I recently had an IQ test as my daughter is showing signs of being gifted and I was curious as to how my own experiences in school etc, may be similar (or not).

I have always known that I was "bright" and had estimated myself in the top 10% (iq 120).

Then my result came back quite a deal higher than that. At first I was pleased and that I wasn't crazy for imagining my daughter was gifted and that maybe there was some basis to it.

Then I felt like a fraud because on all the "bright vs gifted" checklists, I always tick the items in the "bright" column. I'm not creative, I don't have any out-there ideas and I have poor general knowledge. I just understand things quickly (on topics I am interested in).

Then as time has gone on, I keep thinking about why I haven't been more successful in life etc. I know that giftedness does not equal success, but I can't help thinking that I have wasted a great opportunity.

Did you find out your own high IQ as an adult and what effect did it have?

Ignore these.

I don't know my IQ and I'm kind of glad I don't. My husband never took an IQ test, so he doesn't know his either. I did qualify for gifted programming based on the test, so it had to be above some bar, but that's all I know.

I think if we knew, it would be tempting to compare ourselves to our kids. Even now, having results for both my children, I find that it's tempting to assign value to these small differences. But really, I've come to think that general giftedness matters, way-out-there PG scores matter, really discordant results matter, and other than that, "gifted" is a squishy result that has less meaning than we want it to. Looking at the individual person and allowing them opportunities to stretch tells us more.

Anyway, a high IQ is no guarantee of anything. Of course, there are some statistical averages, but not everyone will fit there. My husband and I are throwing off the income averages, for instance.

I also think the bright vs. gifted checklists are a bit silly. Some gifted kids are like that and some are not. I know a lot of gifted kids (and my area uses a strict IQ cut-off) and they are really different from each other.

But they look very authoritative.

You can check the checky boxes and come up with an idealized answer.

It's very crisp and clean!

I have no clue what my IQ is, though I do admit I would be interested to know it. My husband is the same. Neither of us are high achievers, - I left school at 16 way back in 1979, and dh never finished college. Having said that - I do consider both us pretty smart. Our son)age 11) - who knows? I've looked at the bright v gifted checklists, and he never really seems to fit the gifted criteria - so I've always been in denial at his giftedness. Maybe we should all get IQ tests, I wonder if we could get a family discount ?

I refuse to be IQ tested because I always tell my husband that my DD gets her intelligence from me. If I were to be IQ tested and it came back normal, or God forbid, low then I would have to acknowledge that she actually gets her intelligence from HIM. Uh uh, not gonna happen.

For a budget-minded adult with idle curiosity to satisfy, there are IQ test books you can buy and self-administer. I did this many years ago, and while the results are not anywhere near as reliable as formal, proctored testing with a trained professional, I still found my results to be within a few points of my DD's more formal score, and within a few points of the result predicted by my (pre-1994, when it was highly correlated with IQ) SAT results.

There is a proliferation of free IQ assessments available on the web, as well. I don't know of any I would consider reliable.

I would say what concerns me about the original post is the feeling of wasting an opportunity. I sometimes worry (and I worry especially for my children) that people tend to think that being gifted should automatically translate to being an executive or some high-powered figure or someone like Steve Jobs and Bill Gates... and where people tend to think that everyone around them are more successful than they are.

I found my old WISC scores just last year - after DS was tested as gifted, and found my last set from high school placing me in gifted - and yes, I have wondered at times that if my disability had been detected immediately instead of when I was 4, if I would have done even better - since I would not have had to spend years remediating for those 4 years (the constant jumps upwards over 3 WISC test during my school years shows the impact my disability had on artificially depressing my IQ score and one report even states that the WISC did not indicate my true potential)... but at the same time, I really don't have any regrets about my past and whether I should have been more successful than I am - because I am happy with my life and with my family, even though I am not a high powered executive or someone with significant influence (politics, education, corporate etc).

For me, it really has no affect on my life - it does not change who I am or how I view myself or my work life - it only helps me explain some quirks (and explains the constant surprise I would get from teachers from elementary through high school when I suddenly hit a sudden major learning curve or did better than they had expected from someone with my disability - but college and onwards, that constant surprise finally went away for the most part). It also warns me to keep an eye on my own children in terms of making sure we are aware of their full capabilities and making sure they are in an environment that can really meet their needs, and not in a place where we are in constant battle with administration.

I have felt this way, too. I see it as an existential depression. Here's a good article about giftedness and existential depression.

