My son is 8 years old and in 2nd grade at a Catholic school. He has always been a bit of a daydreamer, but over the past few months he has been coming home with more and more homework. His teacher is constantly leaving notes explaining that he had a "rough day", or "he didn't get much done", or that he was "very distracted". He knows the material and has only received high marks on his report cards, but his behavior seems to be progressing in the wrong direction, and he is increasingly negative about school.

Anyone have a similar experience?

My DS9 is pretty distracted and has had his share of rough days, but I have noticed he does have great focus when he is closer to his instructional match. Is he distracted and/or does he have rough days at home too?

I don't know what your current relationship is with the teacher, but you should try to meet with her to brainstorm to ID the behaviors she would like improved and also to encourage her to let you know what he does good in a day. Grinity gave me some great advice last year when I was having similar issues with my son. We implemented a daily behavior sheet that also included something good that my DS did that day, so that even if he got a 2 (on 1-4 scale) on taking no for an answer, we also got to acknowledge that he read quiety for 20 minutes or something like that. We made a big deal of whatever she identified as good every night.

My DS does have ADHD so sometimes we all just have to accept that he did not "get much done" in one day. He now has a 504 and is allowed to demonstrate mastery with fewer problems or less work, so we invoke that if we feel like the "home" work is getting out of hand. He has gotten better in the last year - some of it just comes with age for these kids as they develop different skills at different ages.

He does have rough days at home too. He has anxiety and is easily stressed - especially when he doesn't get time on his own to play legos or read. He's got a bit of a temper and has a hard time keeping it in check (he's famous for his growling noises). But he calms down quickly and is usually very well behaved, and ALWAYS very thoughtful. Very empathetic. He is able to focus for hours on things he loves...anything science, environmental, story books.

Our relationship with his teacher is ok. we met with her (and the principal) at the start of the year to go over a lengthy neuropsych report (he has epilepsy, which may be the cause of his anxiety), but I don't think the teacher fully understood his issues or his level of intelligence. She seems to reward the rule followers only. His processing speed is relatively low (85%) so he doesn't do well on all the timed math tests they do.
They do a point system in class, but he usually ends up losing the points he gains and pretty much breaks even at the end of the day.

I've just found myself getting worried a lot about him lately. I don't want him to lose his love of learning, and I'm afraid he's already losing his love of school.
I think his self confidence has taken a hit, and the other day he seemed upset at the public museum - a place he has always loved.

Can't get a 504, but I think the school will be cooperative with any strategies we request.

thanks

I agree that relationship with the teacher is key. Do whatever you can to set up a time to sit down and see what her main concerns are.

I would - personally - not be willing to make a 2nd grader spend more than 10 minutes on work that he doesn't need in order to know the material 'cold.' I think 40 minutes is about the maximum I would allow under any circumstances. So look at the homework and see for yourself if you think it's needed. Most teachers are willing to accept it if you say, we did as much as I thought was appropriate, and I didn't allow him to do the rest. The fancy word for this is 'curriculum compacting.' Basically, that some kids need more practice to learn, and some need less, and the ones that need less - need less.

When my DS16 was this age, I would have been worried about 'If I don't make him do this meaningless homework, how will he ever be able to learn the habit of doing homework?' Since I believe that homework habit is important, knowing what I know now, I would substitute my own, deeper, broader homework. Then see if you can get agreement for your son to hand in his homework to the teacher. If no, just keep it yourself, and give your own report card. No one is going to care if he gets Bs in 2nd grade - and lowering his grade is the worst she can do.

I know a mom who sent her own worksheet in for her daughter to do during the school day. Yeah, she got the teacher's agreement on the first day of school.

If you act like you are comfortable with what you are doing (even if it's an act) most folks will take the path of least resistance and go with it.

Good luck,
Grinity

Did the neuropsych offer any ideas up re why processing speed was low? I only ask because my ds was having similar difficulties with completing work during class in early elementary, not finishing assignments, anxiety, appearing distracted in class. He has a relatively low processing speed compared to his other scores, and in his case the dip in ps is due to fine motor dysgraphia - which was impacting him in a HUGE way at school and no one realized it (handwriting was very difficult and it actually hurt his wrist to write). We only found out about the handwriting challenge after seeking help for severe anxiety.

I also have a dd who had a relatively low ps and in her case, it was due to an undiagnosed vision challenge. In her case, she was complaining of vision issues too - couldn't read from the board, and was struggling with learning to read. Even so, none of us realized she had double vision!

So, fwiw, it might not be anything, but I'd want to know a little bit more about what's driving the dip in ps to be sure it's not part of what's going on at school.

My dd with the vision challenge also has a seizure disorder - do you think any of the "looking distracted" or not finishing work is due to small absence-type seizures happening that the teacher doesn't recognize? Or if he's on meds for his seizures, is it possible they are contributing to his distractability etc?

I'm sorry he's having a rough time - I hope you're able to figure out what's up.

polarbear

This is all great advice. I've emailed his neuropsych about the dysgraphia, and I think a time limit on the homework is a good idea.
The dysgraphia seems to fit at least a little. His handwriting is bad, but he is pretty good at drawing. He doesn't seem to enjoy writing, but I'm not sure if he just finds it tedious (he seems to concentrate more on questioning the questions than just answering the question and moving on to the next). He constantly moves around in his seat, lays on the seat, rolls on the floor, and just seems to daydream as well. If I wasn't so worried about how this is going to play out as he gets older, it would be pretty comical.
As long as I can convince him to get to work and keep focus, then 40 minutes seems like a good limit.

I'm not really sure why his PS is low. He has childhood epilepsy, but I was not told specifically that it was causing it.

Hi,


I joined so I could give you some information that may help.

