So my kiddo (DD10) was already skipped once in elementary school and it worked out great - no issues at all (except the usual "not challenging enough academically) We had high hopes for academic magnet school that she got into but work was not challenging/interesting or at her level period. So I've spoke with the school trying to get her appropriate placement at least in math for next year (Algebra 1, 7th grade advanced class in this school). After chain of events somehow schools decided to place her in 7th grade for everything, skipping 6th grade. Honestly, this was not my intention! Kiddo is absolutely happy and begging me to allow it. I am terrified. I read all the threads here and lots of studies but still very uneasy about it. I am not even sure why I am so scared. First time she skipped I was quite content and happy. This time she will be 10 year old in 7th grade... Any positive stories, happy endings or advices will be appreciated!!! Or cautionary tales too! P.S. English is my second language so I apologies for mistakes...

This is pretty much how our DC's second effective grade skip occurred. We were advocating for an SSA in mathematics for our already-early-entered rising fourth grader, which the school agreed to. On the first day of school, DC came home with an all-fifth grade schedule. (8 yo in fifth grade roster of multi-grade classroom ranging up to 7th graders.) After an additional SSA in math the following year, the net result was also a 10 yo in 7th grade, in algebra I.

Of course, every child and school is different, but ours had a generally positive experience. Supportive factors: small, cozy, nurturing school with multi-grade classrooms and teachers accustomed to multi-level instruction. Caring mix of children in the receiving class.

Has your school used the Iowa Acceleration Scale to help discuss and evaluate factors for likely success of the grade skip?

You mentioned reading threads here. This old post lists many threads on acceleration.

Not a full-grade skip, but our child will be in seventh grade in three classes (basically half the school day) assuming he stays in the same school this fall. He will turn 10 just before school starts. He's been in a two-grade skip in those classes for about two school years. It's worked very well as far as getting along with the older children in class. It was a bit harder while he learned to manage the work requirements but he did do so. He can't imagine being in a lower grade for those classes.

I'd take comfort in the fact that your child is excited about this additional skip. Perhaps talking with her and the school about how to test the skip out for a trial period and what will determine for all if it is a good thing would help?

My son was homeschooled for K-4 and then went to a very small private school for 6th and 8th grades (skipped 5th on entry and then skipped 7th). He was accelerated three years in math (so he did Algebra I the first year and geometry the second).

The math placement was correct, but the other classes, even with the second skip, were hit and miss in terms of an appropriate level of challenge--and the pace was always too slow. But the executive skills required, for him at least, bordered on too much. It's not that he couldn't do it, but I did have to orchestrate homework and planning a bit more that I'd like. We ended up homeschooling again after that 8th grade year.

It's been two years now, and he will be 9th grade age in the fall. He has decided to go to the public high school as a 9th grader. This way he can be with his group of friends from the public homeschool support program he attended in K-4. Most of his classes will be things he's had before, and he tells me he's ok with that (this is the same kid who would have a meltdown if the work in our homeschool was even the slightest bit too easy or repetitive). To the school's credit, they actually placed him appropriately in math without me having to do much in the way of advocacy.

A friend once told me that her philosophy was to place her (HG+) kids where they'd do best socially because the academic piece would always be a poor fit. When she told me that, I thought she was nuts, but now I see her point.

With the caveat that all kids are different...


Oh man. I was/am so there. Our DD, now 15, skipped 2nd and 6th grade. Even now that she is an extremely successful post-11/pre-12th grader, who is thriving at school - I still have those worries that I have already or am going to mess things up for my kiddo. I think those fears will continue to be around until post-college. And the kicker is almost all of the stories I can tell you are positive ones.

Socially - she totally fits in with the class of 2017 (especially the nerds/geeks). Heck, even she says that she is the most mature of her friend group. At age 14, she was picked to be drum major for the marching band (and will be the returning drum major for this year).

Academically - she just finished 11th grade and she has enough credit hours to graduate. She actually has acquired more right now than most of the graduating seniors did. And I should point out, her mother and I are not forcing her in this - she just cannot fathom not taking every single class you can cram into your schedule - and for her the best part of summer is the JHU-CTY Intensive Studies camp.

