Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments What to say at first school meeting??

I know this question has been asked a million times on this forum, but I can't find any old threads to help me out!!

We're meeting with the public school this Friday to talk about DD5 who will be entering K this fall. She is currently reading and comprehending at a 3rd grade level (at least), learns quickly, great memory, highly creative, understands abstract ideas, and advanced in math as well (although I'm not sure where she's at with that grade-wise).

So I called the public school and talked with the guidance counselor about what will happen next year when DD5 starts K. We're meeting Friday with the counselor, principal and a K teacher.

But what do I say? And how do I say it without sounding either conceited or just plain crazy??

What's the best approach to get these people on my side??

I'm sure that other people will chime in soon but a couple things come to mind. First, does your district have a gt department? You may want to call them and see if they could participate in your meeting or at least provide guidance re the politics of gifted at your school.
Second, I would start collecting "data." Bring in test scores, the types of books that she is reading independently, samples of writing, samples of math work and anything else that supports your assertion that your child is advanced. You may want to call your contact back and ask her what the school would like to see.
Finally, go in there with some humility. You might want to say that you know everyone thinks their kids is advanced but here is what you are seeing. Ask for their opinion and acknowledge their expertise. Demonstrate that you want to be a team player with the school.
Good luck.

Knute has some good advice.

WARNING: Rantings of a very jaded, cynical parent follow.
I may just be too cynical, but I'd also be prepared for them to dismiss whatever evidence you bring in. Our experience (and the experience of a lot of people we know at different schools) is that it's common for staff to look at what you brought in and just flat out not believe you. If you show a book, be prepared for them to say that she doesn't really understand it or to say that it's not uncommon for kids to read at that level in their K. (If they say this, I'd ask how many the K teacher saw reading at that level at the beginning of this current year and how she knew.) If you bring in math, no matter what the types of problems are, they might dismiss them as her having been taught how to compute but without really understanding the concepts.

I never did figure out how to counter this attitude, and we ended up leaving our school because of it. No matter what evidence was presented, the teachers and administration had an argument why it wasn't valid, or they would just refuse to look at it, saying it wasn't relevant because it's not their curriculum.

If you do have a difficult meeting, then that is valuable information to have found out. If the administration is not supportive, then it's better to know that now. Conversely, if the administration is receptive to what you bring in, then that's a great sign and also good to know.

Good advice, and I wish Nan's warning wasn't nescessary, but it is.
So having lists of books and some Math worksheets filled out in the child's own handwriting is very important, but perhaps even better is to have a video that you can show of your child talking about some of the more advanced books and talking about how a person can figure out the Math that she did.

Perhaps you can approach it as 'playing school' showing how she would teach someone to do the Math, and 'making a commercial' for her favorite books like in the TV show 'Reading Rainbow.' If she has a favorite topic, such as weather, also have a clip of her talking about that. Even if the school doesn't believe their eyes, you will at least have the Davidson YSP application halfway complete. Even if you have a phone that takes video, showing her in action is better than only showing hard evidence.

Remember that elementary schools are trained to believe that abstract thinking is 'impossible' in children and therefore 'not in their job description' to develop, so keep talking their language and consentrate on what skills she has.

Best Wishes,
Grinity

The best advice I have for any parent of special needs children in this first meeting with a school/program is:

remember that YOU have as much interest in getting information out of this meeting as they do. Proceed accordingly.

That often takes some of the pressure out of things-- you aren't necessarily there to "prove" anything, or even to elicit promises from them about services or placement. This is just a "getting to know you" meeting in what has the potential to be a long and productive partnership to benefit your child. This isn't a sprint-- but no matter how badly it goes, information is still a good thing, as Grinity notes. This will help you to decide whether or not it is worth your energy to have a second meeting with them, if nothing else.

Make a list of questions that you really would like to know the answers to, and take notes.

__________________

What Nan says is painfully true. Even my daughter's own family members who were trained educators refused to believe that she was actually doing the things she was doing-- preferring to think of them as interesting parlour tricks instead of overcoming the cognitive dissonance that it induced. Pretty sad when your own family is telling you that "She seems like a completely normal, average four year old... it's not THAT unusual for kids to ask about situational ethics and the cultural significance of myth before kindergarten... nevermind reading..." <bangs-head> It was very hard for me to come to grips with the simple fact that these people were flatly wrong. I have no idea what the motivation is behind that kind of rationalization or denial, but I know that it exists.

I wish I had something helpful to say.
All I can say is good luck and try not to get upset when/if you are dismissed.
We have all been there and you are not alone.
Even if they believe us and we have proof w/all the tests in the world not many people will give a crap anyway.

I ended up canceling our meeting with the public school, so I don't need to worry about the meeting anymore!

DD5 was offered a scholarship to attend a local private school that is more than willing to work with us to let DD5 excel. She'll technically be in K, but they have K and 1st together, so she'll be doing 1st grade work, they said. Then the next year, she'll skip 1st grade and go to 2nd grade if all goes well.

This has been the answer to my prayers!!!!

If I could shout my joy from the rooftop, I'd be out there right now!!!!

Woo-hoo!