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My DS8 who is in second grade at public school has begun what appears to be his annual downhill slide at school. His teacher wrote today to say that we need to create a behavior plan for him. In Kindergarten and 1st grade (and this year), his behavior was great in the fall and early winter. However, once January hit, he started misbehaving. And now it is happening again (e.g. correcting his teacher in a disrespectful way, not staying on task, making jokes and being silly when not appropriate).

I don't believe he is being challenged enough at school (although, not by lack of my trying to get him more!), but we've been compensating for this with activities outside of school (e.g. science and math tutor and lots of extracurricular activities). In many ways, he can act quite immature (e.g. potty jokes, difficulty sitting still). So his teacher and others have been hesitant to let him skip a grade and I think this also leads to their underestimating his abilities.

What I could really use is feedback from you all on if you think this is just a behavior/respect problem or do you think it's a result of his not being challenged enough? How would I know the difference? And why would it start in January each year?

Sounds just like our house! DS8 here has been horrendously bored with school since the new semester started, keeps asking why he has to take the rest of 3rd grade, why he has to go to school, why they have to learn stuff (which he really isn't doing much of anyway), the whole nine yards. He was doing well with behavior, but I've been fearing another outburst since he started talking about his "enemies" at school again.

We definitely have behavior/respect problems, no denying that, but it's exacerbated with boredom in school.

I would venture that one reason it might start in January is because every year he is hopeful that this year, he is going to get to learn new things in school, and by the time the year is halfway over, it is clear that he is not. By that point in the year, he has the routines down, the new teacher has failed to live up to his expectations, and he has lost respect as a result.

FWIW, I think most 8-year-old boys think potty jokes are funny - if they didn't, Captain Underpants wouldn't be such a hit with them. The fact that he acts like an 8 year old shouldn't disqualify him from getting appropriate instruction. He is, after all, an 8 year old. All children have the right to have an opportunity to learn things in school. It may be that if he has something to learn, he will find it easier to stay in his seat and refrain from telling potty jokes.

FWIW, For years I have dealt with the "correcting adults in a disrespectful way" issue, and I am just now learning that the correcting of adults may not be intentional "disrespect" at all on the part of an HG child, it is often an honest reaction and most adults are offended/threatened by it. Is there even a respectful way for an 8 Year old to correct an adult - no matter how right the kid is and how wrong the adult is? It takes a strong adult to not be defensive about being corrected by a child. If I had known then what I know now, I would have spent some time teaching my DD more role playing and behavioral therapy, it might have saved everyone a lot of stress.

Ahhhhhh... looking at your location...

have you noticed behavioral changes aside from school at this time of year?
What's he like on the weekends with you?


The reason that I ask is that we have learned to just "deal" with the fact that my daughter also has this "winter slump" every year. She is irritable and mouthy, and has insomnia problems-- and snaps out of it about March every year.
It was no big deal when we homeschooled, but it has been a major battleground every year after winter break since the semester end-date is at the end of January.
All she will voluntarily do at this time of year (Mid-December through the end of Feb) is read a book and work on independent projects. (This year it is hand-drawn animated short-films.)

Everything else is a struggle-- including getting her out of her pajamas some days. Not kidding. The first few years it happened (starting when she was about 3-4 yo) we assumed that it was the excitement of Christmas that led to the insomnia, but that didn't explain why it persisted into February each year. It was really frustrating.

We have had some luck with lifestyle modifications that help S.A.D., but it definitely didn't completely eliminate the problems. We have concluded that it is probably a combination of things: a) let-down about material lacking novelty/challenge, and b) seasonal affective issues. Judging from the past eight weeks, I think that was probably correct. Now that she's in HS coursework, and has more challenge as well as more 'choice' about courses, she seems to have not slipped quite so far into that hole.

I think that the radical improvement we've seen this year is definitely related to the step up in challenge from middle school coursework-- but it was still quite the battle to get her to 'turn it on' in order to finish the semester.