Kids who were great candidates for one grade skip are often (especially when the grade skip occurred in elementary) great candidates for a second grade skip. My DD15 was, and it sounds like your DD10 may also be. By the end of HS, you may look back and think she could have even skipped a third time (though, for us, self-selecting classes in HS has allowed for adding rigor without doing another skip).

For me the worry of making the wrong choice has not gone away, luckily I am even more fearful of holding my kid back from being successful. Though I will say, when DD was in 8th grade and took three HS classes, it was really trippy for me to drop my 11 year old off at the high school and see seniors with full beards walking into school at the same time.

PM me if you want - I have lots of stories I could share, but I've probably typed plenty already.

Best of luck,
-S.F.

. They did not use this scale. Kiddo did take Iowa algebra aptitude test before they said yes to Algebra next year but my guess that after hearing teachers comments and looking into her scores/assessments in all subjects principle felt like this is the best option for her. In theory she is a perfect candidate for another skip. She passed this math test without any preparation and not knowing what to expect, her comprehension at 12th grade level, she is amazing speller, loves science (chemistry, physics, geology). Loves programming (into Java and 3D design... Maturity level and class work ethic is well above her age... SFrog actually verbalized my fares exactly! This fear is more emotional than fact driven!

SFrog - these are exactly my thoughts! Thank you for sharing- this really helps to put things in perspective and verbalize my fears: I am afraid to make a wrong choice. My kiddo is good with everyone but has hard time connecting with age peers (or kids that are year older anyway). So she might find better fit socially with older kids. Your daughter sounds like mine in terms of maturity What you told me calmed me a little - just to see that I am not the only one with these fears and there were others who went through the same. I am so afraid I am robbing her of childhood and rushing things along...

The Iowa Acceleration Scale (IAS) considers both academic/intellectual and social/emotional characteristics. Going through the process with the school, and knowing that all factors were considered, may help set your mind at ease.

I have a call with principle to ask some questions tomorrow so I will ask if this is something that is available in this school. I doubt they have it set up though. This is academic magnet so they don't do skips kids often but it will not hurt to ask, of course!

How many years it has been since you skipped your child? How is your DC doing academically and socially, if you don't mind me asking?

DC stayed in that school through the seventh grade, doing well, and then has been home schooled since, not so much because of social difficulties with the placement, but because that private school ended at the 8th grade, and had no math offerings (other than independent virtual school online) beyond algebra I. And our public schools were not realistic options for us. We maintained a loose association with the school, mainly for social reasons, for a few years after moving to home schooling, which was positive. If the school had had grades through high school, it is highly likely that we would have stayed with it for at least a couple more years.

This particular DC is very social, and moves easily and gracefully in and out of a wide range of social situations, including much older (participates in adult community groups, as a peer, and has since very early adolescence) and much younger communities.

If the school is not familiar with the IAS, this is a great link to share: https://www.accelerationinstitute.org/Resources/IAS.aspx

As an academic magnet, the school may also be interested in Davidson's Educators Guild. This is a supportive path for teachers to explore the concept of gifted education in depth.

My eldest skipped two grades, and we're both of two minds about it. On the one hand, it was a big help academically. On the other hand, when he started reaching higher grades (8th), it got harder on him. He was still a small kid and his male classmates were having growth spurts and getting deep voices. Most of the girls were bigger than him. That sort of thing. Later, some people started reacting to the skips and not seeing him as a person.

My daughter has only skipped one grade, but her birthday is so late, she's still younger than the kids a grade behind her. She has some of the same frustrations my son has had. These frustrations have developed as she's become older and more aware of herself and the world around her. In some ways, both kids regret the skips. In some ways, they don't. We encourage my daughter to take a gap year after high school or to spend an extra year in a local dual enrollment program, as my son is.

Grade skips aren't easy decisions. I understand that many people say that their kids do fine, but it's important to remember that not all kids do well, especially during adolescence when everyone else is growing in ways that you can't conceive of yet, and talking about subjects that you don't understand for physiological reasons. This is why, IMO, it's important to get input from people with older kids. I thought that two skips was a great idea when my eldest was in 6th grade. Not so much two years later. Now I just see shades of grey.

I understand that the academics can be mind-numbing for a non-skipped child and that lack of a skip creates its own problems. It's just that I advise against considering only academics when considering a skip, or allowing yourself to be swayed by enthusiasm of others. In other words, weigh lots of factors carefully.

