The book thread had me recalling a time when I completely failed to see a major traumatizing event coming with my daughter.


She read Bridge to Terabithia as an assignment for a GT language arts class when she was 8, and that was the same year that the new movie was released. So I took her to see the movie one afternoon. BIG mistake. This entirely appropriate children's movie left her sobbing in the car on the way home. I felt horrible. Now, in my defense, this is a child that is so steadfast that we never have to worry about her emotional sensitivity... she is a ROCK and always has been.

A number of factors came together in the movie that hadn't in the book. She didn't identify much with Leslie in reading the novel. After all, Leslie's parents are rather free-spirit artistic types, and we are not. In the casting for the film, however, Disney created a perfect storm by more or less creating my DD's nuclear family on screen.

DD already knew that she could actually die (long story); that was not what traumatized her. She realized very abruptly what her death would mean to us, which had clearly never really occurred to her. She instantly seemed to jump to understanding that when one is LOVED by others, that means, on some level, that taking care with your well-being isn't just for your own sake. The bond of love also implies responsibility-- because you carry another person's heart and dreams with you all the time.

That afternoon took some of her childhood innocence, unfortunately.
It's a lesson that I'd have wanted her to learn, of course-- just not at eight years old.

______________________

So I'm wondering if others have had these kinds of situations come out of nowhere with a child suddenly manifesting an INTENSE emotional response to something that seemed like it should have been just fine.

What happened? What were you thinking at the time (as a parent)? What did you do to help your child? Do you feel guilty or okay about it now?

I don't have an Ooops moment for you, but I had to comment on the Bridge to Terabithia movie. I haven't read the book, but I thought I'd preview the movie since it was on cable, to see if DS might like it. It was horribly sad! I was sobbing. I don't know if I'd file it under "entirely appropriate children's movie." I guess I should also say that cry at some commercials....

Well, OK. I thought of some things, but since we just rearranged our own behaviors so much, I kind of put this out of mind. Until DS turned 5, he could not stand it if his clothes got wet. At all. As in a few drops of water on his shirt or pants. He was scream "SHIRT WET!!!!! or PANTS WET!!!!!!!" and then he would remove the offending item(s). Wherever we were. Loads of fun in crowds. And, as I mentioned before, we just modified our behavior in such extraordinary ways to avoid the possibility of small child getting wet, and we carried spare clothes everywhere.

Not anything we did, so we don't feel guilty about it, but definitely an inappropriate intense response to something that seemed like it should have been fine. He had noise OEs too.

LOL-- yes, well, I cry at books, tv, and movies, too. (Poor hubby thought "City of Angels" was a great date-night movie when I was about eight months pregnant and riding high on hormones. Yikes-- I was a blubbering mess...) DD is generally so solid, though. This was just "too real" for her because of individual quirky circumstance, I guess.


Also laughing at the water. DD was like that as well. You're absolutely right about how much fun that was when we were out and about.

Even at 11, she still tends to change when she gets the edge of a sleeve wet or something. I do more "clean" laundry, I swear...

I don't know, my boys did not read the book Bridge to Terabithia, but they saw the movie. The movie practically traumatized both! I had no idea they would have such a strong reaction. The oldest was seven and the youngest five, and I had never read or seen the movie, so I had no idea the girl died. We were on vacation and we decided to watch the movie in the hotel tv. Needless to say, the rest of the vacation was ruined. It took a couple of weeks for them to shake off the movie. That was the last time that we saw a movie that I didn't research online first. It was traumatizing to me...

Ah, yes, the Great Santa Debacle. Last year, my DD (then 7) was asking a lot of questions about the Big Three: the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, and Santa. I figured she was pretty much on to us. I had always said that if my kids straight out asked me if one of the Big Three was real, I'd answer honestly (unfortunately, I hadn't yet heard my friend's excellent advice to always respond "What do you believe?").

So my daughter's getting into the car, and she asks out of the blue, "Mom, is the Tooth Fairy real?" I took a deep breath and told her. I don't think I'll ever forget the complete look of devastation and betrayal on her face. She kept saying, "But I thought you'd say yes, she's real!" From there it was a slippery slope--first the Easter Bunny, then, most traumatically, Santa.

I actually posted about this on this board a few months ago: there was a time (maybe four or five weeks) when DD would cry about this every night, asking painful questions ("Why did you lie to me?") and saying heartwrenching things ("I feel like all of the magic has gone out of the world"). We talked a lot about deeper truths and everyday magic, and I think now she's okay. But, um, yeah, that was definitely intense!