The past needs to be processed and lost opportunities need to be acknowledged; but don't get stuck in a fixed mindset. The present and future are still open for the making. Just working towards a few challenging, but achievable goals can help you feel more empowered. Start by thinking about how you can do just a little bit more with the talents and resources you have; for your family, for your community, for yourself. And make sure to think regularly about the progress you've made.

I have tried a ton of IQ tests from casual to being a guinea pig for grad students, because I like the idea of test construction and the whole ball of wax. Based on all of those, I'm pretty confident about where my G level is within the population, plus or minus a couple of standard deviations.

But IQ needs something else whether it is curiosity, grit, or drive to go somewhere "bigger."

Professional/financial results are their own insular thing. Intelligence lives in the day-to-day in the dangerous situations avoided, bargains found, trivial effort in filling out taxes, appreciation of a brilliant book, maintaining many friendships, understanding the new refrigerator's manual, hobbies accumulated, talking to school personnel, nurturing your kid's intelligence and removing barriers to their success, etc.

Don't devalue your abilities with someone else's yardstick.

I like this - this resonates with me - and a much better summary of how I feel at this time. I would also say "Don't devalue your successes to date with someone else's yardstick"

I think that some of these messages may be dismissing what the OP is trying to relate (in spite of trying to help). If something works for one person, great. But maybe the OP wants more. That's okay. It's also okay to want to remove barriers to your own success as well as doing so for your child. I say this because there's a message in our society saying that it isn't okay.

For some people, professional success is more than having a big title or a big salary. Similarly, there are those for whom giftedness is more than the day-to-day stuff.

As to the OP's question, over the last several years, and in part because of this forum, I've come to realize that the way my mind works is very, very different. It's not just that I process information more quickly or pick up ideas quickly, it's that I see things differently. Sometimes I see complexity where simplicity is assumed; sometimes it's the reverse. Sometimes I question ideas that are taken for granted.

For me, the answer to fulfilling what I consider to be my potential has been to work on large problems that require a lot of cognitive ability, a lot of creativity, an ability to question accepted ideas, and an ability to get stuff done. I'm fortunate to have a tiny bit of funding that lets me get paid (a little) to create a free new software tool for diagnosing rare diseases. I'm doubly fortunate that I have two other incredibly smart people working on this project with me. So that's how I spend my work time.

If this funding hadn't come through, I had decided to get another one of those dull part-time-but-well-paid jobs I can get, and work on an idea I have in mathematics for the rest of the time. Now I do the math stuff outside of work hours.

OP, here's my advice to you; take it or leave it. If you want more, you can get it --- but you might have to step outside your comfort zone (doing so can be very rewarding in the end). Continue to learn about yourself and your abilities. Do you do best with detailed work or the big picture? With people? With animals? With data? Etc. Don't sell yourself short, ever. Learn to tell yourself, "I can do this, even though it's hard (but also keep an eye out for when it's time to say you were wrong)."

Do you want a traditional job, or do you want to blaze your own trail? Either way, find a problem that suits your talents and find a way to do something about it.

Good post, Val.

I did once find out my IQ as an adult. For some reason I can't now recall, I had gotten a copy of my high school student file, and in it was a copy of the results of an IQ test I took in the 1st grade. I can't remember what test it was or what exactly the number was, nor did I really know much about IQ results at the time. I just knew that it was high enough to be gifted, and I remember thinking to myself, "Gosh, that explains why they put me in that program back in 2nd grade, and then in the high math group at that school where I did 3rd, and how I got into the gifted program in my other school district in 4th." But I was younger and probably full of myself and didn't any any other results to directly compare myself to.

That said, I do think that an IQ number really represents a possibility. There is a great deal more to success in any field or endeavor other than sheer intelligence. Your interests and personality are important, and so are your family environment and school experience, and the opportunities you had to learn particular life skills. I've said before, with much frustration, that I don't care if DD is ahead of the other kids, or if she graduates early, or whatever. But I DO care that she's challenged, because if she never experiences challenge, she'll never learn to handle it, and she'll never learn the organizational, motivational, and self-confidence skills she needs outside of school.

I think personality has as much of an impact (if not bigger) on one's so-called success.

Perservance, ability to step outside the comfort zone, being flexible, being able to see the big picture, etc are just as important to climb the corporate ladder than being gifted.

Also, a lot of people enjoy the work/life balance of not being on the top.

I couldn't have said this better.

I think I was a gifted kid but i am pretty average with spatial stuff so nowhere near as bright as my kids. Unfortunately i got the anxiety and existential depression full strength and am not good at social stuff (maybe a bit aspie since in the current generation of the family there is a lot). I do well in an academic setting but not so well in real life. I constantly have to remind myself that i am happier in my current job than i have ever been even though it is way below my education level.