I'm sorry that I can't be more helpful, but it's complex question.

I agree with Val on this - sorry I can't give you a straight-up positive story, but you did ask for cautionary too. My caution doesn't come from my own children - we chose not to grade accelerate based on the experiiences of friends' children who'd been 1-2 grades accelerated early on, in early-mid elementary, with parents enthusiastic and eager for the advanced academics, only to have the parents begin to regret the decision as their children went through middle school and on into high school because of the age difference compared to classroom peers. If your dd is excited about the skip, II'd definitely consider it, but I would first think through how you feel about potential social situations - puberty/hormones/school dances/dating/friends having drivers licenses etc. Consider where you think she's at in terms of sexual awareness etc - is she ready for all that comes with kids - friends and boys who might want to date her - moving through puberty (personality can be really significant here). After you have your own thoughts sorted out, if you feel you're ok with the skip in terms of both social and academic situation, talk to your dd about the full circle of what moving up again means - when will she be dating/driving/etc compared to the other kids in her class, how will she feel about that, what rules will you have re riding with friends driving etc and how will she feel about it - all of those things.

Academics in grade school were incredibly frustrating at times for 2 of my kids - the pace of classroom discussion was slow, they couldn't learn at their own speed, and my ds in particular was very annoyed by being in class with students who didn't "get it" as quickly as he did. Once they reached middle school, however, subject acceleration became an option and once they hit high school it was much easier to find programs and classes that met their needs without requiring grade skips.

So - coming back around to academics, it sounds like the issue with your dd started with subject acceleration in math as the primary need. How does your dd feel about the other subjects she's in at school? Does she feel bored etc? How does she think things will be different by skipping a grade with respect to science, history, language arts etc? There are also other things you might want to consider (depending on your dd's interests) - for instance, if she's in band, is the high school band competitive? Will she potentially not get into the upper level band as soon as she would have if she stayed in her current grade and had one more year of middle school band? (I know that might sound beyond silly to some, but the whole key is - this is a very individual situation.) I would also ask your dd what it is she wants from skipping another grade. Be sure you understand what it means to her, and that that is something you feel is a reasonable expectation. One thing my kids found out through subject acceleration is - just because you've moved up a technical level, doesn't mean you've moved up into a classroom with kids who are all thinking as quickly as you'd like. Ultimately for my kids, the thing that made the most impact in their education was being placed in gifted classrooms with high ability students, rather than specific grade level.

Last thing I'll add is what ultimately made the difference for me in deciding not to have my kids skip - I don't want them leaving home before they have to. Sounds hopelessly selfish I'm sure, but I only have this one set of kids to raise, and once they get to high school you really realize how quickly our time with them at home passes. I'd give anything to add on years of high school just to have them home longer... maybe they aren't as far ahead technically in math or science or whatever as some equally-capable other kids are, but in spite of not skipping and having had those elementary years of academic frustration, they haven't lost their love for learning and they haven't lost their motivation. The key for them was more in finding engaging classrooms and equally capable peers when possible rather than simply grade-skipping up the ladder.

Please know I'm not trying to be discouraging - just offering you a few things to think through. Chances are if your dd wants to do the skip and the school says she's ready, she's ready. If you think it through and are comfortable with it, do it and don't look back - she'll be fine.

Best wishes,

polarbear

This is very eloquent.

Unambiguously positive story here. My DS entered kindergarten a year early and then had a second skip from 4th to 5th, so he's 11 and will be going into 8th grade. So far, I don't have any doubts or second thoughts--DS is thriving academically and extremely happy socially. He can't imagine being in a lower grade and would have to be dragged there kicking and screaming.

But we've also had just about everything going for us. DS attends a small, nurturing, incredibly flexible K-12 private school where age means very little and kids are used to radical skips. Also, DS has had no 2E issues, is very comfortable in his own skin and in the world and has always been very mature. Even with two skips under his belt, his teacher has told us that he's the most mature kid in the class and that his love of learning has actually rubbed off on other, older kids.

Of course, puberty could complicate things, but I'm taking all of this one year at a time, and right now we're good all around. I don't worry about him graduating early because I had always hoped he'd do an exchange program during high school; now, we're just planning for that to fill a gap year.

