DS6 has been having a terrible time falling asleep, staying asleep, and going back to sleep after he wakes up in the middle of the night. For the past year or so, he has slept face down in one of his baby blankets, with a top sheet wrapped tightly around his head and shoulders and tucked in all around him to protect him from monsters. Now, this position is no longer comfortable to him, but he refuses to go to bed any other way. When he can't sleep, he panics and and cries out for us. We've tried talking to him, sitting with him, letting him cry it out, letting him sit up and read, but nothing seems to help. The one night we let him read at 4 am, he never went back to sleep and was of course exhausted the next day. Because we can't make him sleep, by the end of the night everyone in the family is frustrated, angry and exhausted.

Any suggestions for how to deal with monsters, stubbornly-held bedtime rituals that are no longer working, or general anxiety about sleep? This is one phase that needs to be short-lived.

I read somewhere about a child who was afraid of monsters at night, so the parents got a small tent with a zipper and allowed them to pitch it in their room. The child felt safer having the zippered space.

There's a wonderful book called "The Monster Trap" by Dean Morrissey, with Stephen Krensky. It's beautifully illustrated by Mr. Morrissey. I purchased it before my son was born because I recall being afraid of monsters, and enjoyed the ingenuity "Pop" used to calm the fears of his grandson.

My heart really goes out to you. Our DS8.5 seems to be just "growing out" of this phase in his life and I believe you about how exhausting it can be. He still sleeps with the covers pulled up over his head, even in the baking hot summer temps we have here although he is generally outgrowing the fears slowly. It took a total of 6+ years for him to feel confident enough to sleep through the night in his own room.

It helped a little that we have a good alarm system and he is able to visibly check it every night before he sleeps. I second masterofnone's suggestion on physical activity. I'd like to add dietary considerations too. We added some omega3 and lots more fresh fruit to his diet. I have been concocting fresh fruit and vegetable juice recipes (and he helps me so it's become a fun thing to do) so that he can get more vegetables in his diet without cringing about the taste. And it helps him to have something light in his tummy before he goes to sleep as well.

We have a mattress in our room for him to come to whenever he feels like he needs us. Even these days outgrowing this, we still keep the bed there. It's always made up with pillows and blankets etc so he can sleep there whenever he needs to.

He has a little soft toy puppy that he talks to all the time so puppy goes with him everywhere (we homeschool so bringing it to school is not an issue for us). Gives him comfort. Night light and flashlight within easy reach in his bedroom. Lots of hugging and holding.

I remember feeling the fear when I was that age too. I'd sleep with towels wrapped around my neck because I was so afraid of vampires. It may take him some time but I don't know what else to add other than these suggestions, support and understanding.

Take care!

While on the topic of sleep, my 6 yo has started sleep walking. She got up a couple of nights ago, said something as she walked out to the hall, I called out and saw her go back in her room. I went in and she was in bed sound asleep. It was the second time we had an instance. She remembers nothing. And when she does wake during the night, she remembers and I have to tuck her back in. It is truly bizarre.

Ren

*smiling*

This reminds me of myself. My parents said I once came into the living room, clearly sleepwalking, and asked, "Is it nineteen or twenty?"

They told me, "It's nineteen, go back to bed." And I did! LoL

Another time, they heard the front door chain-lock being slid back. I was on my way out, apparently!

Sleep issues are the worst. I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this. DD11 went through a phase at about age 5 where she had trouble falling asleep and often had night terrors. She would get up but not really be awake in the middle of the night and start sobbing. She would have no memory of it in the morning. Other times, she would wake up for at least an hour in the middle of the night. She never slept past 6 am and didn't nap so she started getting more and more behind in sleep.