Oh my goodness! Same response to the same movie from my DD8. She watched it last year at a friend's house and we had to go and pick her up. She had trouble falling asleep and she was very moody for about two weeks afterward. She said that she just kept replaying the movie in her head and she could feel her heart hurting. She still can't talk about the movie without crying. I felt really sorry for her friend's mother. She tries hard to understant DD and really loves her, but this one left her shaking her head. She can't wrap her head around why DD was so upset for so long.

The other over-the-top emotional response occurred when we moved in November. We had been talking about it for a long time and she helped us pick out the new house and was making plans for her new room. She seemed really excited. The last night in our old house, I tucked her into bed and she just lost it. She cried for at least two hours. What I could get out of her was that she had just realized that she would never sleep in the house again and that it was such an important part of her life. "This is where I grew my soul!" It has been three months and she has only just now acknowledged that the new house is beginning to feel like home. She cried herself to sleep for weeks.

Funny how you never know exactly how they will react.

We pretty much swore off Disney films when my daughters were little. They were too "powerful". Actually, my HG dd11 still won't watch TV or a movie, but that's more about how she is wired than the content of the entertainment.

You might check out Dove.org for movie ratings/appropriateness. The site lists a content chart and descriptions that gauge six criteria: Sex, Language, Violence, Drug and alcohol use, Nudity, and Other. It truly gives you every detail (the number of times it shows cleavage or a character uses "language".)

And yes, although I can't remember specific examples, I do remember emotional reactions from my dd so "out of proportion" to the event that we were a little panicked. We didn't know what was going on. Now that she's been "identified" (and since I've been reading this forum we understand her so much better.

In our case, we know she is sensitive, but it's very hard to predict what will set her off. Charlotte dying in Charlotte's Web = fine. The Ingalls family leaving their house in the big woods and moving on to a new adventure = gallons of tears.

DD is somewhat infamous for being the 5yo who became completely hysterical when read The Giving Tree at preschool. (I hate that book.) To this day, she doesn't like to even SEE the cover.

Two oops that stand out.

1. At around age two DS was watching Pinocchio (Disney Version) and this bouncy never sit still for a minute toddler is on the couch literally sobbing - because Geppetto was swallowed by the whale. Same thing happened during Jungle Book when he saw Ka hypnotizing Mowgli. It stuck out so much because he was not a child who cried very much over things you would expect.

2. Both DS and DD at ages 6 & 7 watch King Kong - new version. No one is scared but at the end they are both hysterical and crying because he died and can not get over how horribly he was treated by the people.

I have two older children and I don't recall any incidents like this but of course they are no in their twenties so perhaps my memory is not quite up to snuff.

I think that one is horribly sad as well. Re the next post, we've never been able to watch King Kong at my house either which ticks dh off tremendously. I think that the kids, and I, both have a harder time watching people abuse sentient beings who cannot defend themselves. Oddly enough, both of my girls were fine with Bridge to Terabithia and actually even watched Schindler's List without horrible trauma. What they have a harder time with is things like King Kong which has become an arguement with dh as the kids have referred to it as "a horrible story of animal abuse."

Despite discord at home w/ dh about this, we've just turned things like that off mid-movie and never finished them. I can see how, in the OP's situation, it's too late for that and Bridge to Terabithia kind of throws the death at you by surprise. We generally found that the type of existential angst caused by things like that couldn't be smoothed over with lies about how something like that would never happen and feeling helpless made it worse when dds were young. I tried to give dds' ways to effect changes in the horrible things they learned of and felt powerless over -- like raising money for genocide victims for instance.

I'm trying to think if there is a way to offer her power over this. Without involving her with people who've lost loved ones, which might make her dwell more, would it be possible for her to volunteer some time for people or animals who don't have someone who loves them as much as she does? Visit old people in nursing homes who don't have family around? We've redirected some of the concern my dds' have about animal abuse to volunteering at the humane society so they feel like they are doing something for those who aren't taken care of even if they can't rescue pit bulls in fighting rings, for instance.

Cricket,

So glad you posted about King Kong as well. I never looked at it that way but it makes sense - the injustice to the innocent and defenseless. And isn't it kind of amazing that they see a 50ft. ape as defenseless? I imagine they empathize with others who do not have the power to be heard/understood or to control what goes on in their lives.