My own experience has also shaped my decisionmaking. My mom was offered and declined skips for me, and by my junior year in high school I was going-out-of-my-mind ready for college.

Very eloquent. It makes me sad to be somewhere those classrooms don't exist.

My son skipped third, and is sort of skipping seventh next year. They are creatively scheduling him and I think officially he will be a seventh grader but some classes will be eighth grade and some 9th with only one seventh grade class. He was pretty depressed last year. Hoping we can turn it around.

I won't rehash my own whole story here, but highlights from my own experience and the experiences of my siblings, with multiple grade skips/radical acceleration:

1. The social adjustment was easiest for females.
2. Having a strong, stable peer social community outside of the schooling environment moderated (did not eliminate) the social impact of multiple skips.
3. For at least one sibling, widening the social gap with additional skips was the least-worst alternative to intellectual asphyxiation. Asynchrony is going to be a factor one way or the other; minimizing academic mismatch was more important for these particular learners at those particular times. That's a conversation that needs to be had: which aspect of asynchrony is the least/most detrimental at this time.
4. It was vitally important, if not absolutely essential, to have informed consent from the child. One of us was offered a placement that would have resulted in full-time matriculation into college at 13, but declined it, on the basis of a thoughtful self-assessment of social-emotional maturity, entering the program a year later, instead. In retrospect, that was a wise joint decision between parents and child.
5. You can only make decisions based on the needs of the child in front of you right now. Available resources, and more importantly, the child's needs, can change very quickly. A skip (or no skip) now doesn't necessarily lock you into any particular path.

I want to echo this sentiment from aeh. I would advise that, if a skip is available now, the cognitive abilities that justify that option will still be present in future should that option not be exercised now.

Through middle school, I was only accelerated one grade. My parents had unsuccessfully advocated for early entry in a recalcitrant district, and later opted against a double grade skip offered for me in elementary school. I was able to compact high school and first year university such that I ended up 3 years accelerated upon entering university anyway, even without the earlier double skip.

IMO, the back-end-loading of the acceleration in my case allowed me to be extremely involved in a wide range of competitive athletic and extra-curricular activities through university. I also had an active social life and was able to take courses across a wide variety of disciplines. As someone with cross-disciplinary interests, the opportunity to have a hand in many fields as I was deciding on career direction was important. Social fit was excellent, but it is easier for females to blend in with older peers than for males.

So take heart. You aren't making an irreversible decision.

Thank you all for your stories and words of wisdom. Sorry I am not responding directly to each of you - cannot navigate multiple quotations in one response somehow!

Here where it gets complicated for me to make a decision. She is well rounded kid meaning she is equally advanced in language/science (with confirmed reading comprehension above 12th grade). Her lowest scores this year were in Drama class... From what I observe she is more logical and I see engineering major in her future... But once and a while she would write those eloquent poems. She doesn't have close friends (the only one she made this year is moving away). She is friendly with everyone but an outsider in terms of finding her "crowd". She doesn't do band or any other team activities (even though we offered her any opportunities in the world). The only activities she is permanently excited about is programming and, of course, anything Minecraft. She is comfortable to talk to a room full of adults and have this resilience in her to brush off any comments she finds not favorable. She likes to be the youngest "smarty pants" in the room. She is perfect candidate to skip. But she is still 10 years old and will be 11 only next year. What if this skip will rob her off one extra year of figuring out who she is. What if this would be the year to finally make close friends with kids only a year older? What if, in terms of academics, I am taking away an advantage of being the smartest/close to smartest kid in the room and therefore be ahead in competing for the spot in a good college and moving her up bringing her more to her true academic pears will be too competitive for her since this is an academic magnet where kids already selected based on achievement. So there are lots of what if's... I truly wish this full grade skip opportunity would never come up... She is now so excited I cannot envision telling her no. Maybe she finally will apply herself and get interested in learning again. I am thinking to do the trail period and undo the skip and leave only Algebra placement... But I am absolutely uneasy about it. I am sick to my stomach every time I am thinking about it :-(

Beautifully put! And as Aquinas' school placement thread reminds me, a constantly moving target.

