Like most kids, DS3 loves to watch TV and play iPod/iPad/iPhone/etc. He is a little too good with touch screen and mouse pad that I would like to admit.
I am one of those stubborn parents who try to discourage him from screen time as much as possible. I want him to have human interaction instead of machine interaction.
Now with a newborn, I don�t have as much time to spend with him as I would like. A lot of time, he would just lay on the couch until I suggest something fun/challenging to do (e.g. new puzzles, snip circuits, mazes, books, etc).
I am starting to second guess myself if limited amount of screen time is better than just laying around.
I am all ears.
P.S. preschool is currently not an option because he easily gets sick from group setting, and I am afraid he would spread the germs to his sister.
I'd say this largely depends on what your screen time limits are, and what else the kid could be doing while you're otherwise occupied.
Personally, I think the advice for kids and screen time is well-intentioned but misleading. The real problem behind the solution of limiting screen time is to make sure the kids are getting enough of the other things they need, like exercise and interpersonal contact. This is because excessive screen time crowds out these other things, that are very important. In reality, the purpose is not limiting screen time, it's protecting time for these other things.
So, as long as the kid is still getting enough face time and fresh air... what's the harm?
There are a lot of studies saying television in particular harms a developing mind's attention span, but you sure couldn't prove it in my house.
Germs can be good for you, seriously that's what the dr's are saying! But outside of that, have you considered more social time with just one or two other kids? Once you get past the initial sharing of new germs the frequency of illnesses should go down...until one of them starts preschool.
Yes human interaction is best, but there have to be other humans around!
(sorry to be blunt, are you saying he has a serious immune issue, or just that getting sick is a pain and he's sensitive?)
My ds is sensitive and so much more likely to get sick than his sister it is ridiculous at times, but still he's gotta get out there and do his thing.
DH and I both work full-time.
DS was in daycare for 6 months, and he was sick almost every week for those 6 months. We were using so much vacation days that it's not practical for him to be in daycare. Even his dr suggested nanny over daycare until DS is older.
I've read to limit TV and Screen time all together to a maxium of 2hrs.a day, not 2 hours each.
It's ok for a child to just sit still and be quiet sometimes, even if he is a little bored. That good coping skills. I would suggest lots of books around and have a bedtime routinue of reading. My children 8 & 11 both read every night before bed. Infact they get mad if they get home late and don't have reading time.
We have a no electronics policy at our house. Tues. and Thurs. and Sat. and Sun. mornings till lunch there are no electronics.
What they do on no electronics day is up to them.
DS definitely doesn't get 2 hours of screen time a day. He would be lucky if he gets 15 mins a day if I am home.
We have lots and lots of books, and he loves to read. We also spend at least 1/2 hour every night reading to him.
I remember being bored when I was a kid, and I used to hate it. So I feel bad that DS is just laying around doing nothing.
Sometimes while it seems they are doing nothing, the daydreaming they are doing is necessary for growth
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...dren-process-information-and-explore-ide
DS definitely doesn't get 2 hours of screen time a day. He would be lucky if he gets 15 mins a day if I am home.
We have lots and lots of books, and he loves to read. We also spend at least 1/2 hour every night reading to him.
I remember being bored when I was a kid, and I used to hate it. So I feel bad that DS is just laying around doing nothing.
Fifteen minutes a day? In this case, I'd say an increase is definitely a no-harm, no-foul proposition. These kids are going to grow up in an increasingly digitized world, so the more comfortable they are in it, the better.
We have no electronics policy in my home. DD has independent access to a number of electronic devices, and unless there's something else she needs to be doing at the moment, we generally don't interfere. But as much as she enjoys these things, she doesn't spend two hours on any of them in a day combined (unless it's a family camp out night, which always includes a movie). There are always other things she'd like to do, too.
She's got a Nintendo DS she keeps in the car for long trips, but lately, all she wants to do there is read.
I did not and still do not limit screen time.
Why make it forbidden fruit?
Some days my son will spend six hours straight creating a new stop-action video from his Lego characters, others he may watch an old Star Trek on Hulu (or a new Modern Family) and then turn it off. He's a different kid, and some days he needs a lot of alone time and needs to have long enough to completely lose himself in a project. Other days he's social and wants to go next door to play with the neighbor boy. It balances out. Books and reading are both great, but we live in an age where I think whether he's reading instructions for creating a new map, researching black holes online, or struggling to spell words for the video he's making, reading is reading. He'll likely never read Moby Dick, but he may make a very cool movie based on it.
