I belong to another message board I joined when I got pg with my son. I check in periodically since many of the topics are interesting and the board is very active.
Well, someone asked about getting their child tested for their local schools gifted program.
WOW!
The responses were alarming to say the least. I know of two people on the board that responded who are public school teachers and my jaw dropped at the responses.
Ladies and Gentlemen - our gifted kids really do have a hostile world waiting for them.
Everyone commented that grade skipping should never happen as children should "be with their peer". Both school teachers said they would never support self contained gifted classrooms and pull out programs should not be very often. Another commented that there were no "true" gifted children and many programs are a hoax to make parents feel good.
I held my breath and commented that while many school districts have varying standards, there are some very clear universal standards in the world of "gifted" and there was such a world that existed - you just really had to look for it. I also commented that the type of program to best fit the child would correlate with the individual child - as a mildly gifted child has very different needs from a profoundly gifted child.

But really, I saw again why we do need to be advocates every day for our kids. It's also funny how no one would argue that athletes should be able to compete with their ability peers as opposed to age peers. Michelle Wie was not only encouraged to turn pro and compete against other more her level (although she only had limited success on the junior golf circuit) - she was given corporate sponsorships to compete. Many baseball teams and basketball teams draft kids straight out of high school to go to the pros. I just really don't understand the hostility towards children that are intellictually gifted. But believe me, the hostility is there.
I just saw an opinion piece today talking about "what is wrong" with kids today. A sentence for the piece went "maybe it is a result of all of these supposedly gifted programs that give kids inflated self-esteem".
I wish I were making this up!!!

Grrrr....

My blood just boils when I hear about these things! And, I totally agree with the comment about athletics.

Can I gripe? My daughter belongs to a Brownie troop. Our troop leader sent us an e-mail from one of the girl's moms. Apparently her little girl had won a local pageant, and she was (rightfully) proud of her. But, I thought, what if I had sent a letter out telling the other parents about dd getting yet another poem published?

C.

Post deleted by Mark Dlugosz

Thanks SBTmom,
Well done. I especially liked when you said:

I held my breath and commented that while many school districts have varying standards, there are some very clear universal standards in the world of "gifted" and there was such a world that existed - you just really had to look for it. I also commented that the type of program to best fit the child would correlate with the individual child - as a mildly gifted child has very different needs from a profoundly gifted child.

The lovely part of all this is that all it takes is us opening our mouths and saying our truths, over and over again to be sure, but how many other struggles can be so clearly won with love?

Trin

stbmom,

What were the responses to your post? Did anyone agree with you?

Not a one!
They actually just dropped the thread, but that usually means people don't agree, but don't want to argue. There is also a function where you can Private Message a person and I let her know she could PM me, and she never did.
Another thread happened today when someone mentioned she may need to get her daughter tested for ADD/ADHD. The teacher mentioned the girl was "too smart for her own good" and wouldn't sit still in class. Mind you, we are talking about a 3/4 year old preschooler! She will sit down to read or be read to, but doesn't want to sit when the rest of the class is sitting and listening to the teacher. Hmmmm - does that remind you all of anyone? Maybe every gifted child (or even smart child that is already reading while the teacher over the alphabet).
So, I mentioned that gifted children are often misdiagnosed as ADD/ADHD and medication is a very big step for a young child. So, if she were going to have her professionally evaluated for ADD/ADHD, she may want to have her evaluated for giftedness as well.

Let's just say that went over like a ton of bricks! Why are people more comfortable medicating their children than finding out if they may actually be gifted, just in the wrong environment.

However, for full disclosure - I don't feel any child under the age of about 8 years old should be expected to sit down for any extended period of time quietly and listen to the teacher, gifted, ADD/ADHD or "normal/average". So, I often try to sway parents of very young children from having them in a "school like" setting where they are expected to "sit down and be quiet" for any extended period of time. And I quantify extended as anything over 20-30 minutes with less than a 5 minute break before the next "sit down and be quiet" session.

Wow, this is so interesting and upsetting. I find the same thing happens to me when I present my OT evaluation findings and try to get people to see that the child isn't being oppostitional or defiant, just responding to poor processing of sensory information. People seem like they would rather believe that a 5 or 6 year old child is being manipulative, stubborn, strong willed, oppositional, defiant, ill-mannered and disobedient. They seem to have a hard time believing that a child is just responding to the world in their own way, based on how they perceive it. Is it a control thing? A power struggle between adults and children? I don't know.

My son was noted in the recent social worker observation report to be "antsy" in his math class. Fidgeting, skipping, running, up and down from his chair, standing instead of sitting, flying like an airplane behind his seat instead of sitting...you get the idea! When I shared this info with a co-worker she commented, "well, he needs to get that under control." What?! He's a 5 y/o who is bored out of his gourd - he's doing what any bored 5 y/o would do!!!! For some reason we are supposed to be teaching our children that being bored is a part of life - get used to it????!!

Glad you keep giving the good fight. Don't let being a "thread stopper" stop you! Keep it up!

sigh. We face this so much at Mite's school. Teachers are always trying to make him "normal". It's pathetic and scary.

Until educators and cultures begin to realize that "giftedness" is merely a learning difference that needs to be accomodated for children to have access to learning, then WE are failures in educating this world's young.

Boy can I relate. My son's been labeled as ADD or ADHD by "friends" ever since he was 2 or 3. His kindergarten teacher wanted to put him in in a special education program because he wouldn't sit still (He was doing work he did when he was 3). This year his teacher, that I really like, let him stand up as long as he wasn't being disruptive. The school called in a physical therapist for the class in general (I'm not sure if this is normal). The PT noticed that several kids got up a lot and suggested the children wear backpacks weighed down with books or soup cans to keep the kids in their seats. Then she mentioned some rice filled snake-like things to drape over the kids shoulders or put on their laps to weigh them down. I MADE THEM!!! I was concerned that my kid wouldn't stay in his seat and I was worried that next year's teacher wouldn't be so accomodating. I've since started to homeschool my son since I witnessed first hand that he gets up when he's done with his lessons a full hour or more than the rest of the kids.