Listening to everyone's stories, I think a key consideration is where your daughter naturally tends to find her friends. Myself, I have always gravitated to people older than me (my mother claims when I was two I hung out with four-year olds). Skipping wasn't an option, but by the time I got to high school I was excruciatingly bored, doing well enough academically though doing nothing, and indescribably desperate to get out and start my life. I managed to find an unusual way at that time of compressing our then 5 years of high school into 3, graduating two years early. Which had me starting university with the kids two years older - who were the ones I spent all my time with anyway.

What would have been socially brutal for me would have been remaining behind in high school when the age group I could relate to moved on. I still shudder even to contemplate it. At university, I was finally able to come alive and be myself.

But I was extremely independent, no extra "Es", and always more comfortable with older peers. My own DS12 has academic needs considerably more extreme than my own ever were, but for him I can't even begin to fathom the possibility of moving to a new city on his own at 16, and independently taking on the challenges of university. Not a chance! Some kind of interim mixture of on-line and local university classes, mixed with chugging through non-math and science high school courses at the usual rate, may be a far more appropriate route for him. When I think of his future, I am looking to bluemagic and notherben as more likely models than my own pathway. To each his own asynchrony, indeed.

ETA: As a champion what-iffer, I totally sympathize with your currently whirling head. And looking at my own DS, totally agree with all the cautions above. A double grade skip could be disastrous for many kids. But if you are going to cover every contingency, do throw in: what if.... the second skip is the best thing that ever happened to her? She has her reasons to be that excited; listen closely to them. My parents were horrified. I was alive for the first time in my life.

This is the worst part. I have no idea what she really wants/needs. Yes she is excited but is it because there is something new that she hasn't tried yet and she gets to be with older kids as she likes or it is truly her need to be at that level. She is so internal with her feelings I really don't know how she feels... Yes, she is bored out of her mind. Yes, she spends 15 minutes on her homework jotting down something really fast and no thoughts put into. Yes, she disengaged from her studies. But is she truly unhappy? Maybe yes, maybe no. Our conversations about school always have words "fine", "good", "nothing special". That is all! She reminds me of my younger sister and it scares me to death. When we were growing up, and I know it just now going through it with my kid, we were both gifted. I am a "normal" outgoing one, with some friends and ways to compensate for feeling not fitting it. She was the quiet one with no friends but no enemies and she had that unbelievable inside world to share with someone who understands (I am thinking she is probably one profoundly gifted kid...) Got along well with others but always by herself. She was absolutely miserable in her life but because she was always compliant without issues and complains until she got to 14 years old everyone just saw a nice all-round quite girl, including my parents. She never made an unhappy sound until she was much older and all the problems showed up in once. She turned out fine as far as finding her people and has friends as strange and fascinating as her but much, much later in life. But there was so much pain in her journals that she kept and we discovered recently when cleaning the attic!!! I am aware of it now and don't want this to happened to my daughter... But in order to help her I am just playing guessing game at this time with no real access to her "inside" world. My kid is more resilient and internally determined to do her thing at all costs as far as I can tell but I might never know. :-(

Here's the thing. You will never know what is best, indeed, there likely is not a best. There are only different paths and then different things that arise from them you cannot predict.

You write that your daughter is truly excited about this opportunity and seems, from your description, to have a good sense of herself for her age. What would be wrong with figuring out, ahead of time with her (with parental guidance) how and when this skip would be evaluated and what might be done if it is determined not to work? (i.e., can go back to regular grade, get extra help, etc.) Going into it with your plan to undue it before giving it a go seems a little premature...

I might worry what you signal to her, given the school's support and her own excitement, about herself if you say no based on fears. She has a chance to do something she wants to do, feels she can do and then what? No... because she won't tell you her inner thoughts? Some of which she might not even be able to articulate.

Also, one of your posts asks something like what if staying where she is gives her the best things ever. I think you also have to ask what if moving on does. She gets another year and will change/grow/learn either way. When I read that section, it seems as if you are feeling like you are stealing an actual year. You are not in either case.

Based on my personal experience, I would rank this as the single worst reason to hold a kid back. Being the smartest kid in the room can put your child at a significant DISadvantage. When a child gets used to being the smartest kid in the room, they can become more worried about maintaining that status than they are about actually learning or challenging themselves academically. Because the bar is artificially low for them, they also miss out on the chance to learn how to deal with challenge and failure while the stakes are still relatively low. You don't want law school or med school to be your child's first experience of NOT being the smartest kid in the room. Sooner or later, there will ALWAYS be someone smarter, and you don't do your child a favor by delaying that realization.