They did cry at Bridge to Terabithia as well but more sad and teary eyed. King Kong had them crying and begging "Why, Mommy?"

I love that you are involving your children in activities that help them feel like they can make a difference and stand up for others who cannot stand for themselves.

DS5 was terribly crushed when his Siberian hamster died. That was his first introduction to death. He's always been philosophically interested in ideas concerning death, isolation, etc. but that made it personal.

As for media, he's totally fine with what most people would think are high levels of sadness-inducing topics. I think this is because since he was very small, I let him watch a lot of movies with advanced themes. I shield him from gory stuff, but that's about it.

Both of my DDs have been incredibly sensitive. I still vividly remember DD11 sobbing when she watched Horton Hears a Who as a toddler. She couldn't understand why the mean monkeys would steal the Whos from Horton. We had to make a big deal when we returned that one to the library. DD11 seems to have grown out of most of it. DD9 still is incredibly sensitive. She gets stressed out in movies when the kids are in trouble or something bad happens. She would never be able to sit through the Terabitha movie -- she would walk out or hide behind the couch. We have to be very careful when they show movies at school as a "treat" (read torture for her). We have to talk her through the whole story ahead of time so that she will have time to process the outcome.

Yes, exactly. I think it was just suddenly, shockingly personal; at this point, DD's experience with bereavement and grief was quite limited. My DD is ordinarily the same kind of child. She's very pragmatic, and while she is extremely empathetic and compassionate, she just doesn't dissolve into a puddle of tears over much of anything. She copes very well with heavy-weight emotional content-- even things that many adults struggle to process.

We truly had no idea that the movie would bother her. She just hadn't ever looked at it quite that way, and her (correct) conclusions really overwhelmed her.

She has known that she could die since she was a toddler (she has nearly died). She'd not considered what that would be like from another's perspective, though, and the movie unlocked that awareness all of a sudden; the result was horrified epiphany. Her precocious understanding of her own mortality made it a terrifyingly plausible scenario, as though a crevasse had opened at her feet. Afterwards, we talked a great deal about the choices we make to keep her safe, and why we want her to make those things a habit, too. We do what we can and then we have to let go of of the 'what ifs,' because life is for living. This seemed to be enough for her, but she definitely took a while to return to equilibrium.

I think that others are right-- it's a matter of cognitively having the ability understand that there are some things which just can't be made "okay" in any sense, but without the relative maturity to bear that understanding with the composure and life experience of adulthood. Some truths just have to be held inside like bitter little pills of understanding, without sweetening them to make it easier. (Human beings are capable of terrible acts of cruelty and savagery, we can't love without vulnerability, there are many things we cannot ever hope to control, and there are things that cannot be "taken back" once done.)

Then again, the world might be a very different place if more adults had full cognitive awareness of those things, too.
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Ahhhh, yes. Santa/The Tooth Fairy/EB-- when our GT children ask us questions, we are so conditioned to assume that means that they are ready to hear the answers, and sometimes we get it wrong. I know someone else whose 9yo son was traumatized by learning the 'truth' about Santa, as well. It took them a couple of years to get him past it, and they have horrible guilt about not understanding how devastated he'd be by having his belief stripped from him.

It's a good reminder that my DD may converse like a little adult-- but she is still very much a child.

So, DS sorted out the hoof-to-table thing way early. He pointed at a fish in the grocery store at nine months, and asked "ded?" Then there were a few other reasons we knew he'd gotten the concept. But he didn't seem bothered by it.

Then, recently, we went to the whale exhibit at a local museum. There was a cartoon of some maori myth that involved someone chopping a piece off a living whale and eating it. Apparently that was the missing peice, because half a lifetime after the original grocery store moment, we had this long drawn out thing about death and eating meat. He's over it now. Today was the day of distinguishing "meat" from "meet." I have never heard so many "meat" puns in a day. He also sorted out that his feet were meat, so... I guess that means he's got the whole she-bang. Or at least the idea of how thewhole she-bang goes together.

-Mich

This thread was making me think about all the ooops moments! and how different my kids are. My DS could never watch disney movies or any movies where a character got yelled or in trouble. he would run from the room covering his years. My biggest oops was when he was in kindergarten i was singing "sunrise, sunset" from Fiddler on the Roof. He totally lost it. he started crying and got so hysterical I had to put him to bed early. Now, my DD....was home from school sick during kindergarten and was watching Jurrasic Park...crying during the scene where the kids were being attacked by the Trex, She said "the poor dinosaur....he's just hungry...."

