When is he just being plain old bad? - 06/15/16 01:50 PM
So... The biggest thing lately is that DS6 seems to be having an extremely difficult time controlling all of his emotions. There are times when he almost seems to be vibrating because his emotions are so intense (especially when he is excited). He has been like this ever since we can remember.
It's often enjoyable when his particular emotions at any given time are very positive, like when he is expressing his undying love for us (like last night, when he asked me with great loving emotion if I would be willing to die for him and then said he would be willing to die for me), or when he's excited and sharing his positive excitement.
But if he's in a bad mood or feeling mischievous, watch out! Lately, he has been extremely mischievous and it's driving us (and poor DS4!) crazy. And he's so intense when he's doing it, and it's so obvious that he is out of control. They're all little things like throwing his clothes at us when he's getting changed, blurting out the answer to a math problem DS4 wants to solve, running to the door to beat DS4 to the door, etc, etc, but they sure add up!
We do usually notice when he's starting to ramp up and try to soothe, calm, or otherwise find a way (depending on the behaviour, good or bad) to bring him down as soon as we notice. And that often works just fine but these past few weeks, he's almost constantly in this mode and so it's impossible to manage.
Deep down, I know that he is actually just overexcited and doesn't actually want to be a big jerk to his family. And I know that he is affected by change, like the fact that the end of the school year in nearing. But ultimately, it is really bad behaviour and it's really bothering us.
We've learned a bunch of techniques to help him manage his emotions and address the misbehaviour in the moment. But my fundamental question (after that long rant!) is this: Is he just plain old being bad, or is it that he can't manage his emotions? We can't figure out if we're coddling him too much because of his big emotions, or if we are punishing him too often (with consequences) for behaviour he can't control.
I recognize that none of you know DS6, so it's impossible for you to answer that question for me. But do any of you have any words of wisdom from your own experiences?
It's often enjoyable when his particular emotions at any given time are very positive, like when he is expressing his undying love for us (like last night, when he asked me with great loving emotion if I would be willing to die for him and then said he would be willing to die for me), or when he's excited and sharing his positive excitement.
But if he's in a bad mood or feeling mischievous, watch out! Lately, he has been extremely mischievous and it's driving us (and poor DS4!) crazy. And he's so intense when he's doing it, and it's so obvious that he is out of control. They're all little things like throwing his clothes at us when he's getting changed, blurting out the answer to a math problem DS4 wants to solve, running to the door to beat DS4 to the door, etc, etc, but they sure add up!
We do usually notice when he's starting to ramp up and try to soothe, calm, or otherwise find a way (depending on the behaviour, good or bad) to bring him down as soon as we notice. And that often works just fine but these past few weeks, he's almost constantly in this mode and so it's impossible to manage.
Deep down, I know that he is actually just overexcited and doesn't actually want to be a big jerk to his family. And I know that he is affected by change, like the fact that the end of the school year in nearing. But ultimately, it is really bad behaviour and it's really bothering us.
We've learned a bunch of techniques to help him manage his emotions and address the misbehaviour in the moment. But my fundamental question (after that long rant!) is this: Is he just plain old being bad, or is it that he can't manage his emotions? We can't figure out if we're coddling him too much because of his big emotions, or if we are punishing him too often (with consequences) for behaviour he can't control.
I recognize that none of you know DS6, so it's impossible for you to answer that question for me. But do any of you have any words of wisdom from your own experiences?