I'm very anxious for DYS membership to become active. We have had delay. I sent in the form with out DS's signature.

I was wondering when DYS becomes active is there a standard next step that I can work towards for advocacy.

I've been holding back with school because things got tense and I don't want to make the relationship worse. I think once DYS kicks in they can help direct me to what we need. I know I can only talk with the principal so much so I need to really have a good conversation prepared.

Should I try to do some sort of testing with him at home? Like Alex? Any suggestions? and print out results. I need a way to sell my son on this. He is very distrusting because he is worried they will give him more work instead of appropriate work. They overloaded him with Math but have since cut the work load in half.

Here is current Advocacy goals:
study recommended books.
create small notebook of supporting short articles, book pages
Waiting for Explore results in March.
I already gave the principal a portfolio of Dylan's work
Start a new portfolio/resume with above grade Math workbook pages,activites, awards - math contests, lego contest, etc.
Look at more schools
Try to understand IQ and achievement test scores

Any comments here on what should be biggest priority? My head is spinning with all of this.

This is like a part time job, I don't know how much longer I can hold out here. I really need a paying part time job. I'm so scared about getting back to work and not be able to tend to this properly.

The biggest priority is to work on understanding your sons IQ and achievement scores. It's hard to make others understand if you don't understand yourself. Reading Ruf was helpful to place my DD's LOG and what she is capable of doing. I say capable because what they can do and are "allowed" to do, even what you might want them to do, can differ.

Get a good understanding of where he really is and what your goals are and what his goals are so you can advocate in his best interest. My DD10 has had pretty set goals for herself for the last year or so. That may or may not be the case for your son.

I have a file I keep of the most important articles to us and those that really apply to my DD that I can refer to often.

HTH

I'd add a suggestion for the top of your list: relax. I understand how big a responsibility this feels to you. BTDT! But you don't have to do everything RIGHT NOW. Helping your child is a process, not a destination.

I feel like you're putting more pressure on yourself than you have to. Yes, you need to do what you can for your child. I'm the first person to say that you can't just let a bad school fit go for a long time without doing damage. But then again, kids are resiliant. And the fact is that you're *not* letting it go. You're on top of the situation. Stressing out doesn't help your child and it certainly doesn't make you more effective. Deep breaths!

When it comes to perfectionism, the apple often doesn't fall far from the tree. But remember that very little in a child's education is irreversible, so perfection isn't required. Most choices can be changed, schools can be switched, options can be tried and discarded. It's all an experiment. You keep what works for your child and try again in another direction for what doesn't work. It won't go perfectly. It doesn't go perfectly for any of us! And that's okay.

Do your (reasonable) best and accept that your best is good enough. It will be. I promise!

When I look at Ruf's Levels (on Davidson or maybe it's Hoagies.) It get's confusing because I don't remember what he did. Is there more in the book that clarifies lOG. Is this a book I should own?

What would you suggest how to understand sons IQ and achievement scores? I have asked here in many ways and still I'm lost. I do understand some generaliation- like he needs less repetions, he is not studying.

I think in short term goals,this year, I would like him to stay with his peers for the majority of the day and move him 2 grades up in GT pull out for Math Or up 1-2 grades for English and see what happens. He would need to elliminate some work to do this. School is afraid of this. Should I just try and talk to the principal again or wait for DYS to kick in. I feel like we are running out of time this year.

If I were to ask my son his goal it would be Get him out of his busy work and let him learn something in a way he is capble without isolation. I'm not sure he would be mature enough to say this even to me. I have already requested this, they did a little adjustment-but not enough. I even have supplied some work he loves to do so it's easy for the teacher. But How can I prove he doesn't need something when teacher's will not pretest? or just skip it.

You know, assuming I'm reading you right, DYS doesn't really "kick in" the way you are thinking of it. They can consult with you about strategies you can use for advocacy, can write a letter for you to give to the school, can give you articles for your own or the school's education. But they won't suddenly make it all better.

What are you hoping to get from DYS? How are you hoping they will help you?

I feel like if I can get the school to try a baby step this year even for a couple of Months then they would be more likely to do a 1-2 accelloration next year in a class.... so racing...

I am so worried because the further he is in the education the further I will be from understanding. (Ex. Spelling book, he knows the words the first day, I can see he doesn't need to do the word circle but the other 3 days worksheet, I really can't say why he doesn't need it but I think he doesn't.) ...so I'm racing

I need to get a part time job. There goes my time. ...so I'm racing.

My boy is not liking school. He should be a teachers dream, self motivated. interested in everything, smart, participates. ...so I'm racing.

OK I will take a breath. but I got upset today Chess Club hasn't measured up and I thought that was going to be the thing to help him. Oh well hopefully the teacher will match him up better.

I want DYS to back me up by helping to get the school to understand his needs and know it's ok for him to do something different.

More likely, your DYS consultant will help *you* to find ways to persuade the school to let your son do something different. But you'll be doing the heavy lifting of the advocacy.

Some schools get more compliant if they get a letter from DYS, since it is an outside entity that declares the child PG. That can help. It's harder for them to write you off as a crazy person whose child isn't THAT smart if someone else says he is.

Other schools get a letter and think they're at risk of being sued (though they aren't--not by DYS anyway). That fear--justified or not--can move things along sometimes.

But the advocacy will really be coming from you. DYS can offer support for you, but you'll be doing the work.

On that note, if you feel that you are under a real time crunch, then I think I'd say that charging on before you speak to your consultant might be best. At least setting up a meeting, since those sometimes take a while to arrange, might be smart, even if you arrange it for a time after you will have spoken to your consultant.

You might also contact the DYS office and explain your situation. They might be able to fast-track the process for you given your circumstances. It's worth a try.

Thanks Kriston.

Ok thanks for reeling me in CFK.

I wish I had read this advice a few years ago! But I will try to keep it in mind (I should staple it to my head!) for the future. Thanks very much for the post.

Besides the emphasis that neither Davidson's in general, nor the FC in particular have a magic wand and can make it all better, there are a couple of things that are worth mentioning.

One thing that stuck with me from our first FC phone call was to ask Dd specific questions that can give a lot of information. For instance, ask her what she would change from her school day if she could change only one thing.

Also, the more concrete ideas you have, and the better grasp you have of what they can and cannot offer (see posts above), then the more productive that first phone call will be.

I agree with Kristen. Advocacy comes from you. You will need to get all the paper works and gather your thoughts together before you have the conference. DYS would give you a letter. This letter helps. When I brought up DYS to the teacher, I got a frantic phone call from her because she thought I was going to sue the school. It took me a while to calm her down. Our SST meeting was very calm. With all the IQ, Achievement and MAPs scores, and recommendations from the psychologist and DYS, DS got a grade skip.



I thought the same way when my boy entered school. Then I realize some teachers hate to deal with this kind of kids because they need to work harder to satisfy the desires of learning for them.