We have a similar approach to ABQMom. DD has days where she just needs to veg and she'll have a few hours screen time over the course of a day, but a good majority of the time she has very little interest in screens at all. She'll turn something on only to switch it off 15 minutes later. We kind of go with the flow. I agree with Dude too, that screen time limits are more about ensuring kids are getting their social and physical needs met - which dd definitely does.
No hard limits here either, although I will tell DS he's had enough computer time for the day sometimes. During the week he has no time to spend on screens anyway (except what we do together on my laptop on the bus!) We don't have TV (just DVD and computers), which I feel helps, in that anything he's watching/doing can be done another day, so telling him to stop it for now isn't a huge deal.
I generally recommend avoiding computer games generally, as that was possibly the activity that was most destructive to my life, being that it was the only thing I basically did from age 14(?) to 26. Granted, I did do other things, such as high school activities, but getting into the habit of doing it all the time, and then going to college, where there were no external restraints, was a real problem.
TV is mostly a waste of time, too.
We do not limit but our kids seem to monitor themselves with their screen time. Some days they are all about it, some days they could care less and are interested in anything but the glowing screen, just out being boys. They rarely stay doing one thing for an extended period of time when its computer/game/tv involved...the newness of whatever they've found wears off and off they go to something else one of the other children are doing.
I've seen strict regulation of TV end up badly in the young adult years when the parents no longer have rein....on the flip side I've seen kids get addicted to the glowing screen as well from overuse and continue that behavior into adulthood...I think that is more to do with types of personality than anything, some people have a more addictive type personality than others and it shows up in many ways. Its a parental choice, and what you think is best for your kids, as you know them best sorta answer.
We didn't have a TV for about 5 years. And that has made all the difference.
My dc's couldn't care less about it.
I generally recommend avoiding computer games generally, as that was possibly the activity that was most destructive to my life, being that it was the only thing I basically did from age 14(?) to 26. Granted, I did do other things, such as high school activities, but getting into the habit of doing it all the time, and then going to college, where there were no external restraints, was a real problem.
TV is mostly a waste of time, too.
I wouldn't recommend avoiding computer games
entirely, though. As a tool for training mental agility and flexibility, I don't think they can be beat. "Here's an entirely alien environment that operates on a whole different set of rules from anything you've encountered before... go!"
Now with a newborn, I don�t have as much time to spend with him as I would like. A lot of time, he would just lay on the couch until I suggest something fun/challenging to do (e.g. new puzzles, snip circuits, mazes, books, etc).
Rather seeing the lack of ability to self entertain a reason to have more electronics, I would suggest instead it is a reason to have less. Learning to self engage, handle frustration, handle boredom, enjoy day dreaming, etc. are all important life skills and the development of those skills can be interfered with by ready access to electronics. Consuming electronics isn't a hard fought skill, the games and software are designed to keep the child attentive and pressing next. It is at the very core a passive activity.
While I don't at all think preschool is mandatory, interacting with the world is. For a preschooler that can be stuff like: going to the post office, taking walks, going to the park, going to library story time, etc.
While he needs your attention he doesn't always need your full attention. It is appropriate to expect preschoolers to handle some divided attention (like you are feeding the baby while semi paying attention to him while he builds with trains or whatever). Also, not everything needs to be a child centered entertainment activity. He can help make sandwiches, help wipe off the table, etc.
I wouldn't recommend avoiding computer games entirely, though. As a tool for training mental agility and flexibility, I don't think they can be beat. "Here's an entirely alien environment that operates on a whole different set of rules from anything you've encountered before... go!"
Forever kids have been making up their own imaginary worlds with different rules. They create it from scratch, they live it, they destroy it. Playing has been the world where many of us learned these skills and gained motor skills and sensory awareness all at the same time.
Learning to self engage, handle frustration, handle boredom, enjoy day dreaming, etc. are all important life skills and the development of those skills can be interfered with by ready access to electronics.
I do agree with what you are saying.
I don't know what he is thinking, if any, when he is laying around. I don't want him to tune out when he is bored.
I wouldn't recommend avoiding computer games entirely, though. As a tool for training mental agility and flexibility, I don't think they can be beat. "Here's an entirely alien environment that operates on a whole different set of rules from anything you've encountered before... go!"
Forever kids have been making up their own imaginary worlds with different rules. They create it from scratch, they live it, they destroy it. Playing has been the world where many of us learned these skills and gained motor skills and sensory awareness all at the same time.
If the kid makes up the rules, then the kid can change the rules. They can't do that in the real world, they have to adapt to the environment they find themselves in, and develop strategies that work within it. Computer games stimulate those cognitive processes.
And then, they can go outside, imagine their own world, and gain sensory awareness and motor skills, because nobody here proposed the child should be sitting in front of World of Warcraft all day.
