Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Elementary School Immature Gifted Boy - School Options?

We have a son who scored well on his IQ test (144 overall on a testing day where he was actually quite ill) - and is very outgoing, super bright, and funny. We had him interview at a gifted school and although he was bright enough by IQ scores and academic assessment (he place on 2nd grade reading and math - even though he is in pre-k), they felt he lacked maturity. We are worried that the school might have an issue with his personality, more than his maturity - as he seems like a very normal child of his age. Not sure weather to wait a year and reapply or not. Anyone seen any kind of this supposed asynchronicity in their kids, meaning normal maturity kid w/high scores and faced this kind of issue from gifted program? Not sure what to do?

My son is 5 (pre-k). We thought about early entry to kinder last fall... and realized although mentally more than capable.. maturity wise he is no where ready. I wonder if he was with kids that are at his intellectual age would his emotional age increase. We have not had him tested (its not financially feasible) but he completes my 1st graders enrichment math and reads at about an beginning 1st grader.

So to answer your question... yes it is very possible

hth
Sheila

Lacked the maturity to sit still for a full day of 'easy-peasy' work, where he learns very little, like his big sister? ((Just guessing here!))
In that case they are doing you a favor!

Flexibility is what you need from a school. Same old same old at a slightly earlier age isn't the same as actually being willing to analyse what the child's learnig level is and bringing him to the classroom that is a match.

Especially if your son doesn't seem immature at home, I think that they are pulling your leg.

Grinity

I think they like stereotypical bookworms and our dc is very outgoing and questions a lot. I think what they called immaturity is really more of a personality issue as he is actually in school now and has zero maturity issues ever mentioned - in fact is seen as a very studious kid. We are concerned b/c he needs the differentiation they offer (the gifted school) - but are worried that they will try to squash his personality. He is already 3 yrs above grade level, and other privates seem to be a bit put off trying to meet him where he is at - and instead want to deal with him as a typical 5 yo and ignore the fact that he is so far ahead - but those schools are better suited for his personality type...loving the strong, outgoing leader type. So we are VERY confused.

DS is suppose to be in Pre-K actually, but got skipped to K and is finishing K this year. Do you think we should place him in our public 1st grade (which will be repeating some of the material as his current K is about 1 yrs advanced) - which is crowded (like 28-30 kids) or put him in a private that is about $20K - tha is likely going to be non academic as he will HAVE to redo K next year..but will be 12 kids or so. Public he will be much much younger than everyone and smaller, but he will have be a bit more better fit academically. Private will have a much nicer environment, less kids, more extras but basically repeat a K program AND that is totally not academic like his current K.

Red flags are flying when I read the gifted school's comment. I wouldn't want my DD in that school because of all the schools you would think they would understand asynchronous development.

Question: Does his present school not continue on past K or is it not an option for other reasons?

Okay, more questions: In our state they won't consider Kindergarten placement in private school and would require the child to repeat kindergarten but if the child completes 1st grade in private the public school has no problem allowing them into 2nd no matter their age. It seems like your state is opposite. So why would this other private force him to repeat K? Can they not administer an assessment for placement?

Your two choices you presented are hard ones. I would hate to have my DD redo a grade when she is already so advanced yet I shutter at the idea of her in such big classes but this has more to do with her personality. If your son is a very social kid it might be okay. I really feel for you ... that is a tough choice.

Our son is in private K now and the other private we would move him to would want him to repeat K.

The reason we are moving him is that we had some issues with his past teacher for the usual stuff - hated us b/c we asked that she please differentiate for him as he was refusing to go to school because of the work he was forced to do daily (workbooks on Abc's - when the kids is completely reading...like 2nd grade-3rd grade books). Anyway - the teacher yelled at us and I felt really hurt our son for a time being. We ended up moving classes, but she is still there and is one of the owners..so I am not sure what this will mean if we kept him. The school does go to 3rd.

As far as my dd's gifted school (the school we wanted ds in). The school said we should bring ds back next Jan and reconsider him - as his scores are so high. They say he just needs to mature. The gifted school does a stellar job accelerating for the kids but the teachers yell, and its very rote learning and the atmosphere is kind of rigid. Parents are not allowed to be involved at all (super white tower philosophy). But its the only real gifted game in town..and I have these 2 kids and feel worried about pursuing anything else - even though this school is so wrong for them both in so many ways.

I have started to feel like raising"gifted kids", as far as schooling goes, is really no gift at all

I don't think either of those choices sounds appealing at all.

Have you ever considered homeschooling or self-paced virtual schooling? Is there some reason why this would be impossible for your family? If you are sending him to school for the social aspect, there are plenty of opportunities for homeschooled kids to socialize with other children, and with scores this high, it is really unlikely that you are going to find a school that is going to move at the pace and intensity that he will probably want to go at.

It might only need to be a temporary situation, until he reaches an age where the schools will admit and place him based on achievement level, not age.

Wow wolfson! (((((BIG HUGS))))) I think you need it. You really don't sound like you have many options and that gifted school sounds awful! How is your DD doing in that school? Does she like it? Even if it is a good fit for her it might not be the best place for your son.

We have a gifted school here but I see it as my last resort. My DD goes to a Spanish Immersion program which is academically 2 years ahead of public schools. We have signed her up for Kindergarten for this next year but my husband is still very hesitant about if the school will continue to challenge her since her challenge has been the foreign language component and that is no longer a challenge. He wants us to look into the catholic school but I just hate the thought of losing foreign language. I'm thankful that we do have some options but even here we are limited due to DD's LOG.

I really hope you can find another option for your son and I second the idea of homeschooling if this is even a possibility for you. I would prefer that option over huge public school classrooms or repeating kindergarten in private plus you can take the money you were planning on using to pay his private tuition and hire tutors and/or mentors for him. Homeschooling doesn't necessarily mean you have to be the one teaching him. Just a thought.

yes - considering homeschooling as well. he is very very social - and has been in a school environment or a while..so would be big change...am researching homeschooling as well. i know it will be better for him in many ways, but i also know that he would become incredibly accelerated - he learns very quickly and i am a bit worried that this 3 year gap between his age and ability will continue to expand...that next year I will have a child technically ready for 1st but on a 5th grade reading level and 3rd or 4th grade math. i never know with these kids what's right to do frankly...slow them down, work at their pace...never know what serves them best. any opinions on this. i feel with both my kids (as is the case with many of these kids) - it is like a bottomless well that needs and wants to be filled, so the compulsion is to fill it, but then they become harder to serve in the school systems. what do you think of this issue? god - its so good to have a place to discuss this...so happy i found this board!