Recently, my son (4.5) has been refusing to watch or listen or play with anything with a manufacturer's recommended age higher than his own.

For example, he has a Rock N' Learn DVD on Earth Science. He has watched it several times, often putting it in the player himself. The other day I asked him if he wanted to watch it (he asked me to choose a DVD for him), he said no because it was for grade 3 to 8 and he's not in preschool yet.

It's strange that up to now he has enjoyed all sorts of things with an upper suggested age group range printed right on the package, and now he says he's too little to use them anymore.

Should I cut out the offending MRA before he see's it?

What can I say to him to get him over this? It's like he's trying to play strictly by "the rules".

I'd try just letting him do what he wants for a while.

Why don't you point out to him that many people can enjoy toys/books/DVDs that are not specific to their age group. Many adults read children's books and find them quite enjoyable. Babies find pots and pans interesting and their primary purpose is for adults to cook with. Giving him some examples might help him to worry less about the age recommendations.

The age recommendations I used for my older son had to do with small parts as he tended to swallow stuff ( including a nickel when he should have known better). I also found with him he was generally close to the age ranges as far as interest and ability give or take a year.

For my younger son I kept him away from the tiny legos but other than that the age stuff didn't matter if someone else was playing it he wanted to even if someone was his partner to help the first few times (thinking monopoly when he was really too young to play and the next thing I know he doesn't need a partner).

Stinks, doesn't it?
Amazing at such a young age they can start wanting to 'cover their tracks' - yes?
Grinity

I'm wondering if he's tired of his things, and is looking for an excuse. He's been asking for something new every time we're out. We just bought him $60 worth of new toys!


Grinity-

He isn't around many kids his age, so I'd be surprised if he's trying to "fit in" at this point. I expect that when he starts school in August. But maybe he is picking up on his difference at the playground. The other day, hubby took him and he was talking with another boy who hubby estimated at about 8 years old. Overheard in their conversation was my son, "Four plus four equals eight!" The other boy looked surprised a second and said, "Yeah, that's right. How old are you?" The same day, DS was playing with a boy whose mother said was three. This little boy was sticking to our DS like glue, listening to everything he was saying; which is something our son does to the older kids. Humm...wondering if that little one is a "gifty".

Iucounu-

Good idea. I do suggest things to him if he seems to be just sitting around. I seem to vaguely recall reading somewhere that boredom is a good motivator, and to not try to schedule your child's every "bored" moment.

He did get up and choose his dry-erase board this morning. It was the first time he attempted to write out a sentence. Previously, he has typed email sentences, so I was very happy to see him practicing his writing skills. His letters are still wobbly.

ametrine, I started cutting out recommended ages on workbooks and games about 2 years ago with dd6 for that reason, she thought she was too young for it. once the age thing was not listed she could do it...amazing how the mind works,lol

I'm relieved to see someone else has had this happen.

My husband told me he has made up some stickers that say "Age 4 & Up" to put over the MRA on his things. This may or may not work for anything new coming in, but definitely will not work for what he already has. (He will remember it said something else.)

*sigh* I'm so tired.

DS10 was always very literal & logical and he went through that too. The box says ages 8+ and he is 5, why wouldn't he believe it? They wouldn't LIE right? So, if it says it's not for his age then he shouldn't use it. I explained that it's usually there to keep little kids safe from little chokey bits and that if Mom & Dad think it's OK to give permission for a game or toy with higher age recommendation than that's OK with the company. Also some little kids can't snap Legos and K'nex together like him so they use it as a general guide, ie: "Most kids 5+ can snap K'nex together and won't eat them" They just want to warn the parents that this may not be right for kids under that age so be careful. Same with DVD content, I told him some kids his age don't read yet or may not get the jokes/content/whatever on the DVD so the company that makes it doesn't want sad kids and disappointed Moms & Dads that bought DVDs/Toys/etc that their kiddies wouldn't enjoy. I also told him it's to help people when they are shopping for gifts for kids as a rough idea.

This all worked and it became a dialogue over the years whenever we shopped for toys, games, dvds, etc. He was also proud when he'd build a K'nex roller coaster intended for 10+ and he was much younger.

Went through this. I sat DS down and explained that the ages were recommended, then I had to explain what recommended meant, LOL, then he was ok.

I think I read on here somewhere sometime, that some wise person told their DC it was brain age, not birthdays! I always liked it

DeHe

i like it!

We're probably heading for this. DS noticed the sticker on a toy that said not for under 3's and was cross at me for giving it to his brother (2.5 years) I had to do some explaining. We also had a discussion recently when he turned 5. He asked if he was really 5, because he was still wearing size 4 clothes.

We just hit this too. Ds is going into K and wants the K leapster game, lol. He has had the 1st grade one for years. "But, it is kindergarten, and I am in kindergarten." It's going to be a long year.

bigbadwool, get your scissors and handmade stickers out it will make the year a lot easier ,lol

We had this conversation too - we did the whole "it's a recommendation, it's up to your responsible adult to make the final call"

My daughter insisted on this when she was young. She is a rule follower (or was). I finally just let it go and picked it up later. At 14, she sees this more clearly.

My Aspie son is a total rule follower. It wasn't that he didn't want to do the things for older kids, but it made him anxious thinking that he shouldn't. Some cartoons are marked Y7 and he wouldn't watch those when he was 5. It was actually nice since I didn't have to restrict him, he did it on his own.

Luckily, at almost 9 now, he will go to some acceptable PG13 movies. For a while he wouldn't even consider that! We can't miss Harry Potter!!!

It doesn't take much, we adults are so used to 'tuning out things' - one lady in a grocery store saying 'My My - well look who is reading!' in a snotty tone can be enough for these tender things.

In general I think 'flexibility training' is very important for these kids who seem born with an internal intuition that is hard to overcome.

Start with telling a few stories from your childhood, and your recent about how you first saw a thing one way, and then another.

Show a few 'Vase or Face' pictures, and the one with the fork in the coffee cup, to show how our brains are 'making stories' all the time, even when we don't have all the information.

Then praise praise praise anyone, including your child, who shows the slightest bit of flexibility in their thinking. Lather-Rinse-Repeat for about 10 years....it takes a while.

Love and More Love,
Grinity

That's a very good answer! I may not have to use it since my DDs love the attention and praise when people see them reading teen books.

That's great!

You're right. He notices subtle things.

I've had people say, "Did he just read that?!" right in front of him. He's been reading since he was three, but recently when we ask him to read to us, he will say, "I can't read yet, I'm only four." (He's reading at about a second grade level; possibly higher. Maybe he's hiding his ability from us now. Who knows?)

I'll keep that term, "flexibility training" in mind next time he's so insistent.

Aiden just came out of this now. Went through days of explaining that it's a guideline and then showed him how some of his clothes are for a younger age and some are for an older age too - it's just a guideline. Told him that he must do the things he is interested in at the time and level he is interested at.

Took about 4 months of daily repetition of this. And mainly because someone (a few someones) told him that he is too young so he shouldn't. Plus he loves to hide his abilities at the best of times.

Ug...Four months of daily repetition? *sigh* OK...I can do this. If I can endure a year of potty-training a three year old, I'm a rock. LoL

Don't you hate when people "raise eyebrows"?