If the kid makes up the rules, then the kid can change the rules. They can't do that in the real world, they have to adapt to the environment they find themselves in, and develop strategies that work within it.
Ah, in my opinion the world needs more people who are willing and able not just to follow the rules, but to imagine what it would be like with entirely different rules.
If you think into your memory bank of childhood life, you may recall when kids engage in fantasy play they are in a constant dialogue with each other and with their environment. It is a process.
I do agree with what you are saying.
I don't know what he is thinking, if any, when he is laying around. I don't want him to tune out when he is bored.
Processing time is absolutely essential for the young brain. It may not look like anything but important stuff is happening.
If the kid makes up the rules, then the kid can change the rules. They can't do that in the real world, they have to adapt to the environment they find themselves in, and develop strategies that work within it.
Ah, in my opinion the world needs more people who are willing and able not just to follow the rules, but to imagine what it would be like with entirely different rules.
If you think into your memory bank of childhood life, you may recall when kids engage in fantasy play they are in a constant dialogue with each other and with their environment. It is a process.
Okay, we get it, you don't like computer games. Fine. We can behave like adults and agree to disagree. There's no need to troll.
IIRC the jury's out on whether screen time contributes to ADHD, but it seems logical to me that the amount of constant stimulus in the content could do such a thing. Even without that worry, screen time certainly can IMO turn a mind passive, depending on the content.
So I do not limit screen time with DD3. In the beginning she was pretty into it and then over time she has come to a fine balance. The one thing I have noticed is that she has been able to type letters and her name etc. on the computer but is reluctant to write. I think it brings up some of the perfectionism issues. That is something I would be more concerned about.
I find this discussion very interesting. I have older stepkids who grew up with unlimited screen time at their mom's house (and also a lack of emphasis on school, which is reflected on report cards).
When DD was born, I guess I followed my instincts. It bothered me to see her spending too much time in front of a screen. It bothered me to see how addicting that stuff was to my stepkids.
I was raised in an era before home computer games (unless you count Pong). And there wasn't much kid programming on TV outside of Saturday mornings.
So I naturally tended to limit screen time for DD to Saturday mornings because it just felt more "right" to me (not an absolute rule, just sort of a general one). When DD asks to watch, I often suggest an alternative activity. As a result, when she was three, she designed her own unique handbags out of construction paper and wrote her first children's book. It was worth the boredom moments, in my opinion.
That said, she has a gifted classmate who appears to have unlimited screen time and it certainly has not slowed that kid down in any way intellectually. His journal writing assignments do tend to revolve around Mario, etc., instead of some more profound or social subjects, though, which makes me sigh a little.
On the other hand, my stepdaughter moved in with us 6 months ago and in that short time her grades have improved enormously. Part of that is due to the value we place on school, but I think living in our "boring" household with limited screen exposure helps, too.
We limit screen time and definitely computer time. We have chosen not to have a Wii or DS or XBox.
I think too much of anything is bad; moderation in everything is our motto.
We have noticed that our kids engage in alot of imaginative, self-directed play when we shut off the gadgets. They play alone with legos and come up with wild, detailed plot-lines for their play.
That isn't to say that you can't be successful with alot of computer time on board. We have chosen to limit it.
Random Internet person's opinion:
http://projectinfolit.org/st/poldrack.aspNow I'm embarrassed because I'm always posting internet links instead of quoting books. Is that ironic or redundant? Something I was thinking of awhile back. Does anyone else sometimes visualize what they're reading or thinking about? Mine kind of played out like a (faded) movie. I wonder if this generation of kids will have computer screen graphics like on star fall or PBS where you have so many different boxes with so many different games going on.
Dude don't be rude.
Love is the way
Nothing else to say!
I volunteer every week in both my third and first grader's classes. It's a public school; our G/T program doesn't start until 4th grade.
Some of the kids read below grade level in the class. Inevitably, the teacher has me work with those kids. In chatting with these kids, it seems like they watch ALOT of TV and have unfettered access to their Wii, XBOX, whatever. I mean, they have a TV in their room, and some watch it until midnight when they are "supposed to be asleep."
Are they below grade level b/c of their heavy video/computer use? Or is it b/c English isn't their first language, or their parents aren't educated, or... a million other reasons.
Obviously, I don't know. It could be an epiphenomenon, but I suspect that all of their TV/video usage isn't helpful.
My second son situation sounds like yours - when I am busy with Dylan, I let him play on the PC, watch tv or play on his Leapfrog Explorer. Although I will chase the kids outside or at least off the screen time if I feel they have been on it too long at one go, I don't really put serious time limits - they are learning all the time while screen time is going on, and their only real "down time" on the screen stuff is watching TV when they choose to watch a movie or the kids channel.. even the kids channel here (BBC - CBeeBies) is all educational shows in effect.
you can find some awesome games and sites out there for him to play on while you are busy, then everyone is happy, and when baby is sleeping you can do stuff with him. This works well for us.