My mom refused skips for the reason you describe, and it only set me up for perfectionism, anxiety, risk aversion and fear of failure, which I then had to work through as an adult.

You might also underestimate your daughter. My son has been skipped two years and he's still at the head of his class academically in a school with a disproportionate number of gifted kids. If your daughter really needs the second skip, there's no reason to assume it will lower her grades. She might have to work harder to stay at the top, but that can be a good thing.

Very true. The DC I referenced earlier in the thread did not see any drop in grades either, after the second skip.

This piece of PB's post up thread really resonates with our experiences. The issue with our DD is that she learns quickly - give her a new pier and she will still run off the end off it before her new NT peers are anywhere near to reaching the end. This is the primary reason why we haven't pushed for further whole grade skips actually.

I skipped two years and have a summer birthday. Graduated shortly before my 16th birthday and started college at 16. I would say don't do it. From the outside it would look like a success. I had no problems with college academics, have multiple graduate degrees and a career that I enjoy. I don't think that would have changed had I waited a few years. I also had friends. However, I feel like I was much more susceptible to the influence of those friends because I was the youngest person in the group. I was also exposed to things socially that I simply was not ready for. School is about a lot of things and academics usually comprise one of the smallest parts. I have a PG daughter who is very quirky;). Can she do academics years ahead of her grade? Sure, this does not change the fact that she is young and socially she needs time. I would have loved to have a bit more time to be a child myself.

Yes, this really does factor into the decision.

This was one of the factors that made our decision(s) to skip all the tougher. It is difficult to respond to friends and family when they ask about this because, of course, we don't want her out of the house two years sooner, or for that matter, ever. But it comes back to making the best decision for our DD15 and her situation, even if it robs us of more in-house time with our DD.

However, looking at the long game, it may pay off down the road. As DD has told us when rejecting gap year or foreign exchange options - she does not want to give back any of the skipped years. She is instead looking at them as a way to get through medical school and still be in her twenties when she starts a family. So - maybe we're trading two years of her adolescence for two extra years of grandparenting. And with compound interest... that's like 8 years, right?

Best of luck,
--S.F.

1. Entering college one, two, four, or eight years early does not have to mean leaving home earlier. Many families live within commuting distance of a decent regional 4-year (we were blessed to live within range, and were able to commute throughout undergrad; some of us were of an age that commuting during graduate school also was preferred). Many others can access reasonable online college coursework. (If attending an elite institution has particular value for an individual, there's always graduate/professional school or postdoc/residency.)
2. Particularly for females (but for males, also), buying years with grade skips can make the difference between being a young, active parent, and being an older, less agile, parent, or even being a parent at all. Especially since this population is disproportionately more likely to engage in significant further education beyond a bachelor's degree. Even without post-grad education, one can have the option of becoming more established in a career before beginning child-rearing, and still be relatively young, which can make a difference in terms of work-life balance.

* But I still maintain that a decision now one way or the other is not nearly as limiting to future options as it may feel in the moment. Do what you think is best for your child as s/he is, at this moment in time, and don't be afraid to change if it doesn't work out. It's not a failure, nor are they likely to be seriously injured by a short period of poor fit.

"Each day has enough trouble of its own."

While I yet to speak to principle directly (somehow we only going back and forth with voicemail), I am trying to talk myself into it. I left a message asking what he based his decision on and if they already had similar experience with other kids. Also, what will be our back up plan of this skip doesn't work. Not sure what else to ask, to be honest.

Your experiences really helping me to look from all sides. Special thank you to SFrog - somehow you give me so much positiveness through your posts!

My concerns are not yet going as far as college to be honest. Also, our kiddo has her eyes already set on a great college 20 minutes from our house. If she ends up going to "far, far away" college we will make arrangements for her not to live on campus until she is 18. Also, with dating - we are pretty laid back parents but there is a rule of no "one-on-one" dating until she is 16. To be honest, I grew up in a country where 16 is actually not a "child" and your parents will usually let you go on your own at that age. I graduated and started college at 16 which is not that unusual in our country. I am still nervous but I think I am narrowing down my concerns.