Hand writting (dysgraphia), processing speed, anxiety, tired, distraction,

Look for Sluggish cognitive tempo. (Wikipeadia, and then go from there- the research is just starting up in this area after being overlooked for decades- these kids only cause " disruptions" to themselves and so get overlooked. (Smart mums/dads are picking it up now)

Previously kids have gone untreated or diagnosed with AD(H)D inattentive or combined group because they share "distraction" as an obvious symptom.

But this group is very different in other areas. For example, they are typically shy, introverted, dreamy eyed, idealistic types, that are well behavioured, and follow rules,

Except when things build up and- they feel overwhelmed, or haven't had the opportunity to "decompress" from the world, feel picked on (the external criticism, sets of a huge internal critic- which is feed by the individual knowing deep down that, at times- they can't do some simple tasks- as quickly/automatically as others- to people getting angry at them even though they did there best at the time.


You child is lucky in two ways.
1) he has a loving parent that will love him not matter what happens in the world or how he fails to meet up with his own standards (this is the most important thing)

2) He will benefit from the research that is really just starting now that the top researchers are realizing its a different group of individuals than ADHD.

The more I read, the more I think it's just that he's not engaged at school. He's been working on double digit addition for weeks because there are other kids that aren't quite getting it yet. I think he just gets side-tracked because he's somewhat antsy and distractable, but also because he just not that interested in doing things he already knows.
they read books that aren't challenging for him too. We were told by his Dr. that he reads at a 7th grade level or above, but his teacher tested him and has him listed at a 4th grade level.

It's just frustrating to know what your kid is capable of achieving, but only seeing that he doesn't really like school and doesn't seem to be interested in what they do in class.
Getting very irritated.

I had similar issues with my DS6 and DS8. If you have the time, you might ask his teacher if you could volunteer in your son's classroom so that you can observe what's going on. It's eye opening to finally see what kind of materials they are being taught and at what moments your kid starts losing interest (is it a particular type of work he does not like, is there a kid in the classroom who keeps distracting him, etc.). And then I would work with the teacher to provide him with appropriate and challenging materials (not MORE busy work but different type of work). It might also help to do some sort of a behavior program at home like a sticker chart with a big celebration every Friday or something like that if he does all his schoolwork and homework without a problem. After all that, if he is still having trouble, he may have ADD tendencies which he may or may not grow out of as he matures. My DS6 seems to be getting better naturally with maturity and with classroom materials that are accurately targeted to his learning style and level. DS8 on the other hand, is getting worse. I am going to take him to get him assessed for ADD. I'm hoping he will also mature out of this "restlessness" and "absentmindedness" but I think we need some professional help at this point.

It seems to me that his teacher will not want to give him work different from the rest of the kids. I need to demand it though, I know.
Perhaps I need to demand more from his teacher. And perhaps I need to take more action myself. Unfortunately, all I've done over the past few weeks is tell him to work harder. Wow. How wrong is that!?
I guess I need to step it up. Started this thread for an easy answer I thought I was missing somewhere, maybe a new diagnosis, a secret tip for increased focus, or a bit of advice for the teacher.
I need to work harder to supplement him on the weekends, enrich his home experience even more and take him out on real learning adventures during the summer.

I know this post is from several weeks ago...but I am never on here anymore and when I saw the title of this thread wondered if I had written it. : ) Anyhow, my DS8 has had similar issues. He is PG kid and has been tested before school started. He had one full grade skip but it's still not enough. Thankfully his school has been accommodating in some areas and has allowed him to work 4 additional years ahead in math, and to do some different work than peers in reading and ELA. He does enjoy school for the most part because of all the extra stuff (gym, music, lunch, etc...and math because it's a little closer to his level this year). But he still struggles with focusing during some subjects, with getting his work done and not daydreaming and reading a book instead. His teacher has really been on us this year and he has explained to me that he doesn't know why this happens, but that he is not motivated. I have seen this at home too. He also loses track of time and just doesn't get things done, and we were getting tired of all the extra work coming home. Some nights he would have HOURS of work. I am supportive of the school but sometimes you just have to draw the line. Anyhow, his teacher created a sheet for him to monitor himself for Math, ELA, Social studies/science, and in the hallway (since he apparently skips or swings his backback). So if he does what he is supposed to with one or less reminders and gets his work done he scores a 1, if he has a few reminders and gets it done or some done then he gets a 2, if he doesn't get it done and has lots of reminders he gets a 3. Since he usually doesn't get Wii time during the week I have told him that every day he gets all 1's then he can go on the Wii that day. Amazingly he got all 1's every day last week. Now he has the motivation! And he has less homework at home which is awesome. Anyhow, not sure how long this will last, but it worked for a week at least and it's mid winter break this week so another week of peace. I know that story may not be relevant, but if it is a matter of him not doing the work because it is not interesting, then some motivation may be helpful. But then again, work needs to be more at his level too. We have that for the most part, and we supplement at home because he is always doing enrichment things on the side of school anyhow (lego robotics, piano classes, chess club, math olympiads, science experiments and museum trips, etc.) That stuff keeps him going enough to deal with the boring parts of school. So far, it works for us. : ) Good luck!

Oh, and from what you said it appears he would qualify for a 504 plan if you needed one. With the report from the neuropsych and the epilepsy, I am sure you have more than enough evidence to support you (I also work in schools as a school social worker so if you want one and it would benefit him, push for one).

Yes! I did this with DS8 when he was 6 and in grade 1.

It was the pace of the activity that shut him out. It was soooo sloooowww.... I could feel myself getting stressed out on his behalf. He was in and out of his seat, looking under his desk, staring at the ceiling, examining the overhead projector to see how it worked, following the path of the electrical cords, etc etc, all becauuussee tthheee leeessssoonnn wwaasss soooooooo sssllloooowwww...

(sigh)