I volunteer every week in both my third and first grader's classes. It's a public school; our G/T program doesn't start until 4th grade.
Some of the kids read below grade level in the class. Inevitably, the teacher has me work with those kids. In chatting with these kids, it seems like they watch ALOT of TV and have unfettered access to their Wii, XBOX, whatever. I mean, they have a TV in their room, and some watch it until midnight when they are "supposed to be asleep."
Are they below grade level b/c of their heavy video/computer use? Or is it b/c English isn't their first language, or their parents aren't educated, or... a million other reasons.
Obviously, I don't know. It could be an epiphenomenon, but I suspect that all of their TV/video usage isn't helpful.
I'd say the encroachment on sleep time is a giant red flag.
I volunteer every week in both my third and first grader's classes. It's a public school; our G/T program doesn't start until 4th grade.
Some of the kids read below grade level in the class. Inevitably, the teacher has me work with those kids. In chatting with these kids, it seems like they watch ALOT of TV and have unfettered access to their Wii, XBOX, whatever. I mean, they have a TV in their room, and some watch it until midnight when they are "supposed to be asleep."
Are they below grade level b/c of their heavy video/computer use? Or is it b/c English isn't their first language, or their parents aren't educated, or... a million other reasons.
Obviously, I don't know. It could be an epiphenomenon, but I suspect that all of their TV/video usage isn't helpful.
I'd say the encroachment on sleep time is a giant red flag.
Encroachment on sleep was my college experience. Computer games and/or TV up to 24 hours a day. More computer games than TV.
Why attend class, socialize, or do other things that require effort when you can eat pizza, drink soda, and play computer games?
I will point out that this did not end up having any benefits to me of which I can recall.
I volunteer every week in both my third and first grader's classes. It's a public school; our G/T program doesn't start until 4th grade.
Some of the kids read below grade level in the class. Inevitably, the teacher has me work with those kids. In chatting with these kids, it seems like they watch ALOT of TV and have unfettered access to their Wii, XBOX, whatever. I mean, they have a TV in their room, and some watch it until midnight when they are "supposed to be asleep."
Are they below grade level b/c of their heavy video/computer use? Or is it b/c English isn't their first language, or their parents aren't educated, or... a million other reasons.
Obviously, I don't know. It could be an epiphenomenon, but I suspect that all of their TV/video usage isn't helpful.
While we don't impose set limits as I mentioned earlier, dh and I have agreed dd will not have access to screens in her room until she's, well, an adult (that's the plan at least). I suspect as well, a general attitude to screen time as not particularly valuable in our house contributes to us not needing to put limits on dd. Dh and I don't watch TV while she's around and while I use my ipad a bit, it's generally for reading newspapers and magazines (and she's aware that's what I'm doing). We have a wii, playstation, iphones, ipad and two computers but we rarely use any them for anything 'fun'(the fact that we have all those things despite not really using them, is of course an issue for another day!) We got a DS for dd for this Christmas, however she announced the other day she'd rather a Hogwarts Lego set... unfortunate given the DS and games are already purchased and the Lego costs close to the same amount as the DS here!
I have a friend whose little girl is almost always staring at a screen - to the point where she's not even realised I'm there. That's too much screen time... if dd valued screens we'd be setting limits WAY before it reached that point!
I volunteer every week in both my third and first grader's classes. It's a public school; our G/T program doesn't start until 4th grade.
Some of the kids read below grade level in the class. Inevitably, the teacher has me work with those kids. In chatting with these kids, it seems like they watch ALOT of TV and have unfettered access to their Wii, XBOX, whatever. I mean, they have a TV in their room, and some watch it until midnight when they are "supposed to be asleep."
Are they below grade level b/c of their heavy video/computer use? Or is it b/c English isn't their first language, or their parents aren't educated, or... a million other reasons.
Obviously, I don't know. It could be an epiphenomenon, but I suspect that all of their TV/video usage isn't helpful.
Education level of parents, and amount of time the parents spend reading (even when not around the kids) has been shown to have a huge impact on kids' success in school. I can probably find several studies if anyone wants them. This is the sort of thing my step mother spends a lot of time on as an administrator for a h.s.
I am not sure whether DS would be addicted to screen or not, but I suspect he won�t if I set a clear limit. He has pretty good self control for a 3yo (e.g. he would refuse to eat things that flare up his eczema.)
My strict screen time policy is as much for DS as it is for DH. DH would have the TV on 24/7 if I let him.