius denied". Start looking into schools. I was very unfamiliar with gifted and thought this school has a gifted program we are set. You would benefit from looking at private, charter, gifted, homeschooling, public and montessorri. It's much better to learn what is available ahead of the need.

A few things I learned:

My PG child learns with 1 to 2 repetions, while average student learns at 7 to 9. This can make it very boring for a eager learner.

If they don't pretest your child may be taught daily what they already know, even in a gifted program.

Most teachers don't understand gifted needs and teach to the average child.

If you need help with anything just ask here. There is lots of experience. Enjoy this time with your little one and try not to worry. YOu will find a way.

To me... "encouraging" means showing her how to decode words or how to blend... either verbally or using something like a chalk board. When my DD was 2 I knew that all I had to do was show it to her and she'd have understood. I didn't. I was too worried about the whole "hothousing" issue. I read to her and would tell her what a word was if she asked but I didn't do anything else. I waited until she figured it out for herself... or in her case... watched a Leap Frog video and was shown from that. The first time she was shown how to blend from the video.. the light bulb went off and she took off from there.

What that told me was that if they're ready to learn... they're ready to learn... regardless of their age. I "discouraged" her by deliberately not showing her although I knew she would grasp it easily. If I had shown her... then she would have been reading at a higher level much earlier. Would it have mattered in the long run? No. But it would have mattered to her and it would have put a stop to all the frustration she experienced because she wanted to be able to read everything. Once she grasped the concept of blending it's like her soul was lit up (forgive the cheesy line) and she gobbled up anything I could tell her or show her.

Is it teaching? Yes but only in the sense of everyday teaching such as "Look Honey, that's a dog. Dogs bark to say hello."

but instead its...

"That's the word CAT. You say the sound the letters make to read it. Kuh-a-t. Now put an H in front and it says huh-a-t HAT"

I think I was silly not to have shown her. It wouldn't have hurt her.

I have come to believe... that in some cases... teaching reading or math or any other academic subject is no different than teaching a kid about butterflies because they have an interest in it.

(As long as they are totally into it of course!)

The way I look at it (the way I did look at it when my DS was that age, and the way I still look at it with hindsight) is this. If she were going to school in a few months from now, then maybe, by not encouraging her (e.g., by not having time to listen to her read and help her with words she's stuck on) you might be able to stop her being able to read fluently before she starts school. And there might be some advantage to doing that: you might save her a little boredom that way. There'd also be disadvantage to it of course, and I don't know how it'd balance. However, you're not in that situation. She's 2 and reading sentences: whatever you do, short of locking in her a cupboard for the next three years with no written words, she's going to be reading fluently before she starts school. So whatever you do, she's going to need accommodations when she starts school, or she's going to be bored. Once you're in that state, there's nothing to be gained from not encouraging her (although the *dis*advantages of that course are still in place). On top of that, if a child is going to need accommodations, there's a lot to be said for the child *obviously* needing accommodations - it can be easier for a school to see that they have to do something for a child who's reading chapter books when they start school, than that they have to do something for a child who's reading picture books.

Of course, you still have to be careful that you don't go beyond encouraging in the sense of following her lead! It can be tricky, really, to know what's optimal. (In the context of another thread I found myself thinking that the conjugation is "I encourage, you push, he/she/it hothouses"!) What I felt comfortable with with my DS was (a) buying reading scheme books (because they are fully decodable, unlike picture books) which (b) were only ever read by DS (not read to him by anyone else) and (c) allowing reading and looking at books in bed at night.

Your daughter is giving you the opportunity to learn some lessons many parents don't fully understand until their kids are teenagers or adults. The first is that we actually have very little control. It is easy during the toddler and preschooler years to think you have a lot more control over your child and her universe than you ultimately really do. Parents can try to make the athlete the scholar or the mathematician the actor, but it rarely works for long. Your daughter is demonstrating that she's developing just fine. It isn't your job to control that.

The second possible lesson is that our fears can really get in the way of enjoying our kids and developing strong relationships with them. That fear comes out of love and a desire to protect, but that makes it no less damaging.

I encourage you to approach her development with an open mind. This may not be the kid you expected and she may surprise you. But, something being different from what we expected doesn't mean it is bad. I too was where you were years ago. I felt terrified about grade skipping. I feel glad I tried to shed that fear and really look at it with an open mind because it was the road to having a happy, well adjusted kid.