This is what happens to some people when they only get 8 hours of daylight this time of year. Darned northern latitude.

ETA: does this mean that I am not supposed to enjoy Captain Underpants?

Sounds to me like he's not being challenged. We've had same problem with our DS8 now in 2nd grade. His pre-school, K & 1st grade teachers "got" him and gave him extra challenges to keep him interested, long division in pre-K (which I thought was crazy), more advanced books to read, let him choose his own spelling words, etc. Now in 2nd, teacher says her "hands are tied by curriculum", so he's getting bored, and he's starting to "fall behind" in classwork and her assessments, while nevertheless getting 99th percentile in all areas on the state standardized tests. I digress... I agree with Nik, I don't think it's a behavior/respect problem, I think when your son sees a teacher do something wrong, he can't help but correct them. If the teacher means to write "their" instead of "there" on the white board, our son says something and he cannot understand why he shouldn't, and frankly I think it's OK as long as he's polite about it. Luckily his teachers thus far have appreciated it and not been offended. But as to not being challenged, it's very hard when the G&T programs in school are a couple hours here and there and most of the time the G kids are expected to go with the flow in the regular classroom. It's not enough. We are switching to an all day HG school with an open classroom and no grade levels. It's going to be an adventure, but we are very excited about the possibilities.

Oh and we have ALL the Capt Underpants books. Potty jokes and farting are hilarious in my house, at least to DH and DS. I insist on keeping a lid on it around others, but when it's the three of us, I'm outnumbered and can only roll my eyes...

Aculady, I think you are spot on! My DD does the same thing, though she doesn't act out, every January she complains about school and how easy and boring it is. It hasn't been as bad this year, because she was grade skipped this year. She only complained for a short bit, but ever since preschool, every January we have seen a cahnce in her take on school. This was the first year that it has been short lived. I really do think that every year she had hoped to learn something and then the newness of the school year has worn off and reality sets in that it's the same thing! This year in fact, when in her slump, she cried and said, I just don't understand why the school isn't capable of teaching me something I don't already know! How heartbraking to hear!!!! While you son may just be showing it by acting out, it certainly worth looking into that it isn't out of boredom!

Same thing with my 8 year old. He's complaining about school being boring and slow. Up until now, he was fine. We have the same problem with immaturity being perceived as inability to handle a higher grade. He loves potty jokes, doing things hoping to annoy me, and being wild and silly...but I chalk that up to being an 8 year old boy and am thankful I do not have to teach a classroom full of them!! We actually just got into DYS so when I get my assigned person, I am hoping to get advice from then as to how to approach the school regarding this. It makes me feel a little better to hear others go through the same thing. It is not like we are almost done with the school year for pete's sake...we have 4 full months to go!!! Nan

Thank you all for your responses. It's very helpful to get your perspectives.

Do you all think that our kids (or some HG kids) don't realize they are acting out because of being bored and frustrated that they aren't learning anything? I've asked my son several times in different ways why his behavior has changed at school. He never has an answer for me. However, at other times when we aren't talking about his behavior, he complains endlessly about not learning anything, being bored, etc. So do you think he's not capable of linking his behavior to the boredom and frustration?

HowlerKarma, I don't think it's SAD because while it has started in January each year for the last three years, it actually gets worse as the school year progresses. I almost pulled him out of school six weeks before the end of the last school year because it got so bad. We definitely cannot repeat that again this year!

I know my DD never verbalized the connection between boredom and behavior and it probably could have made her life better if she had.

I don't know whether she was unaware of the link between the behaviors and boredom, I just don't think she realized that there was any potential for change in her school environment, so she dealt with it the best way she could - which just got interpreted by the school (and I'm afraid to say myself for a while) as laziness, passive-aggressiveness, rudeness, spaciness etc. She was very quiet and shy so instead of acting up in the way you describe, she would just bring books and read through her classes and then shrug her shoulders with "I don't know" being her only response when asked why she didn't turn in her work etc.