Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school won't even sit on a bike WITH training wheels...

This isn't really a gifted issue per se, but my four year old who is almost five won't even SIT on a bike WITH training wheels. The K she is going to will have a bike parade and it would be nice if she could join in since last year in pre-k she was the only child not riding a bike in their parade. Those things are not that important, but it does add another area of disconnect with peers since they like to ride their bikes around on playdates. I suppose I could do as I have been doing and wait for her to be interested, but I'd like to help her at least get started. She shows no interest and shows some fear. If I casually suggest trying a bike, she resits quite a bit. Any thoughts?

Do you guys have bikes? Maybe you could suggest as a family you all go and seeing you guys riding would help.

I find in my own experience that the more I want them to do something the less that they want it. In our house it is a who's the boss situation I think...LOL. If I typically ignore it and let it go she will come around on her own time. Maybe just seeing more of her friends riding and you riding would be enough. If she is just really scared there may be nothing to do besides to calm the fears she has about being on the bike? Has she said why...like falling off the bike etc?

One more idea...who picked out this bike? If you don't mind spending the money, maybe let her get involved in the selection of the bike. It might make her more excited.

Thanks for responding. I basically haven't mentioned bikes in the last year, but the weather is finally getting nice here and have casually mentioned it and she resists. Both girls have their own bikes and she picked hers out a year ago herself. It is beautiful, but she got on it last year and it tipped over. It wasn't anything traumatic, but it scared her and now she wants nothing to do with them even though I am willing to hold her on it, and do whatever it takes to make her feel safe. We live somewhere where she never sees other kids riding bikes. It isn't the biggest deal in the world and I rarely place emphasis on it,but as it is, it is hard for her to find kids to play with and I thought riding bikes would be a way to play with kids her own age who seem to like to ride around in warm weather in their neighborhood (not ours, we have no children nearby so she never sees them and when we go on playdates, she steers kids indoors). I may just drop it, but was just wondering if there was a way to help her because it would be such a confidence boost for her and also, as I said, be a way to find an activity to do with other kids her age.

I remember an interesting thread about bikes last summer. Seems many GT kids have trouble learning to ride. With my DD8.5, her perfectionism got in the way BIG TIME. She was almost 8 before she could ride confidently and it took two years to convince her that it was worth trying. If we had not pushed, I know she would still be using training wheels!

My little guy is 2.5 and he has the same thoughts on bikes as your 4 year old. He has a tricycle (very small) and a ride-on Thomas the Tank toy that goes 2 mph with the push of a button. He will not go near either one. Tried each once and was completely terrified. We pass bikes and ride-on toys in stores and he won't even look at them. I do not have any great advice, just a little bit of sympathy.

Thanks, Kathleen's mom. Sympathy is welcome. In the grand scheme of things, this is a small issue, but one of those rites of childhood. My oldest has had an aversion to riding toys of all sorts since infancy, but loves to swing and swing high and spin and jump wildly on trampolines and loved jumpers (Jumperoo) as an infant and would jump so high people were shocked so it isn't that she is cautious all around.

Good Morning Twinkles -
1) Have you tried lowering the seat and removing the petals so that she can ride it like a broomstick?
2) Will she use a razor scooter?
3) Will they let her ride a tricycle in the parade?

If none of those work, I would bring the question up with an OT. My don didn't learn to ride until age 9. the scooter helped him get his balance. And then he wept that he had wasted all those years 'not riding' his bike and missing all the fun.

This is definitely a gifted issue, and worth an attempt to figure out in some way.

Love and More Love,
Grinity

It was great growing up in the 70s where being an individual was the in thing. I just thought I would give a different perspective, although it might not apply in this case.

I don't know what it is like for any particular child, but for me, riding a bike or any kind of moving felt like being blind folded. All those interesting details I could see in the world around me were gone. Sitting in one place looking around was fun, moving was utterly boring. As a new experience, riding a bike was fun for a few weeks.

This reminds me of the first time I went fishing. When the boat was sitting still, it was great. There was the waves hitting the boat, I could feel the currents tugging on the line. Then they decided to troll (move the boat slowly to let it catch the fish). Suddenly all those wonderful subtle sensations had disappeared. I guess the goal of fishing is to catch a fish, not to enjoy all those wonderful subtle observations along the way.

The reason most people do what they do is it is what brings them pleasure. People who are very active are doing it because it is what they like to do, not because they are less lazy. Those of us who sit around apparently doing nothing are experiencing and doing more than many can ever imagine.

My DS resisted this passionately; he was afraid the bike helmet clip would pinch his chin, he was afraid he'd fall, etc. He wept copiously when we removed the training wheels.

We really did push this (ours is the kind where you have to push him outside his comfort zone, then later he's pleased to have mastery). We had him count how many seconds he had ridden without training wheels. Counting was a way to keep his brain occupied and crowd out the fear a little, as well as a concrete way to track his progress. He cried a lot, but he learned how, and as it's an age-appropriate skill that he now enjoys, we're glad we forced the issue.

DeeDee

Just a thought, have you ever had a vision check with a developmental optometrist? Sometimes it is an undetected vision issue My daughter didn't ride a bike until she was nine...after discovering a vision issue and participating in vision therapy for six months.

Its so funny how so many issues come down to the push or don't push scenario. DS 5 hated his (expensive!) tricycle because the darn thing was too heavy for him to move on his own. So we gave up and switched to a bike with training wheels - he found it more stable like the tryke but more manageable. But he was never crazy about it, he has classmates who ride to school - he would never want to do that.

We have wondered whether there is some issue with gross motor - he runs like a snail too - gets lapped by his classmates. But he is a good swimmer - prefers that too. We are doing a lot more walking which will hopefully build up stamina - but I think JamieH has a great point - DS doesn't like to just run or just ride - not sure why swimming is different for him but it is.

I think dislike is ok - so long as they do something else to gain exercise and work those muscles. Fear I find I need to work with - like being afraid of the scary parts in books and movies - we go the route of gaining comfort with gradual introduction. Start with training wheels, leave em on till she is embarrassed or super confident. If she is afraid with the training wheels then I would work with her to figure out why and use the fun of doing the parade as a carrot.

DeHe