I would strongly suggest you get a copy of this book: http://www.amazon.com/Parents-Guide-Gifted-Children/dp/0910707529/ref=tmm_pap_title_0

I could have written this!!!

and this... practically every week I feel this way ...

For DD, this would have been the kiss of death at 2. If I showed her how to do something, she wanted no more of it. She loved to teach herself. And I'm glad she did, because she had an unusual path to reading, as is often the case for gifted early readers, and I'm sure that if I'd tried to teach her she wouldn't have learned as well. I think that if a child is smart and driven and ready to learn to read at 2, he or she is smart and driven and ready to do it without lessons. And lessons can only get in the way.



I think there is a difference between teaching a skill and teaching (talking about) facts. I think teaching a child to read is perhaps more like teaching a baby to walk. Sure, a baby needs support and encouragement. But will he learn to walk sooner if you pick up his feet and show him exactly where to put them? And if he does, what have you gained? I just see no point in this sort of thing absent a disability (in which case explicit lessons can be crucial). Why teach a child what the child will teach herself?



I'm not so sure of this. I think early readers often progress at very asynchronous rates. While my DD read sentences first at 2 and was fluent before 3 1/2, it was not a smooth process. It took almost a year for her to progress from reading (hundreds of) sight words to sounding words out and I can imagine that it could have taken much longer. Then she progressed very rapidly for a while, but she was absolutely in love with reading at that time. It all depends on her continued interest, after all.

Brilliant. I agree completely. And I think this works both in terms of holding back a child who is ready to progress AND in the sense of hothousing a child who is not driving the learning process. Both say to a child "What you are is not right. Change."

If you don't accept a child, accept that the skills s/he wants to learn--whatever those are--are right for that child, you are teaching that child something alright, but it's not a healthy lesson!

Hi Gargi,

My best thought is to not even think about school right now. Get her the Bob books or whatever she wants.
Ask her: What would you like to read, do, go, learn today. Let her lead with her interests and you'll have a happy kid.

I would consider skipping pre-school, or at least the one of the years of pre-school. Your time might be better spent going on field trips together and enjoying each others company.

My girls are 7 and 10 right now and trust me, the time goes by so fast!!

Your daughter sounds like a joy. Kids this intelligent can be very draining to their parents, so make sure you take care of yourself.

Neato

Welcome to the gifted world.

(Hope I'm not repeating someone else's post.)

Do stop by (google for it) Hoagies which has lots of articles on giftedness. There are also lots of articles here at the Davidson website. Later on, I'm sure you'll enjoy reading the articles at SENG (Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted)

Whatever you thought a child of 2, 3, 4, 5 , etc etc should be like -- or what is "normal" can now be tossed out the window. Your child is normal in the context of other gifted kids -- and even this group has a lot of variations.

While she is young, read and read, so you'll be more prepared to understand her, when she is sad, frustrated, or happy, and more prepared to consider her pre-school and school.

Prepare yourself, emotionally, mentally, ... come here and post often and vent, if need to. The internet is great, you're not isolated and can get help and knowledge easily. Knowledge about gifted children will help you help your daughter.

Your concern re: her not skipping grades is just your current/immediate thought. You may re-consider quite a lot of things in the next 3-6 months.

Do post on this discussion board as I've always found this place to be a very supportive place.

Best wishes.

gargi,

Awesome job following your child's lead! YOU are doing a great job!!!

My dd started reading about the same age. I remember trying to divert her interest with ASL and plant identification ( we would go on long walks and id plants with latin names). I thought it would slow her reading down a tad. I don't know if my efforts "helped", at 7 she is easily 8+ grades ahead of her age peers.

Please keep us posted! It helps us folks with older kids too.

Chrys

Thanks to all of you for so much support and all the answers I am reading all the comments in depth. I needed these opinions, if I even tried to speak with other parents or even as much mentioned that my child can read at 2 years they would think or say I am hot housing her ! This is the only forum which can undersand and advice . I will keep you all posted about how she is doing from time to time.

I may not post in other forums but will be reading all your posts I am new to this there is a lot to learn for me !

Just wanted to update all you folks who encouraged me ! I spoke with my daughters montessori teacher and at first my DD resisted reading with her and the teacher stopped trying right away and I told her no hurry ! Then after a week she tried again and this time she is convinced DD can read very well ! Now my daughter is reading the short u sound books.

They are also giving her lot of other exercises like matching the words and pictures etc. The teacher tells me she is doing well.

Reading keeps DD occupied and I haven't done anything related to math with her all this month.She is also learning to write numbers in school and alhabets at home. She likes it a lot !