I read a bunch of sleep books at the time. We developed a very consistent, calming bedtime routine including a ritual to get rid of the monsters. We adopted a no excuses policy about when we needed to be home to get her in bed (this often was unpopular with grandparents and other families whose kids did not have sleep issues). We also had to tell her that she couldn't come in our room until 6 in the morning because when we let her come in to "snuggle" it kept getting earlier and earlier. If she came in, I just sent her right back to her room. I know some people make think this is harsh but everyone was getting so far behind in sleep that none of us could function. Eventually, DD settled down, started sleeping more consistently and the night terrors went away.

Oh, poor MsFriz--it's just so awful when they aren't sleeping--I feel for you.

I remember feeling comforted by a big, loudly ticking, wind-up alarm clock with a luminous dial when I was a child; I wonder if you can still get those?

Hope you're all sleeping better soon.

peace
minnie

We used dreamcatchers for a long time with DS8 -- first it was a crocheted blanket that his godmother made him, really loose weave with a variegated yarn that had sparkly bits, and we called it "Dreamcatcher". Then we had various real dreamcatchers that hung in his room. He also drew pictures of himself beating the monsters in fights, and hung those over his bed.

I never used Monster Spray, but I always liked the idea.

We didn't have the "wrap up in the sheet" thing, but that got me wondering, perhaps a sleeping bag might help? You can get those sleep-sack ones that zip into a hoodie type thing at the top, and he might feel really safe in one of those.

For the ordinary sleep troubles that don't involve monsters, Melatonin works wonders.

We have sleeep problems, too. DS10 has to have a memory foam pillow and certain sheets and blankets. We just came home from vacation in AZ and got a dreamcatcher, so we're going to hang that in his room.

His pediatrician said Melatonin 1 mg was fine to take when needed. We recently had 2 of his buddies sleep over and I found out later he gave both of them Melatonin to help them sleep! Yikes! We had a long talk about how the Melatonin was ok for him, but it was NOT OK to medicate your friends when they come for a sleepover

Hoping for sweet dreams in all of our homes!

We have used Monster spray ( a spray bottle filled with water or some febreeze or anything else we could find at the time lol). A few weeks ago dd7 said "momma there's no such things as monsters.. you werent' spraying anything". BUSTED.. but she hasn't woken up with monsters in abut 2 years. At one point we had to remove anything in her room that had eyes. DD5 never had monster problems. He just doesn't sleep more then 7 or 8 hours and no matter how late he goes to bed is up at 6:30.

Thank you for all the helpful suggestions and commiseration.

Unfortunately, exercise doesn't seem to do anything. He swam and played in the pool for several hours in 100+ degree heat yesterday and had his worst night yet.

I did buy a night light, and although he loves it, it doesn't seem to help.

We've also checked out some books from the library on how to deal with fears and anxiety but don't seem to be making any progress there either. Last night he had a complete meltdown.

It's looking more and more like he just doesn't want to be left alone in his bedroom at night. He doesn't want us to leave his room until he's "ready" (meaning has the sheet wrapped around him just so), but it's taking him longer and longer to get "ready" every night, so I'm starting to think it's just an excuse to keep us there. Last night, as a last resort, we ended up sitting with him until he fell asleep at bedtime and then again at 3 am.

Tonight I'm going to try playing classical music in his room to see if that helps make him feel less alone and vulnerable. The thought of having to stay with him until he's asleep brings back chilling memories of his first year, when he tried to kill us both by sleep deprivation! There's a reason he's an only child. Can't go back there!

MsFriz, if this is every night and getting worse instead of better, I'd suggest it's time to find someone to evaluate and treat the anxiety. Cognitive-behavior therapy is really good for this, and he's old enough to do it.

Trying more and more things to fix the situation (music, etc.) just reinforces for him that something big and important is going on, which will make him more wakeful and give the fear more control over him. He needs to learn that going to sleep is no big deal. CBT is the best way I know to re-tool one's thoughts and get them better aligned with reality.

DeeDee

Yeah, I think we'll give it maybe another week and then take him to the pediatrician to see if they can refer us to someone. I don't want this to go on into the school year.