Also got me thinking about dealing with my kids existential crises. they seem so young to be dealing with such things. and so wholeheartedly effected by it. My DS at 6 gave a eulogy at his great grandma's memorial service but the crises didn't seem to hit him until about 6 months later.

We would often need debriefing time after a movie or story that was intense and would have to discuss the whys of the characters.



I change it up as kid knows some author/writer wrote it. So we discuss why the author made character do this/that or why the director made the actors show how they feel about this/that.

We try to make it less "real" as it isn't "real". But yes, kid has had some reactions but now that time has passed, phew, all seems ok for now.

We had something like this happen last night, and I was completely taken off-guard, since for the last couple of years, I can reason DS through such things, as long as he's healthy and not in some crisis mode from something.

DS9's wrestling coach was giving the kids their end of year trophies, and made a speech about each kid as he presented them. When DS9 came up, he said that DS was "like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde" -- he's the kid who reads all the time and wins the spelling bee, but he's ferocious on the mat.

Afterwards, DS9 asked me (not surprisingly) if he could read Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I told him I hadn't read it myself, but I would think it might be a bit scarier than he would like. He asked me to explain, and I told him it had murders in it. He told me that he's read other books with murders (e.g., Harry Potter, LoTR, Agatha Christie) and hasn't been scared. I told him I thought this might be different, but I could check it out. He asked for a synopsis and I told him my recollection of the storyline albeit from the old movie -- Dr. Jekyll is a good person and a scientist. He takes some kind of potion/drug that he's concocted and unexpectedly turns into a monstrous man that they call Mr. Hyde. In response to further inquiries from DS9 asking what makes it scary and what kind of monster Mr. Hyde is, I explained that I believe Mr. Hyde kills people. DS9 lost it saying how could coach compare him to that.

I explained that the term "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde" is commonly used to refer to people who have unexpected combinations of traits. The coach was trying to say that while many people may stereotype kids who like to read and learn as mild-mannered, anyone who thinks they'll have an easy time wrestling DS9 because he's "the kid with his nose in a book all the time" will be in for a huge surprise, because DS9 is a fierce competitor. I explained that the coach sincerely meant it as a compliment. DS9 couldn't stop crying, and had a horrible time getting to sleep. He said he never wants to read the book, not because of the murders, but because a good person turns into someone so bad, and someone had compared him to that.

Oh dear, Mama22gs, hugs to you and your son!

In terms of Oops moments, In retrospect letting DS watch The Little Mermaid was a big mistake. He has taken the fish are friends not food rule WAY to far. For several years, if DH and I had fish for dinner, he would scream and then fall apart because we were eating Nimo's friends. No amount of reasoning helped. Today, he still won't eat fish but at least manages not to gag if he sees it on the table.

In my family I am constantly ridiculed for leaving the theater in the middle of Pete's Dragon when I was 13. (of course, I left in the middle of almost every movie they ever took me to see.) To this day, I haven't been able to get them to realize that the movie made me too sad, NOT scared. Reading the above posts, I am better able to understand why I reacted the way I did to movies

Thanks, I needed that.

And, I know what you mean about fish, although with DS7, he thinks eating fish is OK, but has trouble with chicken and beef. I find it odd, because he's completely OK with going fishing, and both cleaning and eating what he catches, or going to the fish market and picking out something to eat that still looks like a fish. I would think THAT would be troublesome. Somehow, though, he thinks that killing chickens and cows for food is evil, while fishing is OK.

Frankly, I've not been willing to question it, because I don't want his aversion to affect his willingness to at least eat fish. He has food allergies, so getting protein in him is challenging as it is.

I second the hugs Mama22gs and elh0706 - we had the same issue with Disney - we don't do any Disney movies - even toy Story for DS5 because of talking him to the live musical version of Finding Nemo at Disney World - beautiful sets, music, I figured DS at 3 would love it - OMG - 5 minutes into it - "what happened to the mommy, what happened to the mommy" It was awful, I felt like an idiot for forgetting about it. Nowadays DS knows that some stuff is too scary for him and some other stuff just makes him think too much before bed so its for earlier in the day.

The problem we have now is not with Disney since we don't do movies - but all the older mysteries, magic, sci fi books which he would love but all seem to have orphans!!! I am not ready to have another conversation about where the parents went!!!