I agree. And take each moment as it comes instead of worrying about what will happen down the line.

My son was grade skipped from K to 1. The biggest issue against it from the school (who was the one recommending it) was that he would not be able to drive when his friends do due to age. My response was we will cross that bridge when we get to it. And we will. But right now, we have to do what is right for DS6. And I thought he was not socially ready at all, but the school convinced me otherwise... kids act different at home than they do at school. So to the OP, good luck, and take it one step at a time!

Talking to other parent I've found will just leave you feeling more isolated! Of course, the caviat to this is that, talking to parents on this forum will help A LOT!

My daughter is now in Kindergarten and began reading close the the age of yours. All I can say...is you can't hold back a race horse! They just love to run!

I went through a, I'm not going to give her anymore, so she can't get to far ahead phase before school! Suffice it to say, these kids have plans of their own and are hard to stop. She's had "quieter" periods, but she's still a race horse!

Hang on mom! You are going for a ride!!!

Oh, and I forgot...I'm a worrier myself and I can certainly give this advice. All the worrying in the world won't help, cause you are just going to have to adjust over time. She'll change rapidly and school may have to be a very "fluid" sort of thing adapting with her needs.

And ENJOY! She'll will be a pleasure to learn with!

Sounds like you are doing a great job with your daughter. It is all about following their lead. I used to feel weird buying my DS5 things that were somewhat academically based, but he loves that stuff and that is what makes him happy. One day he told me "some people think spiderman is fun, but to me Math is REALLY fun" and his eyes lights up when he talks about it. We still do lots of other stuff and he has other interests of course that aren't purely academic, but that is what he is driven towards. Our DS5 was reading at 19 months (self taught obviously...we had no clue he could read and it really freaked us out). We just had books around and he read...can't really stop that. With my DD2 (turning three in a couple months) she is showing signs that she will start reading soon. This is strange to us because DS didn't show signs, he just started reading. DD knows all her letters and recognizes a couple words and when she talks she will say things like "I want a buh-buh-bagel for buh-buh-breakfast....those both start with B" she is very into letters lately and pointing to things and asking me what they say. We aren't doing anything about it other than answering her questions and reading with her because she likes books a lot. Not much else to do. I imagine she will be reading at 3.

As to worrying about the future, I would try not to do that (easier said then done). It is not at all productive. We were worried a lot with DS and things are going pretty well now. I still have times when I worry a little but he is who he is and we love him. We had DS in a montessori school for pre-k (just 3 half-days a week) and then he skipped K and went to first. Honestly, K was never even a consideration for us. It just wasn't a good fit, socially emotionally or academically. first is not a fit academically either, but they are making accomodations and differentiating and we are going to try to get by without more skips...but we may have to in the future if he is miserable. One day at a time : ) Good luck!

Hi! I'm brand new here, since we just got our YS acceptance notice for my 5 year old son this week.

I'm enjoying this thread because my younger son is 26 months today, and also just started reading sight words/early sentences on his own. Since I homeschool my older one, little one hasn't gotten nearly as much one-on-one time, so I have to give a lot of credit to Leapfrog fridge magnets and Baby Tad. (LOL!) My older one also taught himself at 2, and I had the same emotions you do. The advice here is wonderful!

I have two cents (or 2 pieces of advice) to share from my limited experience:

First, encourage that reading! Reading opens up a world for them that nothing else can. Their language, education, pleasure time and time to relax, imagination and sharing experiences with peers, etc etc are all benefited from becoming proficient readers. (Not only that, but let them read by themselves in bed for 15 minutes at night, and bedtime becomes so much easier!)

Second, please don't follow my steps and waste too much time and worry about the future. With my 5 year old, I spent years worrying about acceleration, private schools, etc. We enrolled him in traditional preschool, but also filled days with countless enrichment activities and field trips (music, art, zoo and nature classes, sports, library, etc., and of course playgroups), and he learned so much more than any accelerated regular classroom while spending that time with family and friends and having constant fun.

We chose to enter him in regular kindergarten for the first semester, and again we had to worry about acceleration (which the school encouraged), differentiation, etc. Then, a completely foreign solution came to us with homeschooling, which is very popular here in suburban NorCal w/ GT children. We are with a charter school that embraces his PG, he is able to study at his appropriate grade levels in each subject (plus study "out" instead of just "up" with latin, arts, history...), and he is constantly socializing with a mix of academic/age peers through workshops and co-ops. Never ever in those thousand sleepless nights did I come up with this solution, but my worries were answered.

