Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Where do I start?

I am completely new to this forum and still feel completely new to the whole school system. I have an 8 year-old son in 2nd grade, public school.

I cannot say for sure that my son is "gifted," however he has always shown an uncanny knack for being a bit too smart for his own good. He was reading before entering school (by age 4 I believe, though his pre-K teacher didn't believe me - probably thought I was just a proud mother - until she read a book in class, got the words wrong and he ended up correcting her!), his math skills are advanced, he is extremely perceptive, analytical, creative, etc. So, I think, at least right now, he's very advanced for his age.

I volunteer a lot at school, and I work with a lot of the other kids. Based on what I see, I feel he is beyond the majority of his classmates. There is another mom I've met whose daughter is in his class. Last year she was in a different class, but I recognized her immediately as an advanced student. This year the two of them are routinely paired together so they can challenge each other intellectually.

The struggle that this other mom and I have is that there are no programs for gifted kids at our school. And we're feeling frustrated because there doesn't seem to be a lot of push to help these advanced kids. For example, the school library is partitioned into different sections: easy fiction, easy non-fiction, easy chapter, fiction, non-fiction, and popular (like Magic Tree House). In first grade, the kids only had access to the easy sections. We had to request personally from the teacher to allow our kids access to the easy chapter section.

This year, we have repeatedly asked our teacher to give our students access to the rest of the library. The kids got access to the popular section. Okay, but what about the rest of the library? My son loves science and biographies. We have been told that the kids can find challenges in all books, even picture books, and that they should be looking for themes and message and whatnot in every kind of book.

We don't feel that's good enough. Our children love to read, and love to read interesting, unique, statistics-filled books. We both feel like we're struggling to try and represent a small portion of kids that are completely under-represented.

We know we want to do something. But what? Where do we start? How can we get a gifted program in our school? There really isn't anything until high school - and that's not good enough. We need to engage the kids now - not eight years from now.

Is it possible to start a program in a school, or should we start something after school? How do we identify the kids that need to be involved?

There's so much testing, so much available to the kids that are developmentally delayed - money, programs, aides that sit with the kids... but nothing for the advanced child. At best, my son, the other mom's daughter, and two other girls are grouped together in their own reading group while the rest of the class does a different reading exercise. That's it?

Any advice on how to start off on this journey we want to take is greatly appreciated.

Are you sure you don't belong to our school district? Wow, That is very much were we were and still are in some respects.

Because of the lack of gifted programing here (for DD10), we finally had her skipped to 5th grade. It took a couple of months for her to adjust and it definatly was NOT easy, but she has finall adjusted and even some of the other kids are coming around to talking to her where before she was the outcast. She is still getting very good grades but has some challanges at the same time which is what we wanted for her, to work for a grade.

The twins are 9 and in 3rd, and while they don't seem to be as far ahead as their sister, they are a little ahead in some stuff and I don't feel that either of them would benefit from a grade skip. So we provide stuff at home when they ask for it, and they usually do ask for it around when they see their older sister doing something in math (they wanted to be shown multiplication and division which I've been giving to them a little at a time ahead of schedule).

Now with the reading situation, one of the twins this year said she went to the library and wanted to check out a Harry Potter book and was told she couldn't check anything out that was thicker than the width of her thumb. Thankfully this one's teacher was the older sisters teacher last year who recognised her and "got her" so to speak, so she fixed the problem with the library. I also found the series of Harry Potter on Ebay and told her to take it to school any time she wants to

DD10 started reading the James Patterson Lake House series (teen version only so far) and was bringing it to school with her, and got some flack from the teachers that they never let children read James Patterson but that since it was her books they would let her. What 10 year old wouldn't want to read about other kids who had wings and could fly and go anywhere they want?

I also have a son who's 5 but isn't in Kindy till next year and no way we are going early with him. He's self teaching himself to read but is so bouncy and not mature enough. We are fine with him where he is.

All in all, I wish I knew also how to help school do more for children like her. I had thought it would be good to have something on Saturdays at the school if they could let us have access to the computer lab (I think they have one) so kids who want some acceleration could work with them, kind of like a "club" of sorts, but how to get a hold of other parents in the area? I mean you can't just ask for a list of names and numbers right?

Might it be helpful to look at neighboring schools/districts which have better programs in place and ask "how did that happen?"

I know that there are a few mechanisms for providing GT enrichment within a public school system that doesn't fund it or even really provide a means to provide it during the school day:

• parents can VOLUNTEER to take on informal "club advisor" roles for extracurricular/after school enrichment-- book clubs, art activities, music, and robotics (Lego robotics) are all popular ideas that work or can be made to work for a wide range of abilities and ages,
• once a core group of parents exists and knows how to work together, this can be taken to the next level by forming an NPO to manage the organization's efforts,
• with non-profit status, fundraising is simplified somewhat, and new revenue sources are opened up (grants).

For an example of how that CAN work, here's an example that I know of--

Saturday Academy

Hooking up with a local children's museum or college/university may be another avenue to explore.

I think that to get the ball rolling, you have to be willing to volunteer to act as a mentor/coach/club leader in an area of your own expertise, and then let the other parents find YOU. And they will, especially if there is a need for more GT programming in your school. At a minimum, you'll need to be okay with the school conducting a background check on you (and maybe even fronting the cost yourself), and probably with providing club resources out of your own pocket at first.