DeHe

Oh boy, we have had a ton of oops - you would think we would learn.
Disney films, books, Santa and pals, classical music concerts - you name it I think we've had it.

When DD8 was 5 we were at a town band concert and they had a handbell chior. I use to conduct a chior when we lived overseas so she was pretty excited to see one again. Well, then they did a duet - it was a lovely piece, but before they were 1/4 of the way through it she had crawled into my lap and was sobbing hystericaly into my shoulder about how could anyone write such sad music and how could they play this without crying. It tooks a few days for her to calm down over it - she kept hearing it in her mind.

We avoided the "Bridge" issue because the day we were supposed to go see it a friend called as we were walking out the door and warned us not to go - thank goodness. Since then she has been given the book twice! We haven't let her read it because I think she will identify with the girl too much and not be able to handle it either.

She now acts as the "emotional police" for DD3 and makes DH shut things off if she thinks it is going to get too "bad" for her. She also snuggles with her through parts of movies that she remembers scaring her or bothering her.

When we've moved she has been known to take parts of the house with her! One time she took a small piece of leftover carpet, another time it was some dirt from the backyard and leaves from her favorite tree. She then claims that there will be no other house for her in her whole life. And it has taken her upwards of a month to accept the new place as home.

DD3 also seems to have attachments to our houses - she still, after 8 months claims to hate our new house and loves our other house and wants to move back.

The first few times we had cases of this we were so shocked I'm sure we didn't react well, but I have gotten much better at recognizing them for what they are and giving lots of hugs and empathy to her to help her overcome them.

I think that I jinxed myself on this one. After saying that DD11 seems to have outgrown this stuff, we had a scene last night. We went to a relative's house yesterday and had a couple hours in the car up and back. We listened to an audio recording of "A Wind in the Door." DD has read this book a couple times but for some reason listening to it being read by someone else really got to her. She was sobbing because she was so upset about Charles Wallace being sick and how horrible she would feel if one of her siblings were ill. Then she went into a diatribe on being part of a gifted family and how they have to stick together because no one else understands them. I was stunned.

We recently spent time with several families in a vacation house. Someone kept putting in dvds of "kids" movies, of the monsters inc, kung fu panda variety. My DS5, who doesn't watch tv or movies, watched about 10 min of monsters inc and asked me if we could turn it off because it was "too scary". We couldn't do that with 8 other kids watching the movie, so he and I went a few feet away and started working on origami.

At home we do watch some sports on tv, and used to make him turn away for gory, violent commercials (which he did without minding). Recently we've told him he can decide what he doesn't want to watch/finds too scary, and look away. we still keep an eye out for particularly graphic ones and confirm that he's not looking.

anyway, this last movie incident got me thinking about my father's assertion that DS is living a too sheltered life. My view has been that I'd rather he use his excellent imagination and books we read to drive his play, rather than the (mostly) crappola that's on tv and in movies. But is there anything to the too sheltered life argument?

I had to laugh at this one because my son was the same. Except instead of saying "shirt wet" he would scream, "It burrrrnnnnnsss" and sounded just like Gollum from Lord of the Rings.


As for the oops and making life sheltered, it comes naturally for me because I myself have problems in most movies. If in a theater, I will leave if it gets too sad. I am EXTREMELY careful with what DS watches because of how I feel. Depite that, DS also was very scared with Monsters, Inc. and Polar Express. Nan

We have some oops moments - I have never shown DS(4) the beginning of Nemo. he will not cope with it. When he saw UP he kept asking where the lady was. When I told him, he was close to tears for her. So now we always skip past the early movie bits. And he ALWAYS asks me to switch off movies that are too violent/scary for him. I like to think he has learnt his limits here. but still if he sees something that worries him on tv, he always turns to me for reassurance and says "its not real, it's just on tv hey mom?" was a bit of a problem with the recent floods in Australia when he walked in as I was watching the footage of this.

His hamster died last year and since he knows that my father died when I was little he is convinced that his hamster is with his grandpa. he knows about death and its finality, but kept asking when they will come back. To me it's sad when he says "I wish my grandfather was here to see my beautiful bedroom and my precious things" - it breaks my heart and brings back the pain of his death. BUT for others who hear my 4 year old talk confidently about his grandfather and hamster being dead - they are totally freaked out by it. lol

Two big oops moments that I had as a child that my mother reminds me of often: when I was about 14 someone at church had just had a baby and apparently told us all about childbirth, how painful it is blah blah. I don't recall that part but I do remember going home and sobbing about how much pain my mother went through to have me and how terrible I felt for being a typical teenager earlier that week. She said that I sobbed for nearly an hour in her arms about that.