My long-rambling point is that I recommend all moms of GT toddlers/preschoolers embrace what they give us, enjoy every moment, and don't worry about the future because the right option will be there when you need it.

I look forward to "talking" with everyone more!

Hi Gratefulmom - Do you have any ideas of fun places to visit in the area? I'm from Sacto myself and feel kind of disheartened by not finding much for the family. We're limited in drive time, so I suppose that may be part of it. Would you feel comfortable replying in PM so we don't hijack the thread?

I visited the blog you are writing I think it's wonderful ! I also have blog but never dared to discuss my daughter on there. I tried to find follow the blog link on your blog couldn't find it.

Now my DD is done with second set of phonics practice readers.But the reason I wanted to post here today is to discuss early writing skills. She can now write all uppercase and lower case letters. Spell all 3 letter words and write them by herself.

I didn't see anyone discussing the early writing skills.....Tell me about what's happening in your house so I can learn from it. So before my DD is age three she is reading and writing

Her teacher also thinks DD is very smart and has never seen such a great memory at such an early age.

Thanks everyone for all the insights and help you keep giving me.

Hi Gargi, I have two dd's 7 & 5. The 5yr old is the one that loves to write and draw. At 3 she wrote short stories and drew pictures then had me staple them together so she would have a book. I put the first one she made in her baby book, it's called "Pink Cat" about 10 pages long and has 3-4 words on each page with her drawings on in.

When she started doing this I purchased Scolastic writing books for her. I also like American Education Publishing "the complete book of Handwriting" K-3. I have to make sure she always has paper available to write and draw with (if not she will seek out something to write on,lol) At 5 she writes well and neatly,well above grade level. She also loves to write in a journal.

hope that helps, best wishes with your little one.

Skylersmommy, that's a great story. My DS4 also likes making up stories and creating books. I got blank books for him originally at a local toy store, but wound up going with stapled folded paper afterwards to save money. It's a great activity.

I think my son's first one was called "Scary Snail" or something similar-- it began with a little boy getting eaten by a monster, then there was a picture of him in the monster's tummy next to a skeleton :D, then he busted out of there and roamed the landscape before sitting next to a rock to rest. Then the rock turned around and it was a SCARY SNAIL that tried to eat him! He escaped into a tepee, where he found his mommy and daddy and sat down to eat. (At that stage he wasn't handwriting very much at all, and asked me to write the words for him. I just think kids' stories are wonderful and couldn't resist sharing.)

OP, my son began reading in his late 2s, and about then made his first attempts to write as well. He would come to me and ask me to write something, then copy it on his little erasable drawing toy. He worked pretty hard to be able to write his name at first, then there was a long hiatus until he became interested in doing more. This past year he has been at a preschool where they have very specific notions about the right strokes to use, but they don't have the four-year-olds do much writing, so he has been pretty sloppy in his attempts this year. I figure that that is something he'll learn in school anyway, so I don't correct him most of the time, unless he notices he's doing something wrong and asks.

So cute, I love hearing about stories like these

Oh just you wait until she's 12 and cute and all the bee's start buzzing around your honey! If you are worried about her socializing with older kids now, you have many sleepless nights ahead of you I am afraid.

After reading the above posts I asked my dd to tell me a story ans this is how it goes.

Once upon a time me and my friends (names her classmates) went to a forest. We saw a big tiger and the tiger came to eat us but later we all ate chciken with the tiger ....

Hilarious !!

I already have sleepless nights thinking about that !:0

right now my dd likes to write on the easel. Her letters are big so she can't write a word like monkey in a book yet. slowly trying to make the letters smaller so she can write them on the paper.

Gargi, the easel is definitely recommended for early writers.

My older DS was writing words by the time he was 2 1/2. We hadn't learned the "easel" clue, but he did find it better to write on top of a 3 ring notebook that was turned to slope towards him.

My 26 month old isn't writing letters yet, butI will probably introduce them in the next month. His writing skills have really taken off in the past several weeks when we started giving him the Kumon tracing and mazes books to play with.

These are great skills, but I can't forget that there are also many critical skills for them to learn at this age that don't involve early academics. For example, my older one could write before anyone else, but he was always one of the slower ones to get his coat zippered in 3 year old preschool because it had never dawned on me for him to do it himself! Likewise, my 26month old is just about potty trained, but I keep forgetting to teach him how to pull his pants on and off by himself! It's funny how I get so focused on the big accomplishments and forget about some of those little ones that I need to show them!