Thanks for all of the replies.

The article about existential depression was great! I will be re-reading it very closely when I have time to take it all in. At the quick glance I have had, I particularly liked the characteristic strengths and associated difficulties for gifted adults. This helped to explain a lot of my "quirks" and frustrations.

I also agree that personality does play a part. I am an introvert and definitely not suited to any type of executive role. I am also a bit of a perfectionist but have been mellowing as I age.

The point about how intelligence lives in day-to-day life was interesting, as I had not considered this before. I do certainly benefit from my intelligence in everyday tasks but had been taking it for granted.

Onto the challenge and boredom.... I am quiet and easy going. At school I remember completing the set exercises and then waiting (or working ahead a little in the math text book - just consuming time with practice questions when I had mastered the concept long ago). I don't recall being bothered by this though - it was just the way it was. I don't remember being challenged and I wonder if this is where the problem lies. I have learnt that I don't have to "try" - no perseverance, drive etc. I've also previously not attempted difficult things for fear of failure.

At my current job (and my previous ones too), I guess I just do the same amount of work my peers seem to do. Then I spend the rest of my time researching topics I am interested in (which change all the time). I have never applied myself and this is what I am kicking myself about. I have had plenty of time to become a specialist in a particular field (which would earn double my current income), but I haven't. Of course, I enjoy the flexibility of my job and being able to do what I please. But I also see it as a bit of a dead-end, as there is no career progression. I'm not sure if I want to spend the next 30 years doing what I am doing now.

I guess I need to figure out what I want, set myself some goals and step out of my comfort zone. Thank you for that advice and making me realise that I can do more, if I want to.

In addition to Val's excellent advice-- I'd also like to point out that it is very seldom too late to start doing things differently.


Oh, sure, there are opportunities that come only once in a lifetime, and you can't regret them when they are gone. I'm never going to tour with the Stones or pitch a major league game. Then again, I was never going to do either thing anyway. LOL.

But what I mean is that life is long, and strange. It takes you a lot of interesting places in due time. ANY of them could be maybe not "THE" thing-- but certainly "A" thing. A passion of the moment or of convenience still teaches me things that are interesting to know.

I am also a DEEPLY introverted perfectionist. I just have to keep my senses open to things that suit my nature. I couldn't bear to go back to being a professor.

Which is just as well, as I rather slammed that particular door shut upon leaving to care for my then-toddler, I fear.

Instead, I do things that help people that I'll never meet. I don't need credit, and I just need to do it well. I can do that. It's complicated, and cross-disciplinary and requires constant learning in two VERY different domains. I can do that too. I'm not someone searching for a deep passion in my life, anyway. I'm content, and industrious-- and that is actually just who I am. I make the world a better place. that's enough for me.


But anyway-- being able to land on your feet is a pretty underrated benefit of a high IQ, in my estimation. My DH and I both have this ability-- in spades.

We learn quickly, we adapt, and we remember what we've learned and can apply it. We also know enough to know when to stop and think for a moment before proceeding.

Those are soft skills that are priceless-- at any age, any task, any endeavor.

I am a data scientist junky, so yeah I wish I could have continuous steaming data for all forms of tests on my body and mind, so that I could analyze them and look for patterns and hidden relationships. I love putting quantitative numbers to physical phenomenon. My job is test intensive, so I am always thinking about tests, making and testing hypothesis.

I believe I could have been more successful in my youth if I had known my IQ score. My mother told me the results of my 7th grade IQ test when I was in my late 20's, and only after that did I develop the confidence to really start pursuing my academic interests. For me finding out my intelligence was key.

My childhood was quite rough for reasons that were out of my control, which accounts for much of the difficulty I had in school. Also, my very high intelligence, I think made me even more of a odd duck. I was dirt poor, but smart. I ended up dropping out in the 8th grade to work.

I think learning my IQ was a benefit for me, but life is so complicated that I think each case is going to be different.

An IQ test as a general predictive tool for success is a subject that I have no interest in exploring in this post, but it is an interesting subject that has been explored by a large number of people yielding differing views.

I strongly agree. The fields I explored deeply without remaining in them professionally became part of who I am. Any experience can change one for the better. I don't believe that any learning or experience is wasted in life.
Not necessarily. My mother did something very similar after the birth of her first child, then went back two decades later, but found that her interests and experiences had widened to the point that this was no longer satisfying, which speaks to the first part of your comment.
..and YES.