Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional ADHD meds/overexcit./ sugg? long

So, we received our 2nd ADHD diagnosis (first diagnosis was ADHD and a wrong diagnosis/ 2nd was PG and ADHD from a well respected source). Anyway, we DS is now 7 and we have recently moved to a small town. The things we were able to "control" in our former town are not "controllable" here. He had made many friends in our former place since we had moved there when he was 4 the kids were just used to him. Now that he is seven his differences stand out in a major way. He has significant emotional overexcitablities when he is stressed or upset. Since he doesn't do well with change, this is showing up every time we go to church. He is also very impulsive and loud in comparison to the same age peers. He is now old enough to be aware that "the other boys don't like me. I have no friends at church". He makes friends well on the playground or in the neighborhood. It seems the "classroom" setting of sunday school and kid's church are where he just can't fit in. He is also having trouble with impulsivity at home with his sibling. We tried a med last week and he turned zombie in hours with a non-stimulant. We started a stimulant today and I had to pick him up from art class because a child was rude to him and mocked him and he became upset and refused to do his art and wanted to go home. I want to make the right decision. But, this combo of overexcitabilities in my PG boy with ADHD is so hard to deal with or explain to adults in his life. I don't want to sound like I am bragging that he is "gifted". It is so hard to figure out a way to help people understand him without lowering their expectations of his abilities. So, any advice on how to communicate to other adults about him/ meds to try would be VERY much appreciated(since I think PG kids react so different than typical kids to meds, no research just experience ..he reacts totally diff than the MD thinks he will). I just don't know what to do!! I don't want to hear him say he has no friends and see him meltdown in front of the people he so wants to be friends with. If he does it many more times, he will surely drive them away! I hope this made sense! Thanks for reading my LONG post.

My son is 2e also (PG and autism) and he has a lot of the same problems you talk about with your son. Since our son got the autism diagnosis first, we had started lots of therapies years ago which have helped with his impulsivity. We used/use ABA or CBT and OT, plus social skills therapy. These help him realize what he is doing and how he appears to others so he can correct his behavior at times. That being said, he flipped over his desk at school yesterday because another boy's water bottle was touching his desk. (This is actually the first time in 6 months or so that he has had that dramatic a reaction at school.) My point is, I know what your son is behaving like, and there are options available. Have you talked with someone other than your MD? Do you have a good psychologist? Ours has been invaluable for helping DS understand his mind. We have a whole team that we have been building on since DS was 2 1/2 that I can contact by email if I can't see them in person. I know ADHD is different because of the medication requirements, but I'm wondering if therapy would be something good for your son in addition to the meds. Nan

Well, yeah. Most of the information about PG kids at least alludes to the fact that they can be odd little ducks, and some comes right out and says it. There's a big question in some circles as to where you draw the line between PG/Asperger's and PG/odd duck. I have no answer to that one; my daughter's side of the line changes from day to day. Sometimes I think she was misdiagnosed, and then some days all I can do is look at her and say "oh, honey, the Aspie just had to come out to play, didn't it?"

And I share your frustration at the people who think you're bragging when you say your kid is gifted. Shoot, it's not like I made her that way on purpose, or that it's the result of my stellar parenting. Just genetic expression, like the fact that she's short, blue-eyed and nearsighted.

At any rate, do watch him when you start the stimulants. Some of them can increase the excitability. I'm not saying this to be anti-med, because I'm not particularly, but because we've had pretty dire reactions to two stimulants recently. One of them made her a complete freakshow-- I could have easily had her Baker Acted without anyone batting an eyelash. Thank heavens for short half-lifes.

What Nan said; seeking therapy of the behavioral sort would be a good bet for helping your DS take control over his own social behavior. That's ultimately a more important job than persuading others to understand him; he's going to have to learn to function in contact with others.

Plus, who is your prescribing doc? We see a specialist (developmental pediatrician) for med management; this stuff is so finicky that you want someone who's seen dozens of kids with your kid's problem and profile. I wouldn't trust a regular MD with this job.

Dee

Hear, hear! One of the things I like about our pede is that she refuses to do med management for stimulants and refers out to a pediatric psychiatrist. With the huge increase in kids on meds, I think most pedes are a bit over their heads-- they simply don't have the time to stay current in a specialty area the way a specialist can.