Now I have a new puzzle to solve. The teachers and us parents think that she could be ambidextrous. When I search ambidextrous on the internet I come across things that say ambidextrous and brain damage are related . It kind of spooked me a little. anyone here has a ambidextrous older kid ? Can you please help me put some sense into this.

Our DD writes with both hands does crafts and evry other everyday activity with both hands. without knowing which hand is dominant how do I tell her to use one hand ? She seemed to be more and more lefty last year but now she is getting equally good with the other hand.

Both her teachers think she has extraordinary abilities with math and reading. she gets a 5 in practical life in her montessori. Should I be worried about the ambidextrous thing?

I never read or heard that, about brain damage possibly causing or being linked to ambidexterity, but it is certainly interesting. Wikipedia, source of all true information in the universe, says that 1% of people are naturally ambidextrous and does not mention brain damage. In any event I would still not encourage dominance in a certain side in order to destroy ambidexterity. Ambidexterity could be a useful trait, and I can't believe that destroying ambidexterity could somehow cure brain damage.

My DD was most definitely ambidextrous from an early age but at the same time we noticed she tend to favor her left hand. She is now 4 and can safely be called a lefty but this is with writing and eating. When she cuts, throws and even kicks she favors her right side. About 3.5 years ago I came across an article in a journal that talks about young children, especially babies, and their hand preference. What they discovered is with each major milestone a baby/child would switch their preference for a little while and then finally go back to the other hand. Take sitting up or crawling. Both a big milestones in a child's life and each time they accomplish it something in their brain is linked to it and causes the child to switch hands. I really wish I could provide the journal but I don't have access to all of that now.

I have often wondered why we in the gifted community pick up on the changes more than the average child's parents and I think it might do with the fact that our children are doing such advanced stuff at such an early age. BTW: I monitored my DD after reading that article and it was true. Every major milestone she completed she would switch hand preference. And my DD was writing before she was a year old so it was very noticeable when she made that switch.

As for brain damage ... I have actually heard that before but can't place why or what they are referring to. I'm going to have to research that one. But as cricket pointed out, your child is still kind of young to classify as left, right or ambidextrous. It is usually around age 4.

DS7 didn't make up his mind until he was 5. He did everything fairly equally.... Don't see any brain damage here! (unless it's mine)LOL

DD appears to be left handed (she's 21 months). At times she's ambidextrous but then she always reverts back to her left hand. I did see on wikipedia, though, that left-handed/ambidextrous adults seemed to have had stressful births when they were born (as was the case for DD...).



I think because we can't turn our brains off. From even before DD was born I had to research everything, look up what milestones to expect, what behaviors or common etc. I remember being so frustrated that more studies weren't done to better understand infant development. It's not like I had a ton of spare time either (I was finishing up my doctorate) but it was just too interesting, I had to research it.

Which direction is her hair whorl? (speaking of things to research). Lefties and ambidextrous people often have it going counter-clockwise (which is otherwise uncommon, most hair whorls rotate clockwise).

Polly

Some years ago, there were a couple of studies that showed left-handedness to be linked with prenatally exposure to ultrasound (and this was suggested as the reason for the general rise in prevalence of left-handedness). At the time, there were certainly suggestions that left-handedness was a sign of early stress of some kind in gestation. As I understand it, though, the link didn't stand up to later attempts at replication, and was probably due to chance. I think the current consensus is that genetic factors are overwhelmingly the most important in determining handedness, and that the apparent rise in prevalence of left-handedness is probably purely because of greater acceptance of it now.

http://www.livescience.com/health/handedness-children-school-100125.html

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/35062930

I found 2 of the above articles which say ambidextrous may be bad. Where as the wikipedia says this can be an advatage in sports etc and doesn't say anything about any kind of problems.

Now my DD is three years and 3 months old. Her doctor also says she might have dominant hand by the time she is 4 or 5. She also said most children have a dominant hand by the time they are 2 years old.



I agree...Most children don't write at this age so difficult to tell if they use both hands.

So who's in their right mind, the right handers or the left handers?

Yes cricket it was very helpful. I don't have any other concerns with her. I don't worry about ADHD neither do I see any behavioural problems. I think it's best for me to stop worrying now and just keep watching her. You also helped me understand the articles very well . Thank You

Her hair whorls clickwise ..Probably it does mean she will eventually be right handed.