I'm sorry, but who on this planet has a thumb thick enough to be allowed to read Harry Potter? Even the first one? And there goes Gone With the Wind, and War and Peace, and Shakespeare unless you get them individually, and...and...and...

We just had a meeting with our school about my dd6 about what they are going to do in the school to accomidate her. I brought them in examples of what other districts in states with funding do and also what some districts in our no funding for gifted education state do. I brought in some after school programs I have seen people post about on here. I don't know if they will shred these documents or actually use them, but I told them I'd be happy to do the leg work with starting up anything they are interested in. I just plan to keep exposing them to what is out there. They will either really start looking it to it and realizing these programs work or really hate me and do some of them so we shut up, either way we get something....at least I hope that is how it goes LOL

It's difficult when there is absolutely nothing in place.

I would start by finding out whether it is just your DS' school, or the whole district or the whole state that is so deficient in resources for advanced students. To the extent there is some programming available in a neighboring school or district, you can at least approach your school's administration to see whether they would consider implementing a similar program.

Have you consider grade or subject accelerating your DS? It may not be at all obvious, especially if it is seldom done, whether that is a possibility until you have approached your school's adminstration. I recently subject accelerated my DS7 to the 3rd grade GT math class. I was fortunate in that his teacher last year mentioned that possibility and his teacher this year felt that would be appropriate. However, the district had to be involved in the second round of testing and the final approval and even the administration did not appear to know very much about that process.

The fact that you volunteer so much would make it easy to approach the teacher about offering some advanced reading or math enrichment activities to a few of the most advanced students if you were willing to do the work.

Good luck!

Ok MI mom,
You asked where to start - I have an idea.

I think that for a person in your situation, the first thing to determing is 'does my kid need enrichment or acceleration?'

Of course it would be nice for all kids to have enrichment, but is that my child's primary need?

It would be pretty sad for you and your friend to pour so much resource and attention into the enrichment boat, only to find create some terrific programs that meet the needs of the top 5% or top 2% and still don't meet the needs of your own children.

You say:
I say: Don't do that. Problem solve to meet your actual child's needs at this actual moment, using the resources availible to you. That might mean gradeskip, forming a homeschooling co-op with your friend, subject accelerations, cyberhomeschooling, or private school. Less revolution-more problem solving!

(I do want a revolution in favor of teaching kids at their readiness level - but not until my own child is problem-solved to the best of my ability!)

How do you figure out your child's actual needs? IQ and Achievement testing with a tester experienced in gifted and highly gifted kids is a good way. Or getting your school to do the testing if they will. Or asking the school to give 'end of year' tests. Or read Dr. Deb Ruf's '5 Level's of Giftedness' or do her online 'www.talentigniter.com/' Or get ahold of MAP tests, but the first thing to do is figure out how unusually unusual your child's learning needs are. Then make some decisions about where to put your energy.

Love and More Love,
Grinity

And the library shuffle is very sad. I would keep politely stating your believe that your child needs more, in writing, and start climbing the chain of command if you get nowhere with the teacher.

Thanks to everyone for all the input. I tried to reply a few days ago but the forum wasn't working for me. Hopefully this goes through!

I understand that my main focus is my child, as it should be, but I guess I get this busybody attitude where I think that there should be something for every child that has extra talents. I was reading a brochure/e-doc on starting a parenting group for gifted/talented, and it really puts into focus the fact that once you start something, eventually you're going to walk away from it as your kids get older, and you don't want to let it die after you move on. That's how I feel. I want more for the kids as they are now, but I want to make sure that the kids that'll come through a decade from now will have something.

We're doing a lot of reading, and thinking, and trying to figure out the best path to take. Perhaps it's just going to be something extra, like an after school club. We've got Lego Robotics, and one or two other clubs, but they are for older kids. I don't want any child to have to wait to be challenged or extra-educated.

I know we're taking on a lot with this, and that's okay. We (the other mom and I) volunteer a lot already, so we're not scared to add a few more hours to our week.

How do you think we can go about finding other parents or other talented kids? Is it as easy as sending out a flyer, or is this something we should discuss with the teachers?

Many programs that are set up for older kids will allow your child to participate if you approach them the right way. I have found that coming across as someone in desperate need of help works for many.

My DS has gone to workshops, seminars etc that were meant for much older kids. I've always explained the situation in advance,asked permission and swore that if my son became disruptive in any way we would leave. The first couple took a major job of convincing, but now many of the people know him and readily allow him in. I also have collected names from people that have hoste events and asked that I might use them for a reference when I run across someone who is hesitant to allow my son to participate.

As far as the group goes, I think I would ask if the school would be willing to pass out a flyer to the GT classes at several schools in the area.

I agree with Shari -- many programs let your kids participate at an earlier age, if you ask nicely and explain the situation. Where we have not been given permission to join early have been situations where the motor skills of the kids are invovled (e.g., even though my preschooler would have loved taking apart and rebuilding various mechanical devises, and had an appropriate attention span, he would not have had the hand-strength to do it himself).

Also, you might find the GT kids by just having a class that appeals mostly to GT kids. You might not have to adverstise solely to the GT crowd.