The lesson I learned is stop trying to conform the kid and try to see what he's capable of.

I had read or heard a long while ago about some progressive classroom that gave the option to kids to sit on a big ball rather than a chair at their desk. They weren�t allowed to bounce, but just balancing their bottom expended some energy. I always wondered if that would have been a solution for my son who was also suspected of ADHD when he was younger.

I also don�t have much sympathy for teachers who take away recess when little boys act antsy.

ld parents; How do YOU enjoy homeschooling?

We have decided as parents that we will not even attempt to put ds in a school that requires children to be robots. If we have no other option, we will home school - not that it is a last resort, we just like our jobs and ds will only have to be in school for 6 hours at the most anyway due to our schedules.

I don't sit still at my job all day! Neither does my husband. We thought about how long we are sitting still and not moving - just sitting listening and being quite. The answer for me = about 15 minutes a day. Even if I am on a conference call I am surfing the net at the same time, in a meeting - I am swirling in my chair, taking notes or talking. I get to go to the bathroom when I feel like it, not on a set schedule. I get to eat when I am hungry and often have snacks at my desk. My husband is an Engineer - so of course he is running around doing cool stuff all day and can only spend so many hours a day writing reports - he would go mad!
Walking, running, multi-tasking, talking amongst coworkers - that is the REAL World! I want my son to LOVE learning - and I refuse to allow school to interfere with that love.
I don't know what I would do if a teacher asked me to weigh my son down with a book bag!
I got into a discussion with another parent who said he 3 year old son needed to learn how to sit down and be quiet. I said "why"? He said, "because he will need to learn how to do it". I said "why"? The only answer he could come up with is that was what he had to do in school, to which I replied "why"? Your son learned to tie his shoes, eat with a spoon, drink from a cup, talk, walk, crawl, laugh, and hug all without sitting down and being quiet - why would that be necessary for him to learn anything else. I then asked him what was the last thing he learned by sitting down and being quiet - he couldn't answer that one! I just can't believe we are doing this to our children. I was talking about this with my husband and we came to the conclusion that there are only two other places with more control - the military and prison!

We've only been doing it for 1 1/2 weeks but I love it!

For the first few days I was stuck on doing the worksheets, simple spelling words, etc. A continuation of what he was doing in school. My son absolutely hates writing school things especially what he says is "too easy". I got rid of the "easy" stuff and replaced it all with oral work, games, and computer games. He's much more agreeable to doing work if he thinks it's fun - go figure. He still writes his daily journal, whatever project we're doing (he picks the project), and harder math and spelling.

It's getting easier for me as I get to know how much he/we can handle in a day. It's also freeing my son up to be more creative. This morning he gave me a Valentine's Card that he made up entirely on his own - nobody told him to make a card. It's got 3 pages of writing on it! The walls are plastered with notes and pictures for a family fun day (with a sign up sheet), cats, robbers... He's actually enjoying homeschooling! Today is a snow day for the school district and he doesn't mind that we've still got school. I just kick myself for not doing this earlier.

ld parents,

I�m really glad to hear that you enjoy it! I have considered that option in the past, but my part-time job would be an issue. Now, that he is older, I would probably look for individual mentors rather than try to teach some subjects myself. It�s sounds as if it was your only option right now considering your school district profile. Your son is a lucky boy!

It's always depressing to hear what the general population thinks about giftedness. I've lost count of the number of times I've heard that it isn't real and they all level out by 3rd or 4th grade. There also seems to be a real feeling of "why on earth are you complaining when my kid needs a reading tutor".

Despite a good teacher who makes a real effort to engage DS7 and who tolerates a lot of boredom wiggles, I spend many hours after school redirecting him and coming up with strategies to keep him engaged. For example, he is currently busy determining the prime factors of the number of the day instead of making up a subtraction problem about it. His teacher is supporting the alternate project, but I'm the one who suggested it because she simply does not have time to adapt every single math assignment. Unless I am really mistaken about the math abilities of the average 7 year old, this is not a normal project. Yet somehow, we are supposed to believe that giftedness is not real and that providing that child with a different learning environment is some sort of parental pacification program.

Ugh! I have to remind myself that most people never interact enought with gifted children to understand that there are real differences, but sometimes it is really hard to reply politely to the (usually unintentional) hostility. I love what Trinity said, about "saying our truths, over and over again". Sometimes I need to take a really deep breath first, but it is so important to speak up so that others start to understand those differences.

Sensory Integration theory supports what you guys are talking about - how movement actually SUPPORTS learning. Jean Ayres' theory states that sensorimotor development is critical in the development of higher level cortical processing. That's why little kids need to move! And the use of the weighted blankets or lapbuddies isn't to "weigh them down" - it's to increase proprioceptive input, which is a calming/organizing sensory input (the sense of our own body, perceived through sensory receptors in our joints, muscles and bones). The same is true for using a large ball as a seat (or other types of alternative seating/positioning). It taps into our sensorimotor processing with both the proprioceptive and vestibular systems.

What you know to be true intuitively is actually well rooted in neurological theory - that most pediatricians and educators don't even know about! A good parent/teacher resource is the book SI and The Child, by A. Jean Ayres, PhD. She is the OT who developed the theory and practice of Sensory Integration.

(just a little fyi, with my OT hat on!)