The other, also as a youth group we went to a baby haven to do a service project. I came home sobbing at these little babies that had no one to love them and asked my mom if we could adopt or foster one. My mom was already at this stage in her mid 50's and a single mom.. so it was not an option, but she says that she was overwhelmed at how emotional I was about all this hurt in the world and how UNFAIR life seemed.

I am also totally moved by movies and books - I cried like a baby in brother bear. And Beyond Borders (Angelina Jolie) - had me sobbing and sad for months! When I read Harry Potter 6 after I finished the book, late at night in bed, I lay down, put my arm over DH's sleeping body and cried. He woke up stressed that something had happened and all I could say was "he died!! I cant believe he died!" he was a bit ticked off when he realised I was talking about a book and not our child sleeping in the next room...

so it's definitely a big thing to learn to deal with all this emotion when viewed with a mind so much older than our kids are.

Myself:
On a road trip, I must have been around 6. My parents checked into the motel and were probably very happy that a Peanuts special was on--Snoopy Come Home. I became hysterical because I identified with the little girl and thought Snoopy should have stayed with her. I sobbed for hours. My parents still talk about it!

DD9--the Shrek movie/ride thing at Universal Studios when she was around 6. It was 3D and she freaked out. We had to leave. Other than that no issues with her b/c we are a lot alike and I was pretty sensitive to her sensitivities.

dd3--seeing Tangled. She is adopted. If you saw the movie you know why this could be an issue for gifted 3-yr. old. I was kicking myself for bringing her.

I'm so glad I'm not the only one! I vividly remember being inconsolable when Snoopy was told, "No Dogs Allowed!"

DS5 watched Toy Story 1 on a plane ride by himself and really enjoyed it. So we took him and DS3 as a special treat to see Toy Story 3 at a movie theater. Both got so scared of the 'bad' toys that we had to leave half way through the movie.

We were given some front row tickets to a musical performance only to realize that the noise level completely overwhelmed both kids. Within 5-10 mins they wanted to leave - once we moved to the 'cheap' places in the very back they were fine.

Thank you for posting as it helps to realize that there are many of us out there dealing with these issues.

Mr W was 2.5 yrs old when we took him to see TS3. He got really upset as well, so he sat in my lap and I whispered in his ear, telling him things will work out fine. He was later glad he sat through to the end.

He also had issues with the witch in Tangled and I did the same thing. When we went a 2nd time, he talked to himself, telling himself, "Its OK. It will work out."

DH took DD, then 4, to see Wall e. Having taken her to many movies and watched many Disney princess movies with witches and evil stepmothers, we didn't expect this but she had to leave in the first minutes. The opening scene where Wall e sees devastation in his homeland looked a lot like NYC and my daughter freaked.

So you never know what freaks out a kid.

Ren

Oh, my, yes-- I just remembered another one from when DD was very young.

We have lived on the west coast for well over a decade, so DD only has fragmented memories of living anywhere else, and she's never seen anything on the east coast other than on television.

She caught about 15 minutes of here-and-there random coverage of 9/11 when she was just two (nightly news, and some live coverage day-of). She asked questions about it at the time, but we were deliberately VERY vague, other than to note that HUMANS caused the buildings to collapse, not natural causes (this was shortly after the Nisqually quake locally). Four months later, we were driving somewhere on a road trip, and she began WAILING from the back seat of the car after we passed a pulp mill along the highway.

When I calmed her down to a point of coherence, my then 2 yo explained that the very tall stack of the pulp mill had elicited fear that "the building would fall down."

I realized after a few minutes that she simply had no experience with the scale of true skyscrapers, and that she was associating the relative height and profile of the emission smokestack with the mental image that she had, "just like the buildings on TV that fell down when the bad men flew the airplanes into them."

My mind still boggles at this-- she was so little, and it had been so long, and she (I didn't think) had been given enough information to put any of this together.

(This was the same road trip where she later swore viciously at her inability to escape from her car seat, by the way. )

That movie was horrible. I could not believe she died!
My DS8 was so upset and so was I.
He kept saying but why did she have to die.
I kept waiting for that happy ending that never came.